“Just tell me.”
His hands left his pockets, and he rubbed the back of his neck.
“Did you kill someone?”
He released a sigh.
“Are you still married?”
“Can I just tell you?” He dropped his hand.
“Oh my god…you’ve been to prison.”
“Daisy, it’s nothing like that—”
“Then what is it?” I demanded. “Because I’m an idiot over here, just falling in love with you and shit—”
“I don’t want to have kids.”
I shut my mouth, the impact of his words a crater in my heart.
He looked away, like he couldn’t meet my gaze. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Like I said, everything happened so fast, and I never expected our relationship to turn into…this. I should have been up front about it.”
I nodded slowly, unsure what to do.
“And I guess I’ve been dragging my feet about it because I’ve been happy…and that happiness would end once I told you.”
My arms crossed over my chest, and I struggled to find something to say.
Now he stared at me. “I don’t even need to ask how you feel about this. Your values are very clear to me. Family is everything to you.”
My hand rubbed my arm like I was cold, chilled in the blazing summer heat. “A lot of guys say that and then they feel differently—”
“This is not one of those instances. I will never change my mind, Daisy. Ever.”
The air left my lungs, his words slamming into my stomach like a fist. “Why?”
He stared for a while before he gave a slight shake of his head. “I don’t need to explain myself. There’s still this stigma in society against people who don’t have children, like there’s something wrong with them, like their choices need to be explained.”
“That’s not what I think—”
“Then don’t ask me that.”
“I just… I assumed you would feel differently since your family is gone.”
As if I’d slapped him in the face, he quickly turned away, a big breath lifting his chest.
I knew there would be no verbal response to that.
Birds chirped overhead, the breeze moved the leaves, the sunshine struck our skin through the openings in the canopy. But it felt like a battlefield full of tension between us now, like we stood at the base of an erupting volcano. Ash was in the air, and it was hard to breathe.
He looked into the forest, his jawline tight. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I had no idea…that I would fall head over heels in love with you.”
With his bag over his shoulder, he said goodbye to my family, doing his best to seem as cheery as he was before we went on our hike together. He shook my father’s hand, hugged my mother, and then fist-bumped my brothers.
It hurt to watch.
He exited out the door, and I walked beside him to his vehicle.
He popped the trunk and tossed his bag in the back before he turned to me. The joy was gone, and now the raw pain remained behind. His hands moved into his pockets, and he stared down at me, unsure what to say.
I didn’t know what to say either.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” There was no hug or kiss. He just got into his car and drove away.
I watched him go, watched until his taillights were out of sight. I remained outside under the trees because it was less suffocating than going back into the cabin where my family would talk about how amazing my man was.
Instead of going back inside, I decided to go for a walk, to head back into the trails through the trees.
Fuck, I didn’t know what to do.
Lots of guys said they didn’t want kids, but that feeling was short-lived.
But the way he talked…it didn’t seem that way.
“Sweetheart?”
I stilled when I heard my dad’s voice behind me. I hadn’t heard him approaching behind me, his footfalls silent on the soft dirt of the trail. My arms crossed over my chest, and I slowly turned around to regard him.
He was in jeans and a shirt, ready to drive back to the city, but he’d come after me anyway. He took one sweep of my expression and saw the pain in my heart. The way he winced, the way his expression tightened, showed his thoughts. “What happened?”
“I’m fine, Dad. I just…don’t really want to talk about it.”
That was his cue to turn around and leave, but he remained, his eyes shifting back and forth rapidly, his mind working quickly to find a solution to this problem, to navigate this tricky terrain. “Did he break up with you?”
“No.” But it sure felt like it.
“So, you guys just had a fight—”
“Dad, I said I don’t want to talk about it. Can I just have some space?”
He held his ground. “There’s nothing you can’t tell me.”
“Dad…” I released a loud sigh. “You and I don’t talk about boys. Ever.”
“And it shouldn’t be that way. That’s my fault. I’ve always treated your brothers differently, when I shouldn’t have.”