Hammer (Regulators MC 2)

I laugh at his rationale yet secretly love it.

The flight is only a couple of hours long, and I spend the time napping with my head on Ethan’s shoulder. I’m slightly mortified when he wakes me up, and I see that I have drooled on his shoulder. When I look up at him guiltily, he just laughs and leans forward to whisper in my ear.

“You can drool on me anytime, babe, but next time, I’d like you to get my dick wet, instead, okay?”

I playfully slap his shoulder, and he laughs at me again.

Once we leave the airport, he navigates the car through the busy streets of Clarksville as if he has done this a dozen times before. Maybe he has. It only makes my curiosity grow.

Twenty minutes later, we are driving on what I’m guessing is the edge of the city, and he pulls into an entrance that is flanked by two towering stone angels. There is a wrought iron sign above us that reads: “Eternity Fields.”

I can already see headstones in the distance, and my eyes immediately tear up. I know exactly why the love of my life has brought me here: to meet his dad.

Ever since the day I took him home from Flex, half concussed from getting into a fight over me, he has held nothing back. We have talked about our lives growing up: from our parents to our siblings and everything in between. Ethan bringing me to meet his family in any capacity, even ones who have passed on, is special. Not to mention, I know how much his father meant to him and his brother, so Ethan wanting to show his father to me means more to me than he will ever know. It is his way of sharing that special place inside his heart where he holds the memories of his dad.

For a cemetery, I have to admit it is rather beautiful. All around the lot are fields of wildflowers, and the sense of tranquility is incredible. The sun is bright, the day warm, and the air is crisp. It is perfect.

We get out of the car, and Ethan takes my hand. His palm feels clammy inside of mine as he guides me to a bench where we sit.

Looking down at the headstone in front of us, I read the inscription there:

First Sergeant Emmitt McCoy

Devoted husband, father, and soldier.

“Your family has a thing for E names, don’t they?” I ask him playfully, warmed that he would bring me here to meet the man he admired so much.

He winks at me. “It’s family tradition. Remember that.”

With his hand laced in mine, he looks at the marker. “Dad, you raised me to be the man to follow in your footsteps. I haven’t always gotten everything right.”

I feel the emotion pour off him with every word. There is pride, regret, love, and sadness all mixed together.

He squeezes my hand. “I got one thing right, though, in all my fuck ups. I found my woman, my safe place, my equal. I get it now, Dad. I get why you were always telling me to remember to take care of Mom. When I think of something happening to me, my only fear is for Desirae. I did the best I could, and I can only hope you forgive my failures and take pride in my successes.”

He looks from the gravestone to me, his eyes full of love, desire, and passion. “I love you, Desirae. You bust my balls, take none of my shit, and you love me completely through the good times and the bad. You have held me through my failures, and I hope our future is full of successes. I can’t bring back your Suzie Sunshine, but I can let you know she’s safe.” He stands and pulls me up.

The bench we were sitting on is engraved.

In Loving Memory

Suzanne Shythe, sister and best friend

Collapsing back onto the bench in awe, I trace each letter as the tears fall.

Ethan tells me in a gruff but gentle voice, “She’s with my dad. He left this world, trusting me with what mattered most to him. I trust him in their world with what matters most to you.”

Emotions choke me, and for a little while, I’m unable to get words out. All I can do is cry and trace my sister’s name, letting the pain of her loss move through me. It’s not as sharp as it was, but I can still feel it to the bottom of my soul.

In his own way, Ethan gave me my sister back, and for that, I can never repay him. It is the most beautiful, thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me.

Bracing my forehead against Suzie’s name, I close my eyes, and a sense of peace warms me from the inside out. I told Ethan after we got back together about the hallucination I had of Suzie when Ricca had me. I explained how much it bothered me to have Suzie so close to my grasp then brutally taken away from me again, even if it was only a dream of sorts.