Courage (Heroes of Big Sky 1)

“This job is what you want,” she says slowly, seeming to turn it all over in her head. “You’ve said so for a couple of years.”

“Yeah.” I prop my hands on my hips. We’re still on the front porch in the cold, where the kids can’t hear us. “Yeah, I want this job.”

“Then I don’t know why we’re having this discussion,” she says, but there’s no anger or censure in the words. “This is your dream, Sam, and I’ll be damned if I stand in the way of that. I’ve known you for most of my life, and I know this is important to you.”

“You’re important to me.”

“And I’ll be here.” She cups my cheek in that way she does that makes my breath catch. “I’m not going anywhere. And neither are the kids. Sam, we can make anything work as long as we have each other. As long as we’re together.”

I yank her to me and kiss her, long and hard, pouring every ounce of the cacophony of emotions bursting through me into the kiss. I don’t want to leave her, but I’m so fucking grateful to her for knowing what I need and saying what I needed to hear.

For her unyielding understanding.

“Thank you,” I murmur as I pull back. I can’t help but press my lips to her soft forehead. “I don’t know what else to say except thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” she says softly. “This is what family does, Sam.”

Chapter 15

~Natasha~

I’m so damn exhausted.

Is Christmas this exhausting for all parents? We’ve done everything: school plays, the Christmas stroll, parties, gift and cookie exchanges. Hell, I’m going to another cookie exchange tonight, but this one includes wine.

I need all the wine in the land.

I’ve baked more cookies in the past two weeks than I have in my entire life combined.

If I never see another red or green sprinkle, it will be too soon.

But the kids have loved it. The lights, the treats, seeing their friends more than ever. They’ve both smiled more since we put the tree up than I’ve seen since their parents died.

I guess it’s been the mood booster we all needed.

But on top of all of the activities, I’ve also been wrapping gifts and delivering things to friends and loved ones.

We’ve received at least half a dozen invitations for Christmas dinner.

And I have to admit, I love that our community has rallied around us at this time, for the first holiday without Monica and Rich, and that they want to support us all.

I’m grateful.

But I’m also so damn tired.

Sam and I decided that we’d spend Christmas at home, just the four of us. He isn’t on call at the station, which surprised me because he also had Thanksgiving off.

But that’s another thing to be grateful for. Our time together is ticking down, so I’ll take every minute with him that I can get.

“Okay, guys, I shouldn’t be late.” I hustle into the kitchen and make sure I have everything I need in my handbag. “I’ll have my cell on me if you need anything.”

“We won’t need anything,” Sam assures me as he sidles up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist, kissing my neck from behind. “Why do you have to look so delicious tonight?”

“I definitely don’t,” I reply with a laugh. “My makeup didn’t cooperate, the jeans I wanted to wear were in the laundry, and I feel like I’m forgetting something.”

“Cookies?” He reaches over for the big roaster pan full of the cookies I’m bringing to share. It’s nestled in an empty pan that I’ll fill with an assortment of everyone else’s cookies.

I’ll have to freeze them. We have cookies coming out of our ears.

“I’ve never been this social before.”

“People like you,” he says simply.

“They didn’t like me last year?” I lean over to kiss his cheek. “Okay, I’d better go.”

“Hey.” He takes my chin in his fingers and tilts my head up so he can examine my face. “You okay?”

“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You have dark circles going on. You look beat, babe.”

“So tired.” I sigh and close my eyes for just a moment, but then I straighten and offer him a brave smile. “But fine. I won’t be late, and I’ll go to bed early for the first time in over a week.”

“You could stay home,” he suggests. “Get comfy and lounge.”

That sounds like the best idea I’ve ever heard. But I know I can’t do that.

“Ellie will be sad if I don’t come. It’s her first cookie exchange. Or, biscuit exchange, as she calls it. I can’t bail on her.”

“You’re going up the mountain?” He frowns down at me.

“No, it’s at Nina and Sebastian’s place.” I kiss him one last time, then hug each of the kids. “Have fun. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Drive safe.” Sam walks me to the door and kisses me once more, lingering a little longer than needed. “And have fun.”