Thumper (Cerberus MC)

Like an angel stepping through fluffy clouds, the bathroom door opens, and she emerges with only a towel wrapped around her body. Her eyes dart in my direction, shifting away immediately when she finds me watching her.

“Hey,” I manage, the one word sounding like a croak. “Can we talk?”

She shakes her head, grabs a handful of clothes, and disappears back into the bathroom. It takes forever for the door to open back up again. I know she’s trying to wait me out, hoping I’ll fall asleep, but there’s absolutely no chance of that. I don’t know if the hunger I’m feeling will ever fade.

When she finally emerges from the bathroom with clothes on, I don’t pull my eyes from her, following her all the way across the room until she starts to lower herself back into the recliner.

“Don’t do that,” I whisper, pulling the blankets back on the side of the bed closest to her.

“I guess we can’t pretend it didn’t happen?” Her words are soft and pleading, but I have to be honest with her.

“There’s no way to forget it.”

“There are a lot of things I can’t forget either.”

“And there’s no amount of words that will make what I did to you okay.”

“I’m not really talking about me. I’m talking about the website, the one linked to what you were doing in El Salvador while you were working.”

While I was working. What a soft way to describe running a skin trade business. If she only knew just how many websites there were out there that do the exact same thing as the one I was using.

“The guys said they can’t shut it down.”

“They can’t,” I tell her.

“But more girls are getting hurt.”

And despite all the efforts by many organizations, it’ll never stop. We’ll never be able to eradicate sex trafficking and knowing that kills a little part of me each day.

“Several agencies monitor those websites. They’re used as much to try and stop what’s going on as they’re used by the sick fucks that buy abducted women, men, and children. It helps them track the victims’ movements so they can attempt to rescue them. Without the websites, everyone would be operating blindly. Taking them down won’t stop it and doing so would handicap those trying to help.”

She nods, mulling over my explanation.

“I know you jacked off earlier.”

I freeze, slow blinking in her direction.

“I wasn’t being very quiet about it.”

“Apparently we both struggle in that department,” she mutters, shadows bouncing around her face, and I hate that the room isn’t fully lit up. I’d like to be able to tell if she’s blushing or if she’s ashamed. “You were loud on purpose?”

“I wanted to know if you find me as irresistible as I find you,” I tease.

She doesn’t laugh at the joke and I don’t know what to make of her non-response.

“Come on,” I tell her after a long silence, patting the bed beside me.

“That didn’t turn out so great last time.”

“I thought it was perfect. I won’t deny my attraction to you, Cara. I felt it like a sizzle of electricity the second I laid eyes on you for the first time, and I’ve felt shame for it every second since. You were beautiful even with tears streaking your cheeks and burn marks on your wrists, and I know how fucked up that sounds. I wanted to kill the men who hurt you and bruised your body. I want to skin the men alive that made you lose all faith in men.”

“I haven’t lost faith,” she whispers, and it makes my throat seize.

She’s so damn strong, and her ability to live in the now instead of being stuck in the past, hyper-focused on what happens to her gives me hope.

“Can you deny the connection we have?”

“No.”

Another long silence fills the space between us, but it doesn’t feel as far apart as it did those times she sat on the couch in the office watching me while I tried to focus on anything but her and failed every single time.

“Get some rest,” she whispers. “It’s the middle of the night.”

I close my eyes, needing to give her everything she asks of me as an apology for all those things that are unforgiveable.

I don’t move a muscle a while later when I feel the bed shift under her weight, and before long, after she releases a long breath, I fall asleep with the heat of her body beside mine.

Chapter 33

Cara

Warmth engulfs me when I wake, the nice dreams and relaxation slowly ebbing away. At first, I relish the heat, but then stiffen when I realize where I am. Before opening my eyes, I try my best to get all my other senses to come back online without moving.

I remember being unable to get comfortable late last night and waiting until I was sure Javier had fallen asleep before moving from the recliner back to the bed. I didn’t crawl under the covers with him like he’d suggested, rather choosing to lie on top of the blanket and cover myself with the one I was using in the chair.