Neil and I left the foyer and headed back toward our room to make one last luggage check.
“You don’t think he knows?” I asked quietly as we made our way to the ghastly, wide spiral staircase in the west turret.
“It’s impossible to say,” Neil admitted. I knew that pained him. He didn’t like to be uncertain of anything. “It certainly sounds that way.”
“He could have meant our lifestyle of running around responsibility free.” I sincerely hoped that was the case. “I mean, he’s still working—“
“That’s not our fault,” Neil snapped.
“No, it’s not,” I agreed. “But you don’t have to bite my head off. I wasn’t the one being a sanctimonious dick back there.”
We walked in silence for a long moment. I had to ask, though I hated to even raise the possibility. “If Valerie knew about us...what do you think she would do?”
“I really couldn’t say,” Neil put his hands in his pockets and looked down at his feet.
“She knows all about your past, though, right? I mean, she knew you were bisexual—”
“And she outed me to my ex-wife,” he reminded me.
“Yes, she did. And it was wrong. But she thought she was helping.” Then again, she might think she was “helping” Olivia by intervening if she found out about El-Mudad. Laurence, it seemed, would absolutely want to “help.” My stomach suddenly relocated itself to six inches higher than normal to make room for more dread. “Neil...they wouldn’t try to get custody or something, would they?”
He didn’t answer right away. When he did, it was with a measured caution that told me all I needed to know. He’d been thinking about this very thing. He’d been just as worried about it as I was, and maybe for a lot longer. “I don’t know. Perhaps she would. I’m not sure what grounds she might have to do so. As far as I’m aware, simply having a roommate isn’t grounds for a declaration of abuse or neglect.”
“What if she does pursue something like that?” I pressed. “Do you have a plan for that?”
“Of course I have a plan.” His expression went hard, and his jaw worked in a telltale sign of grinding teeth. “I have had since the moment we were granted custody. Plans for her and for the Van Der Grafs, as well.”
“Not like...the plans you had for the guy who caused the accident, right?” I whispered, suddenly in dire need of a drink.
“Good lord, no!” he barked. “Sophie, how could you think such a thing?”
Well, maybe because you were willing to hire in a hitman in a time of deep distress. Was what I did not say. But the night he’d tearfully confessed that he’d looked for a way to end the life of the man who’d caused the accident that had claimed Emma and Michael had been one of the truly scariest nights of my life. Neil would never think of such a thing in his right mind but if we lost Olivia, his mind would never be right again.
“I’m sorry. I’m just thinking of how desperate we would be and…well, it isn’t as though you’ve never mentioned it before.” I wished I had never even asked. “I don’t think you’re a bad person, Neil. I just know how important Olivia is to you, and that you’d protect her to your last breath.”
“Killing her grandparents wouldn’t exactly be a protective measure,” he said dryly. “I don’t care for Laurence. The sooner Valerie realizes he’s not good for her—“
I had to nip that line of reasoning right in the bud. The wedding ring on her finger had pretty much canceled any chance they would split up soon.
“Maybe instead of micromanaging Valerie’s love life, you could talk to her directly. Tell her that you’re open to hearing her concerns.” I paused. “She doesn’t like to be dictated to, though. You’re not going to get far passing down edicts from on high.”
“Is that really what you think of me?”
We turned a corner into the familiar hallway to our bedroom. Honestly, sometimes I thought it would be easier to confine myself specifically to this area of the house just so I wouldn’t get hopelessly lost. Which I still did, on occasion.
“It’s not what I think of you. It’s kind of just...how you are. And not in a bad way,” I hurried to add. “It’s what’s made you so successful in life. But Valerie is one of the very few people who isn’t awed by you. And you do have a tendency to forget that where she’s concerned.”
We reached the doors and Neil pulled one handle, gazing down at me with a reluctant quirk of his mouth. “And you’re one of those very few people, I assume?”
“Sometimes.” I couldn’t confidently state that I never felt a little intimidated by him, still. Despite how much we’d been through together, it seemed as though I learned something new about him every day.