The tension didn't subside. It was a live wire sparking through my system, making me feel uncomfortable in my own skin.
I stood there until my legs ached before I turned to the shower, turning the water on to scorching, then scrubbing every inch of my skin, trying to wash him away.
But it was no use.
He'd been all over me.
He'd been inside of me.
I climbed back into my dirty clothes, not wanting to leave the safety of my locked door.
Eventually, exhaustion had me piling all the towels, washcloths, and hand towels into the bathtub, and climbing in, falling into fitful sleep, uncomfortably dominated by dreams about demons. About one demon, in particular.
But they weren't appropriate dreams about hellfire and pitch-black souls.
Oh, no.
They were other dreams.
The kind that left me waking up feeling needy and sick to my stomach over that need.
That sick feeling became incredibly familiar over the next few days. As did the way my mind raced back and forth, trying to accept this new reality.
Heaven.
Hell.
Demons.
Maybe... angels?
I thought until I drove myself half-crazy.
Then I went ahead and kept thinking.
Chapter Twelve
Ace
I couldn't get that look out of my head.
I'd just fucking barely recovered from an orgasm that made me see white. I'd been around for a long time. I'd fucked many women. It always had its appeal, but it hadn't ever been for me like I imagined it felt for human men, given their obsession with having it.
But sex with Josephine finally made me understand that desire that was more like a need.
It had been overwhelming.
I'd barely come to terms with that idea.
Then she'd flipped over.
And that look.
Fuck, that look.
I'd never lost control over myself during sex. I didn't even think it was a possibility for me to Change from an orgasm. I had been so consumed with the other sensations that I hadn't noticed my tongue, my horns, my fingertips.
Josephine sure had, though.
I'd never had to see that look on someone's face before. Protecting our true identity had been of the utmost importance. Who knew what kind of punishment we would endure should hell—or heaven, for that matter—find out that we'd exposed ourselves to the humans.
I imagined, though, that the look of pure and utter panic, fear, and disgust wouldn't have bothered me as much on anyone else's face.
Then she'd screamed. Actually screamed in horror at seeing me only partially Changed.
I'd told myself it was just the shock of it as I slipped on pants then followed her across the hall. But then I'd found her behind two locked doors.
As if that wasn't bad enough, she'd fucking thrown up.
Thrown up because of my true form.
Thrown up because she'd let me put my evil hands on her.
I didn't recognize the piercing sensation in my chest as I stood there on the other side of that door.
But by the time I'd gotten downstairs, had ripped the drink out of Drex's hand, and thrown it back to feel the burn he'd always been so fond of, bits of fiction and music and poetry came rushing back to my mind. Men and women describing exactly what I'd felt listening to Josephine get sick because she'd slept with me.
"That bad, huh?" Drex asked, smirking at me.
"The fuck are you talking about?" I asked, going back to grab the bottle. I couldn't get drunk. I couldn't even imagine what being drunk felt like to the humans, but the burn was at least distracting to the pain in my chest.
"This place has thick walls," he said, still smirking at me. "And I still heard that headboard slamming against the wall. Color me surprised to find out you're suddenly more of a 'do as I say, not as I do' sort of leader."
"Don't fucking test me right now, Drex," I growled, sucking down some of the alcohol right from the bottle.
"Didn't make her come, huh?" he asked, always the sort to stick a finger in an open wound. "Didn't think I'd heard any screams. Losing your touch, man."
"The fuck did I say?" I roared, grabbing him around the neck, lifting him up out of his seat as the Change came upon me again.
"The fuck is going..." Ly started, he and Seven coming to a stop just inside the library door.
"Ace, man, the fuck?" Seven asked, moving forward, watching me with concerned eyes.
"What'd he do this time?" Ly asked, getting an eye roll from Drex.
"What are you doing?" Lenore's voice joined the others, rushing forward, reaching out for my wrist with her hand, burning me.
She'd gotten a lot better at controlling her powers. So much so that she could call it on demand these days, not just when she was scared or angry.
I might have been immortal, but a third-degree burn still hurt like a mother fucker. It was intense enough for me to drop Drex, to let out a string of curses.