Eat Crow (Cheap Thrills 6)

Oh, Jesus, she hadn’t killed him with one, had she? Who was that woman who cut her husband’s dick off and threw it in a field?

Reaching out, I shook her hand and then leaned back as DB did the same.

“Would you mind telling us why you called us here, Mrs. Kirkwood??

? he asked after the formalities were over.

“Yes, yes. You see, I hate my husband, and I heard him discussing the incident at the school today, saying it was a good thing, and I lost my temper.”

Oh, I was definitely going with the dick in the field now.

Then, she motioned at us to follow behind her. I was on the third step when Governor Dahl called out, “Once you’re done, come back down and say hi. We can compare notes.”

I started mentally going through all of the fields and grassy areas around the house where you could hide a penis, shooting DB a worried look at the same time.

“You lost your temper, Mrs. Kirkwood? What do you mean?” DB pressed as we got to the top of the stairs.

“Please, call me Kelly. I hate that last name and can’t wait to get rid of it. So, yes, I lost my temper and decided to restrain him so that you can arrest him. I filed for divorce three days ago, but I can’t wait for it to be completed after this. I was actually quite scared about him getting the papers, you know,” she told us, looking back at us as she opened a door and pointed inside the room. “Now, I don’t have to worry at all.”

“Jesus Christ,” DB barked, taking a step to the side at whatever he saw and leaving a gap for me to see what the problem was.

I needed eye bleach. I needed mental bleach. Fuck it, I’d take carving my eyes out if it was the only option available to me.

On the bed was Dirk Kirkwood, arms and legs tied to the posts coming out of the bed’s corners. That would be scarring enough, but he was naked, and his legs were tied higher up the posts, so we had an unimpeded view of everything I’d never wanted to see on him.

Before DB could say it, I stuttered, “Not it,” and took a step back, then pushed blindly through the other guys to get to the back.

One by one, they all saw it and reacted in their own way, but my favorite was Alex, who moaned, “I’ve literally stared into the ass hole of the Devil, there’s no coming back from this.”

Knowing that we would have to start processing him, I jogged downstairs and introduced myself to Governor Dahl.

“Call me Ned,” he said smoothly, pointing at one of the chairs. “Going to take some therapy to get rid of that mental image, right?”

“A little warning would’ve been great,” I replied dryly.

“Now, where’s the fun in that?”

Fun? No, but wasn’t it human decency?

Both of us shuddered, recalling what we’d seen upstairs. Some therapy wouldn’t cover it—a fuck ton of it might.

“What brings you to Piersville, Governor— I mean, Aust—” I stuttered, trying hard to remember what he’d asked me to call him. My brain had just been abused in the worst way, throw me a freaking bone.

“Ned, just Ned. And to answer your question, I was concerned about the school shooting, and because I was in the area, I dropped by to discuss the matter with the mayor to see if I could lend some assistance.”

Bullshit.

“And you found him like that?” I waved at the ceiling, unable to stop the cringe.

“Oh yeah. Kelly thought I was the Police, so she happily took me upstairs to arrest him. I thought maybe she’d locked him in the room, so I wasn’t expecting it.”

“I was expecting a Lorena Bobbitt situation and having to go penis hunting in the fields.”

Ned nodded slowly, looking pained at the thought. “I can see that possibility. We just have to be grateful that it’s not how your night panned out. She seems genuinely disgusted with what she heard, so I think she wanted the law to deal with him, not a pair of scissors.”

I could hear her talking and getting closer to us and looked behind me at where she was gesturing to DB as she explained something. “You see, it was instant love for us, so when I found him in the basement—”

“Him being Cullan?” DB clarified, mentioning Jordy Watts’s brother.