Eat Crow (Cheap Thrills 6)

“We had to use the old creamer because someone forgot to pick it up,” Raoul replied, pointing at Garrett. “I won’t say names, though.”

“Nice,” Garrett drawled, rubbing his eyebrow with his middle finger. “Excuse me if I had bigger things to worry about this morning.”

“Not as big as moving into a motel called Hell On Wheels,” Alejandro muttered, getting up and pouring his coffee out into the sink and settling on just having it black this time.

“Yeah, so explain why you moved into the motel while we wait for the others,” DB said as he took a mouthful of his coffee and made a face. “Damn, I can’t get past the lumps. I want to try, but it’s just not happening.”

Chuckling, Raoul picked up his cup. “Imagine what it’s doing to your guts.”

Knowing they’d just keep picking away, I figured it was best just to answer now and get it over and done with. “We moved into the motel because of the babies and Doyle. My parents have their own pets, and we didn’t want the kittens to get scared. Bexley’s parents can get… hectic.”—i.e., they were freaking weird when you least expected it— “And her dad tends to do home improvement stuff when you least expect it, and we weren’t sure if something he did would be bad for them to inhale or be around. They also have a bird, and we weren’t sure if it and Prince would mix well.”

Looking intrigued, Raoul leaned forward. “So, as you know, Rose’s parents ain’t exactly normal. What kind of hectic and home improvement shit are we talking about? Chains from the ceiling? Crosses on the walls?”

I couldn’t hold back the shudder that came out of me at the thought. “No, that’s just wrong, man. All I’m saying is that her mom decided to take up belly dancing two weeks ago on a whim, so it isn’t unusual for her to put music on and bang these little finger symbols together.

“Kenton does things like suddenly touch up a wall or shave down a door. Hell, last time we were at their house, he disappeared, and all we could hear was hammering from the kitchen. When we went through, he’s on his hands and knees, breaking up a floor tile to replace it because he thought it looked weird.”

All of them went silent, but DB’s eyebrows went up like he could understand the guy doing that.

Yeah, sure, so could I, except for one detail.

“The floor was laid fifteen years ago. It took him that long to decide he didn’t like the tile. He removed it before he found where they’d put the leftover tiles back then—which took us over an hour, by the way. Having loud music, chipped tiles, cement, grouting, whatever he’s doing, isn’t good for the babies, Prince or Doyle. They could get hurt or ingest it.”

Sighing, Alejandro leaned back. “Gotcha.”

“You know,” DB mused, a small smirk on his face. “You sound like a daddy.”

“Do not put that out into the world,” I growled, glaring at him. “It wasn’t that long ago your daughter was shitting across a floor.”

Garrett and Tamsin had babysat for DB and his wife Tabby once, and while they did it, their daughter had proven exactly how unpredictable a baby’s stomach could be. From what I’d heard, Garrett had almost thrown up while they were dealing with it, and Tamsin had lost her favorite toothbrush in the cleanup.

We were talking projectile diarrhea on the floor, and that was something we didn’t need in our lives right now (or ever).

“Hey,” Garrett barked, “you weren’t there. You have no idea the nightmares I have after that. It was like something out of a horror movie, like pea soup from the ass that never stopped.”

“Wow,” Mark drawled from the door. “And I thought my family was weird. I’m so glad we turned up when we did.” His words didn’t match the sarcastic tone of his voice, FYI. But he wasn’t wrong when he said his family was weird.

All of us watched as he, Carter, and Alex came into the room, automatically going over to where the coffee was waiting for them.

“Are we warning them about the creamer?” Raoul whispered out of the corner of his mouth, getting a headshake from DB.

Once they were all seated, DB launched straight in.

“Surprise, we sent Naomi out to a call at the retirement home after another situation broke out between two of the occupants. She managed to settle it down and get them all discussing a television show within ten minutes.”

Carter whistled. “Well, damn. I still have the shirt they ruined when I went there. How did she do it?”

The retirement home in town regularly had disputes between the occupants. It was like a reality show, but one that none of us wanted to witness. Those old people were brutal, and we’d all experienced the pain of those calls, both mentally and physically.

“Why did you send her?” Raoul asked, watching with a smile on his face as Alex took a sip of his coffee and then scowled into the cup.

“It wasn’t an actual call out, more of a check-in. I asked her to do a review of the place, and while she was there, a fight broke out. She just waded in and settled it, so they’ve requested her as a contact in the department.”

“If she gets called to a dispute there, I’m going with her,” Carter said, looking pissed off. “She can’t go on an official capacity because she’s not an officer, but I’ll go as her back up.”

“Agreed,” DB nodded. “Now, onto yesterday. The techs uncovered a body in the basement of the cordoned-off property that Alejandro and Logan looked at yesterday. I’m not sure if y’all are aware of what they came across, but the body was buried under dirt, and they were planning to pour the concrete on top of it. Unfortunately, the mixer broke, and a burst pipe up the hill moved water into the space, making the dirt liquid.”

“It was mud,” Alejandro clipped. “And they hadn’t leveled it off properly, so a lot of it moved down to the lower part of it, meaning his arm was uncovered and up in the air.”