The Unhoneymooners

“But I get the bedroom.”

chapter six

SOS

AMI

MR. HAMILTON IS HERE AND I TOLD HIM I’M MARRIED AND IDK WHY? NOW I HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE MARRIED TO ETHAN FOR AN ENTIRE DINNER AND I’LL PROBABLY BE FIRED AND HAVE TO SLEEP IN YOUR BATHTUB BECAUSE I’M A TERRIBLE LIAR.

AMI THIS IS A TWIN EMERGENCY

STOP

I don’t have any fluids left in my body

I’ve been with mom nonstop for over 36 hours

If I don’t die from this I might need someone to kill me. Or her.

SLOW DOWN

Sorry, Sorry

BUT I’M FREAKING OUT

Your new boss is at the resort? In Maui??

He’s here for his anniversary.

Someone called me Mrs. Thomas and I apparently lost my mind.

People are going to be calling you Mrs. Thomas the whole time.

You better get used to it. And calm down. You can do this.

Have we met? I absolutely cannot do this.

Just keep your answers simple.

When you get nervous you look guilty

Omg that’s exactly what Ethan said

Who knew Ethan was so smart

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to throw up for the 50th time today

Don’t waste my trip

I stare down at my phone, wishing my sister were here. I knew this was all too good to be true. I type out another quick message telling her to call me tonight and let me know how she’s feeling, and then I text Diego.

Teach me how to lie

Who is this

GDI DIEGO.

FINE. Who are we lying to?