“None. Holli is in L.A. until Monday doing a judging spot on some body paint challenge show. I’ve been running the office from home as much as I can, between dealing with—” Deja gestured helplessly with one hand in the direction of the nursery, then dejectedly let it fall. “But it’s like I can’t lay zir down. Zie wants me to rock zir all day and night. I haven’t showered in two days—”
“Then go shower.” I rolled up my sleeves, though why I did that, I had no idea. Probably because it felt decisive. “I’ll get Piett for right now.”
“No—” she tried to protest, but I steamrolled over her again.
“And I’ll stay until the night nurse gets here,” I went on.
She rubbed her eyes. “We don’t have a night nurse anymore. We haven’t had for months now.”
“I’m getting you one, starting tonight.” I reached for my phone. “I’ve got Mariposa’s agency right here, just a call away. You can trust them. And don’t worry about the expense. It’s on me, for as long as you need help.”
Deja’s shoulders hunched. “Okay. But I’m going to feel terrible about it the whole time.”
“I would expect no less.” I went to the nursery where Piett lay in zir crib, thrashing and crying furiously. I scooped zir up, and zie quieted against my shoulder.
“Do your ears hurt?” I smelled the top of zir head. Not because I thought babies were terrific and their smell was super addictive. Because I always tried to figure out why people thought babies had a super addictive smell that instantly triggered a need to breed. I took another whiff.
Nope, still didn’t work on me.
I jiggled Piett a little to calm zir down. “You just need to be upright, huh? Olivia wanted to be, too.”
That had been the worst part of Olivia’s ear infections. She hadn’t wanted Mariposa, she’d wanted us, and she’d wanted us to keep her upright at all times. “It’s something about the pressure in your ears or something draining,” I explained as zie quieted.
When I got zir settled down a bit, I put Piett in zir bouncy seat and turned on the vibration. It kept zir as quiet as zie was willing to be while I contacted the nanny agency for emergency help. By the time Deja emerged from the bathroom, Piett was asleep, and help was on the way.
“Okay,” I said, tiptoeing through the open plan first floor to meet Deja near the dining room table. “Zie’s out. I’ve got a night nurse coming in. She’ll be here the whole week. If you need her longer—”
Deja burst into tears and fell into hugging me. I put my arms around her rail-thin body and tried to soothe her with the gentle shushing that had worked with Piett.
“I’m sorry,” Deja sobbed. “I can’t let you do that for me.”
“It clearly needs to be done.” I glanced around their usually immaculate apartment and noticed the piles of sorted laundry on the floor and the dirty dishes on the dining room table. “Are you guys...okay?”
“People’s houses get dirty, Sophie!” Deja snapped.
I chalked that up as totally forgivable. She was exhausted and overwhelmed, something I’d heard about new moms going through. I had no idea it could pop up months after the baby was born.
“Of course. And I’m not judging you. I’m just seeing that you’re tired, and it’s making things hard on you,” I tried to explain. “I want to help.”
“It’s really nothing that can be helped.” Deja wiped her eyes. “I just need to get used to things being like this for the rest of this kid’s life.”
“Yikes. I can identify with that.” I motioned to the table. “Sit down. I’m going to make you tea.”
“Neil’s English has rubbed off on you,” she said with a grim laugh.
“A lot of stuff has rubbed off on me lately,” I said over the sound of the water running. I trusted myself enough to use to their electric kettle, despite past mishaps. “Like knowing about the elevation trick to ear infections. Olivia had them all the time, and we had to hold her upright to soothe the pain. Then, my mom said to let her sleep in her car seat, and voila, we got to be actually horizontal for a full night.”
“You have a full-time nanny,” she reminded me a little bitterly.
“Fair. But we also have a responsibility to Olivia. And she wanted us.” I came back to the table and sat down. “I know I’m not her mom, and Neil isn’t her dad, but we do parent her. And we’re not so rich and out of touch that we think it’s cool to opt out of doing things for her. But there are times when you have to help yourself if you’re going to help a baby.”
Deja shook her head. “I feel like it shouldn’t be this hard. I wanted a baby. I was ready to have a baby. I was so excited. I just thought—”