Eat Crow (Cheap Thrills 6)

“Can’t get much more tied to someone than having their baby,” Ren pointed out correctly.

“Especially when you’re living with them, too,” Cole added.

“To be honest, it makes me love her that little bit more. I want to marry her, absolutely, but I also know that it’ll be something special when she finally agrees. I don’t want to hurry into it or for her to feel like she’s doing it just because—”

“Uh, I don’t see how y’all are hurrying into it?” Cole said, frowning. “You’ve been together for how long? Two years?” At my nod, he continued, “And you’re having a baby together. How’s that rushing into it?”

Shrugging, I drained the last of the beer from my bottle. “To me, it isn’t, but I want Bex to understand and agree with that when she says yes.”

Huffing out a laugh, Ren shook his head. “You’re a better man than I am. I’d have kidnapped her and gone to Vegas.”

“There’s still time,” Cole snickered, holding his bottle out in a toast. “To Logan, his stubborn girlfriend and maybe wife-to-be, and his beautiful baby girl.”

“Amen!” Ren shouted, holding his bottle up.

“Hey,” Cole snapped his fingers. “If you want to prove you love her, go through the labor before she does.”

Ren groaned as his head dropped back onto his chair. “Not this again.”

That was impossible, wasn’t it? “How the hell do you do that? Like, carry around a bump on my stomach?”

“No,” he sat forward on his chair, his eyes sparkling. “I did it when Ebru was pregnant, and the others decided to do the same because they don’t have an original idea of their own.” Tapping his head, he winked at me. “Mensa.”

“Mensa, my ass,” Ren muttered, glaring at his brother again. “You cried like a baby and almost shit yourself.”

Whoa, boundaries obliterated. All I’d done come in for was some advice.

“I seem to recall you didn’t do much better,” he replied coolly, then turned back to me. “There’s a pregnancy experience place you can go to, but an ad popped up on my social media feed the other day for a home kit that does the same thing.

“You just pop the electrodes onto your stomach where it says to in the instructions, and it takes you through the birthing experience.”

“Without the baby, though, right?” The question popped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

“Well, obviously. Unless you’ve got the right hole to push a baby out of?”

Wincing at the thought, I pressed my knees together. “Negative.”

“Hey, hyenas have a weird birthing experience, so I never say never when it comes to something like that happening with humans.”

Ren and I looked at each other and then back to Cole. “I’m going to regret asking about this, I just know it, but what do you mean about hyenas?” Ren asked, leaning forward in his chair.

Cole’s body language changed immediately like he was a kid watching a magic show. “It was on this wildlife program that the kids were watching yesterday. Basically, female hyenas give birth through their clitoris and get this—it’s called a pseudo-penis.”

I’m going to hold my hand up and say, the mental images that popped into my head of a baby’s head coming out of my dick would give me nightmares for months.

“You’re lying,” Ren snapped, pulling his phone out. “No fucking way does a hyena give birth through a pseudo-penis.”

“Check away, my man, check away,” Cole sat back, waving his hand. “The birth canal’s only like an inch wide, so a lot of babies don’t survive, but they most definitely do pop the bambinos out via a female-hyena-wienus.”

I was staring into space and jumped when Ren clipped, “Oh, holy shit, that’s just wrong,” and grabbed himself between the legs.

“Penis babies?” His smug nod was enough, so I held my hand up and went to get out of my chair. “Thanks for everything. I feel less freaked about it now—” apart from cock births “—and I’ll think about the—” definitely not the hyena pseudo-penis babies “

—birth experience.”

Standing up, Ren pulled me in for a quick hug and thumped me on the back. “Good luck, man. You’ve got this.” Then, he whispered, “Don’t look it up on the web. Trust me, you don’t want to do that.”

To say that I left the garage feeling relaxed, excited, and more determined than I went in was an understatement. But on the other hand, I felt like I needed to go and buy a metal guard to lock around my crotch.