“Explain that to me.”
I turned and faced her fully, gripping the back of the armchair, feeling a flare of anger. “Because once I do, they’ll be all over her. All over us. Sunday brunches, interfering with plans. Hanging out with Paul and Jeremy. For the first time in my life, I have something of my own. Something I don’t have to share. When I’m with her, I’m just Ronan. Not one of the triplets. Not one of ‘the kids.’” I shook my head. “She makes me eggs the way I like. She asks me how I want something. And I get to choose. I don’t have to think of my brothers. I don’t have to worry they won’t like it. She looks at me and sees me. Nobody else. She knows I dislike lettuce on a sandwich. Mom still adds it because it’s what Paul and Jeremy prefer. I’m the odd man out so often there. But not with her. Not with Beth.” I hung my head. “I’m not ready to give that up.”
For a moment, there was silence.
“Keep going. What else? Talk to me.”
I looked at her, her gaze understanding. Once again, I had to avert my eyes, but her look of sympathy was enough and it was like a dam burst. “I don’t like nuts in my ice cream, and Mom never remembers. And mustard. I hate that shit.” I was rambling, but I didn’t care. “Or last year when Paul and Jeremy decided to try stock car racing and I wasn’t interested. They did it on their own, not even thinking maybe we could find something to do together, and no one questioned it or thought about the fact that they were doing something without me. But when I did that windsurfing course by myself, they got their noses all out of joint about not being included. It’s fine for me to be alone because, you know, it’s good ole Ronan.”
I stopped and ran a hand through my hair. I sounded like an idiot, but I didn’t care.
“But with Beth, I’m not alone,” I concluded, mumbling.
“That was hard for you to admit,” Ava stated softly.
I nodded, not looking up. “I feel guilty.”
She laughed and knelt on the chair, looking up at me. She tickled my chin the way she used to when I was little, making me lift my head. I looked down at her, expecting to see anger, but there was none. Caring and understanding were in her expression.
“Ah, Ronan. You’ve always been the leader for your little pack, haven’t you? Always looking out for Paul and Jeremy.”
“Someone had to,” I mumbled.
“You have no idea, do you?” She smiled and patted my cheek.
“No idea about what?”
“They know it. Liam and I know it. So do Mom and Dad. You think no one sees you for you, but we do. We know you’re the strongest. The smartest. The leader. We know you step back and make sure Paul and Jeremy come first. The other two-thirds of your little pack adore you beyond reason and look up to you, even if they don’t tell you.” She dropped her voice. “I’ll tell you another secret, little brother. You’re the favorite. Of everyone. Not just Gracie.”
“I am not.”
“You are,” she confirmed. “And I’ll tell you something else. You’re wrong. You don’t have to give up anything with your girl. What you have to do is learn to say no.”
I furrowed my brow in confusion. “What?”
“You can set the boundaries. You can say no to invitations. You can tell people to call before they drop over. You can say no if you want to.” She met my eyes, her gaze steady and serious. “You say it to yourself often enough. Now you have to learn to say it to other people.”
I didn’t say anything for a moment, and she kept talking. “Gracie and Jaxson set boundaries. So did Addi and Bray. Even I have some. Think about it. So do Paul and Jeremy. They have chosen to stay close to their girls rather than live here all the time.” She smiled. “It’s called being grown up, Ronan. Making our own choices.”
I let her words sink in.
“We all want you to be happy, Ronan. From what I saw today, this girl makes you happy. How does she feel about meeting the family?”
I shuffled my feet. “I haven’t told her about our family.”
She stood, frowning. “How does that work, exactly?”
Her words were so similar to Gracie’s, I had to smile.
“You find this funny?”
“No.”
I began to pace again. “She thinks I’m just a regular guy. She has no idea of my connections, my family, what I do, how much money I have, nothing.”
“So, you’re lying to her.”
“I’m letting her get to know me.”
“How can she know you, Ronan, if you’re hiding part of yourself?”
Her words brought me up short.