“We don’t even remember it.”
“We might not be able to remember that night and our actions, but it will forever be the night you took my last name, and we started our family.”
“Family?” I croak.
“A baseball team.” He smiles.
I close my eyes, willing myself to stay strong. He says all of this now, and I’m sure my father did too. I know how that turned out. “I refuse to make you feel trapped.”
“Trap me, Kenna. Fuck, baby, tie me to the bed, lock me in the house. I don’t give a fuck as long as you and our baby are with me. I love you, McKenna.”
I nod. “I know. I love you too.”
“Then why are you pushing me away?”
“My parents,” I croak, and his face goes white.
“No. No, McKenna. That’s not us, baby. No way. I love you, and I love our baby. I would never do anything to hurt either of you in any way.”
“He probably thought that too. My dad, I mean.”
“Fuck him. I am not him. He was a piece of shit. They both were, in my opinion.” He takes a deep breath. “Look. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t talk about your parents like that, but fuck, Kenna. You can’t compare me to them. They put you in situations a little girl should never be in. One I can guarantee that my children will never be in.”
My mind races, and thoughts of the fights, the screaming, the fists, the tears— “I need to go.”
“Please don’t go.”
“I need to. I just… I need some time.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know.”
“Where are you going?”
“Home.”
“This is your home.”
“I don’t live here.”
“You’re my wife.”
“On a piece of paper.”
“In my heart. Right fucking here.” He bangs on his chest over his heart. “You’re the mother of my child,” he tries again.
“I won’t keep you from the baby.”
“No. You won’t. You won’t have to because we’re married, and we’re a family. You and me, and this little one.” His hand drops to my belly again. “I love you both, McKenna.”
“I can’t do this right now. I need to go.” I can’t think right now. My mind is racing, and my heart is breaking. There’s a tightness in my chest that I fear will never go away.
“Let me drive you. I don’t want you driving upset,” he says sadly.
“It’s a half a mile down the road.”
“I don’t care. You and this baby are everything to me. I want you safe.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Please? I’ll have Lara follow me and bring me back here. I’ll give you some time to process this, but I’m not going to stop until you understand that I’m not trapped, Kenna. I’m in love with a woman who has held my heart longer than I realized. That same woman is making me a father. There is no greater gift than you, love, and our family.”
He keeps his hand on my belly as he digs his cell phone out of his pocket. “Hey, I’m going to drive Kenna to her grandparents’. Can you follow me over and pick me up?” Silence. “She needs some time to process this.” More silence. “I don’t need to process anything. I found out the woman I love is already my wife and making me a father.” More silence. “Thanks, Lara.” He ends the call. “Let me drive you home.”
I nod because what else can I do? My eyes won’t stop leaking tears, and I really do need to go see my grandparents. Maybe they can help me work this mess out. Maybe I can have them talk to Rip and explain. Climbing out of the car, I pass him at the rear, and he pulls me into a fierce hug.
“I love you so fucking much, McKenna,” he says, his voice cracking.
I hug him back. “I love you too.” I do. I love him, and I love this baby, our unexpected surprise. Never a mistake. Always loved. I’ll make damn sure of it.
He drives me to my grandparents’ place, and without a word, I climb out of the car, not looking back as I head inside. I hear the car door slam, and then another, telling me he’s driving away with Lara. Good. I need time. Opening the front door, my grandparents are sitting in the living room. When one looks at me, they both become alert.
“What happened?” Gramps asks.
“Come here, Mac,” my grams pats the couch next to her. “Tell us what’s going on.”
So I do.
I take the seat next to her and let her hold me close and let the words spill. I tell her about Vegas and how we got married, finding out only today, and I tell them about the baby. I tell them that I’m scared out of my mind to lose Rip and to do this on my own. I also tell them I don’t want to make him feel trapped like my father. “I don’t want us to turn into them,” I confess.