“It’s fine, Dad. It’s awkward. I understand.”
“Please talk to me.”
“You’ll talk to him—”
“I won’t say a word, alright?” He stepped up to me, getting closer so he could see the sadness in my eyes. “Just talk to me.”
My arms tightened over my chest, and I looked away. “I told him I loved him…”
Dad was still other than the slow breath he took. “He didn’t feel the same way.”
“No…he does.”
He turned quiet, waiting for the explanation.
I inhaled a deep breath because Atlas’s confession really had destroyed me. “He said he doesn’t want to have kids.”
Dad didn’t say anything.
“So…I don’t see how this is going to work.” I’d found the man of my dreams—and I couldn’t have him.
“A lot of men feel that way. But they change their minds.”
“This…this was different.”
He took a deep breath and released it as a sigh. “I’m going to tell you something, and it needs to stay between us. Is that something we can agree on?”
I looked up at my father, unsure what he might say. I gave a nod.
His gaze was on the ground for a few seconds before he started to talk. “When I found out we were going to have Derek…I wanted her to get an abortion. I’m ashamed to say it, but I actually suggested the idea to my ex-wife.”
I was stunned—because this man was the best father in the world. It was like he was born to be a father.
He closed his eyes because the guilt became too much. “My only interest was dedicating my life to my work to the exclusion of all else. And if Derek hadn’t been a surprise, that’s probably what would have happened. Atlas is dedicated to his work in the exact same way, so that’s probably how he feels.” He inhaled a deep breath as he looked at me, his eyes watering. “But fuck, I’m so glad that didn’t happen. The three of you are everything to me. My work is important, but it’s never more important than you. It’s never given me more joy than you give me every fucking day.”
I swallowed because when my dad got emotional, so did I.
“He’ll change his mind, sweetheart. He’s a young man with a lot of ambition, but his priorities will change the older he gets…and the more he loves you.”
“I’m just afraid to waste my time…and he doesn’t reconsider.”
“If you love him and he loves you, it’s not a waste of time.”
21
Atlas
I felt like shit for a lot of reasons.
One, for not telling her from the beginning.
Two, because I loved this woman like mad and didn’t want to lose her.
But I already had.
The Hamiltons were the tightest-knit family I’d ever seen, a group of people that genuinely loved one another, who would do anything for one another. They didn’t love one another because they had to—but because they wanted to.
I knew she wanted kids the first time I came to the cabin.
How could she not?
Monday was a rough day. I got to the lab early and slipped out before Dr. Hamilton arrived. I worked at the clinic next, staying in my office and avoiding my colleagues. My eyes never moved to the glass to see Daisy pass in the lobby on the way to her office. I didn’t want to make eye contact and feel that punch in my gut.
When everyone left at the end of the day, she left too.
It was over.
I knew there would be a final conversation, an exit interview, a conclusion to a romance that had moved at a sprint. It was snuffed out as quickly as it lit up, a doused inferno. I would have to see her in the office and treat her like she meant nothing to me.
If only I had been honest…and avoided all of this.
I’m a fucking asshole.
When it was time for dinner, I left the clinic and went home. I was in no mood to cook, so I just ordered a pizza and sat on the couch, getting back to work with the game on the TV. My life was work and little else.
Without Daisy, it would go back to the one-night stands, the women who wouldn’t impress me. I wouldn’t see the Hamiltons as often anymore, and I wasn’t sure how Dr. Hamilton would respond.
He might kick my ass for lying to her.
Whatever. I deserved it.
A beep sounded from the monitor at the elevator. “Can I come up?” It was Daisy.
We were doing this now, then.
I set aside my things then pressed the intercom button at the elevator doors. “Sure.” I hit the button and let her in the building, my lungs heavy like two stones. My stomach felt as if it contained a ton of bricks, like I’d eaten that whole pizza even though it hadn’t been delivered yet.
I was in my sweatpants and nothing else, shirtless in my living room, my hands in my pockets as I waited for the doors to open and reveal the beautiful woman with midnight-dark hair.