“I’m not seeing anyone.” I liked the thought of letting him stew with that, but it seemed too dishonest, and dishonesty hadn’t done us any great favors so far. “The truth is, I’ve never found anyone who... measures up.”
And then, hand to God, Neil Elwood, billionaire publisher and entrepreneur, giggled. It was the most charming, teenage-boyish sound I’d ever heard from anyone over the age of twenty. Just like that, I was utterly smitten with him again.
I could either work around him every day and drive myself crazy, or I could continue on this honesty trend. I took a deep breath and stepped off the most insane cliff I’d ever stood on. “Look, this is going to sound... I don’t want anything serious. You don’t, either. But we’re obviously attracted to each other, and now we’re in this situation. If we wanted to see each other casually, what would that hurt?”
I swear I left my body for a second. I looked down on the scene with the most crushing sense of self-awareness I hope never to experience again. What was I doing?
I had just propositioned my boss.
I remember sitting in the back of the taxi that day six years ago, his hand on my thigh over my jeans, his low voice telling me, “Anything you want.”
And like that, I came back to myself, and I was staring into Neil’s gorgeous green eyes, trying to guess what he was thinking.
“Sophie, I’m your boss.” My heart sank, but then he continued, “We would have to be... reasonably discreet around the office.”
“Absolutely. I worked too hard to get where I am.” I frowned. “You don’t think I would do anything to get us noticed? I’m not stupid.”
He looked briefly puzzled at that then said, “You’re right, I’m not giving you enough credit. I suppose I’m remembering you as that impulsive young woman in the airport. You were what, all of twenty-five back then?”
Oh. Yeah.
I cleared my throat. “About that. I maybe fudged a little on my age.”
His eyes narrowed. “You fudged?”
“Yeah, I wasn’t heading to NYU for a graduate program.” He was going to be mad. Really mad. “I wasn’t twenty-five. I was eighteen.”
“Eighteen. Really?” His normally easy speech was stilted and nervous, pitched higher than before. “So that would make you twenty-four—”
“Twenty-four,” I said at the same time he did. “That’s not a problem, is it?”
Neil had been forty-two when we’d hooked up. He’d expressed some discomfort at our age difference back then, and that was when it had been less than twenty years.
He made a few inarticulate sounds, like he couldn’t get his sentence started, then paused and collected himself. “It is a bit of a problem.”
“Ah.” When was our food coming? How fast could I scarf it down and get out of here?
“You see...” He issued a short, disbelieving laugh. “You’re the same age as my daughter.”
Chapter Four
“Your daughter?” I must have misheard him. I was sure I had. Because if his daughter was my age, that meant... “You were married? When you were with me?”
“No, no, I wasn’t cheating on my wife or anything like that,” he said quickly. “I wasn’t married at the time. Emma is my child from a previous relationship. My wife and I have only been married for two years.”
I let out a relieved breath. I would never want to help someone hurt another person that way. Even though it would have been far shittier on his part to have committed the adultery, I would have felt illogically culpable for unwittingly helping him. I was relieved to know he’d been a free agent at the time of our tryst.
Now there was just the problem of the bombshell that had exploded between us. We sat in silence for a bit, thinking our private, horrified thoughts. So, Neil was a father. Of a woman my age. Oh no. He’d spanked me. That suddenly seemed more creepy than hot. I downed the rest of my water, and eyed my coffee resentfully. I should have ordered wine. Or hard liquor.
It was clear that neither of us were comfortable with this new development. I didn’t bother to retract my suggestion of a casual fling. It seemed to be a given that it would just not work out.
At least I was getting a promotion. And I bet, after today, Neil would avoid me like the plague, so there wouldn’t be any future awkwardness between us.
I tried to find a natural path out of the conversation, and settled on, “So, do you have any other... kids?”
“No. I’d always planned to, but the timing was never right. And now, with one child who is an adult, I feel as though those days are behind me.” He leaned back in his chair. “This is quite a mess we’ve found ourselves in, isn’t it?”
I shrugged.
“I do hope you’ll consider the position with the beauty department, in spite of all this,” he added. I had no reason to doubt his sincerity. I couldn’t imagine what he would possibly gain from keeping me at the magazine if he didn’t want me there.