“You’re moving?” Cal’s voice boomed loudly behind me, startling a gasp out of me.
I turned and shot him a dark frown. “Don’t sneak up on me like that. You scared the shit out of me!”
“Sorry,” he said not looking sorry at all. “I called your name twice, and you didn’t answer. Does this have anything to do with Jameson?”
“Does what have to do with…you know what? No, this has nothing to do with Jamie. It has everything to do with the fact that I’m an adult and I need to learn how to get by on my own.”
Other than those first few months when Molly left for Nevada, I’d never been on my own. It was time.
Calvin laughed. “Look around, Maddie. We’re all adults, and we all still live at home.” He shrugged. “Even though they piss me off more than they don’t, there’s something comforting about having family so close. Even with all the headaches and fights, it’s nice to have them all close by. Safe, too.”
I understood all that. “Yes, but this is your family, Cal. And you stay close because there are always people trying to take you out.”
That was another factor. I didn’t want to end up in the crossfire of the many enemies of the Ashbys, as a family or as individuals.
“Goddammit, Maddie,” he roared and smacked a flat hand on the sturdy wood desk that pushed up against the window.
“I need you here for Ava. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing without Bonnie. Or you.”
“You do know what you’re doing, Calvin. It’s time for you to decide if you’re going to raise your little girl or spend your life chasing Bonnie’s killer.”
Cal shook his head. “I need you here and so does Ava Rose.”
“You don’t need me. You need your family, and that’s not me. This isn’t my family.”
I didn’t even know how to describe my relationship with this family, but if Terry wasn’t family, then I sure as hell wasn’t.
“Bullshit,” Cal spat at me. Finally, some of the life was coming back to him, and I was happy to see that. “You might not be blood, but you are family to me. Ava knows you better than anyone. You dry her tears and play with her. You’re the one who gives her the foods and toys she likes.”
He was right about that. The little girl did have a spot in my heart, another motherless child who would never be the same because of the loss.
“That’s low, Cal. Even for you.”
He let out a dark laugh. “I’m not interested in playing fair any longer. That shit hasn’t gotten me anywhere.”
I sighed, silently acknowledging it was true. “Let that work for you, Cal. I need to figure out what works for me.”
“Maddie,” he growled and folded his arms, looking more like the old Cal with every passing moment. “Give me a few months. I just need a few months to get a handle on this, so I can be the dad my little girl deserves. Please.”
“What’s a few months?”
“Six.”
I shook my head automatically. “That’s too long, and I’ll get too comfortable with this cushy life that isn’t mine. Three months, that’s all I can give you.”
It wasn’t like I had an apartment lined up yet, anyway. And since things were utterly fucked with Jameson, I could give up three more months of my life.
For Ava Rose.
“Fine, I can work with three months. For now. But I reserve the right to persuade you to stay longer if we need it.”
“And I reserve the right to refuse.”
He flashed a playful smirk. “If you can.”
Oh, I would refuse when the time came. “You have three months, Calvin Ashby. Use them wisely.”
“I will.” There was a promise in his tone that I wanted to believe, but people didn’t change so easily. Cal was mired in grief so thick, I was starting to think he liked feeling like shit. Ava Rose’s cries sounded from the monitor attached to his pocket, and he pointed to it. “Can you? I got some shit I need to do.”
“That’s properly vague, but sure. I’ll go up to her in a sec.” I cast one last, longing look at all the shiny new apartments for rent before closing the laptop with a sigh. Later. That was my future.
Ava Rose, Cal and the Ashby family, they were my present.
Chapter Thirty
Jameson
“Smells damn good in here.” I stood just inside the kitchen at my childhood home, watching Ma as she stirred and tasted three different pots bubbling on the stove. “What’s for dinner?”
She flashed a smile at me over her shoulder. “Jameson! I haven’t seen you in forever. Get over here and give your mom a kiss.”
My feet were on the move, and I wrapped her in a tight hug. “Hey, Ma. How are you?”
“Good. Better now that my boys are here for dinner.” She patted my cheek and gave me a long, studious look, checking to make sure that all was right in my world. “How are you, Jameson? Settling into the job?”