I reached for a piece. “I’ll be there.”
“So, you’re staying overnight?”
I nodded around a mouthful of the crispy treat. “Thought I’d unpack the TV I bought and set it up. Maybe wire up the sound system.” I paused. “Damn, this is good.”
She laughed. “I know. We taste-tested it earlier.”
I chewed and swallowed. “I think there’s a new piece of equipment Dad mentioned at the Hub I might try.”
“Your brothers in town tonight?” she asked.
I smiled at her obvious attempt to be innocuous.
“Yes, Mom, they are. And yes, I know they are bringing Kim and Diane out to meet you tomorrow.” I set down the chicken, wiping my fingers. “And yes, I’m fine with it. I met them. I liked them.”
“It’s just…” She trailed off, and I patted her hand.
I hated seeing the worried look on her face. The way the frown pulled her mouth down.
“Mom, it’s okay.” I hastened to assure her. “Things are changing. You didn’t really think we’d all fall in love at the same time and set up house together or anything, did you? You knew we’d all find different paths eventually.”
“I know.” She sighed, looking at me as if I were crazy. “Of course I know that. But they’ve both done it at the same time, meaning you’re alone. That must leave you with some residual negative feelings.”
Part of me wanted to tell her, yes, it did. But I knew it would only upset her more. So, I opted for what people expected of me. I joked around.
“Mom, have you been watching a lot of Dr. Phil lately or something? Residual negative feelings? What are you reading these days?” I lifted my hands. “The boys are seeing a couple of great girls. I’m with them every day at work and still some evenings,” I fibbed a little. “I’m fine, they’re fine. Everyone is fine. Stop worrying.”
She stood, crossing her arms and tapping her foot. Instantly, I knew she wasn’t buying it. Not for a second. The toe-tapping was a dead giveaway when she was upset.
“It’s my prerogative to worry. I’m your mother. And if you think I can’t see through you, Ronan Adam Callaghan, you are sadly mistaken. I know you’re hurting. I know you’re lonely. Of the three of you, you have always felt things more intensely. Worried more. I’m not sure if it comes with being the firstborn of triplets or if it is simply part of your DNA, but you are different from Paul and Jeremy.” She patted her chest. “Inside. You are different.”
I blinked at her lecture.
“I’m fine,” I repeated, thinking if I said it enough, it would be true. That I wouldn’t feel slighted or ignored. Lost. I had no reason to feel that way. What I said was true. I liked the girls, and Paul and Jeremy seemed happy. We were still connected and saw one another every day.
I ignored the little voice that reminded me they saw each other way more often, but I was no longer included in those moments.
Mom slapped her hand on the table. “If everything were fine, you would not be sitting alone in an empty house on a Saturday night, eating fried chicken and setting up a TV.”
“I’m not alone. You’re here.”
She stalked to the door and spun on her heel. “When you are ready to be open with me, you know where I am. Until then, enjoy your chicken.” She paused. “And it’s not Dr. Phil. It’s a new book I got at the library on channeling your inner therapist. Obviously, I struck a chord, and you’re using sarcasm to push me away.”
She flounced out, the door slamming behind her. I blinked at her anger. Then the door opened and she raced in, flinging her arms around me.
“I love you, Ronan. Come over later and have dessert.”
Then she was gone.
I tried not to laugh. Mom never could stay mad at any of us. Especially Dad. He did the stupidest stuff, and she forgave him. Like the time he snuck into Ava’s graduation dance to check on her, and he got caught when he stumbled and fell through the curtains covering the gymnasium walls and landed on the dance floor, in a pile of rented fabric. He embarrassed Ava in front of her whole class, and when he tried to make a joke, she kicked his feet out from under him again, leaving him lying in the fabric once more. Mom had to go pick him up at the school and she was furious, but by the next morning, she was more amused than angry. Ava, on the other hand, didn’t talk to him for a week. It was epic. Bentley and Maddox still teased him about it.
I didn’t want her to worry about me. I didn’t want anyone to worry about me. It was my job to worry about my brothers. The tug of loneliness, the feeling of being cut off from them, would fade. I was certain about it.