Transcendence

Still, both of our children have lived past toddler age, which doesn’t always happen. Neither of them has fallen sick, and they are both strong.

I yawn again, scratch the stubble on my chin, and wrap my fur back around me to ward off the morning chill. I walk slowly back to the front of the cave, inhaling the clear, fresh air and listening to the sounds of birds. They remind me that we will be able to hunt for eggs not too long from now, and Lee loves to climb the trees.

“Lee!”

My son beams at me as I enter the cave, makes sounds at his mother, and then grabs the small spear I made for him. He is still young for hunting larger animals, but I know he wants to try, and we need the meat. The spring plants are still hard to find, and I’m tired of rabbit.

Lah makes gruff noises at her brother and Beh, but Beh responds loudly, and Lah grumbles as she sits next to the fire and begins to fiddle with fresh grasses. She’s been weaving new mats and has already surpassed her mother’s skills. Lee follows me out of the cave, his sounds diminishing quickly.

He doesn’t make noises when his mother and sister are not near us, which I like.

We travel up the cliff to the high steppes. The wind blows much harder here, and I wrap my fur a little tighter around my shoulders as we walk toward the area where I spotted the antelope herd the day before. Lee walks silently behind me as we move through the grass to the far side. It takes some time to reach the area since the herd has moved to fresher ground.

We find a group of rocks and crouch behind them to watch the herd. There are a few pregnant females but no young for us to hunt yet. Lee begins to fidget as I watch the movements of the animals, and I place my hand on his leg to still him. I point across the field toward a single female who has walked away from the herd. As we watch her, she approaches a large puddle of melted snow to drink.

I think it will be a good place to dig a pit trap, but we will have to wait until the herd moves away. I know Lee will be disappointed, but we won’t be able to start until nightfall. I decide to head back home to eat. We will return later.

Before I manage to stand up to go back to the cave, the herd begins to move toward us. I glance across the field just as several of the antelope begin to run away from the large puddle and the lone female. She raises her head, but before she has a chance to run, men appear with spears in their hands and surround her.

Lee makes a sound, and I quickly place my hand over his mouth to silence him.

I narrow my eyes to focus across the field and watch as the men close the gap around the animal. She panics and runs to try to get between them, but they stab at her with their spears, and she falls to the ground. A large man with dark, curly hair moves closer and plunges his spear into the animal’s neck.

I look to my son and wish he had stayed back at the cave. I don’t know how safe it is for him to be around unknown people. I would rather approach them alone to determine if they are friendly, but with the amount of time it would take me to return Lee to the cave, they could be gone.

Other men join the one who killed the antelope. There is a younger, light-haired man and another with dark hair like the first. All of them drop down to the ground near the beast and begin to strip the animal of its flesh.

I startle as my son grabs my arm. He points across the field, and I follow the direction with my eyes. Coming from the opposite end of the steppes is a group of women and children. One of the women is very tall—almost as tall as the men—with bright yellow hair, while another is small and dark. An older man and woman, also with light-colored hair, trail behind. Finally, a young, brown-haired woman brings up the rear of the group. Each of the women holds a small child in her arms.

My family needs a tribe.

Taking a deep breath, I stand and begin to move toward them. Lee steps up beside me, but when I glance back at him and narrow my eyes in warning, he moves to a safe distance behind me. I turn my attention back to the group as they congregate around the animal.

I walk slowly with my spear lowered but visible. As we close the distance, the older man in the back of the group turns toward me. I see him tilt his head to one side, and his expression is friendly. He takes a step to the side and smacks the large man’s shoulder with the back of his hand.

The group stops their work, and they all look toward us. The large, curly-haired man grins, and his eyes light up in greeting.

Finally, we find other people, and they are friendly.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

I had forgotten how much easier it is to prepare for winter with the help of a group.

It takes some time to find a cave large enough to hold all of us, but we do. Our new tribe had a home in the forest, much like where I grew up, but the spring rains destroyed it, and they needed a new place. The cave we find is on the opposite side of the lake near the cave Beh and I shared with Lah and Lee, and it is set up high in the rocks away from many dangers.

It’s not large, but it’s perfect for our small group. Peh is the oldest male. He and his mate, Met, live in the area farthest away from the entrance and drafts. Their son, Ehm, has children who are nearly grown, but no mate. I don’t know what happened to her. All of the children have the same, light brown eyes as Peh and Ehm and dark, curly hair.

Ehm and Peh are very impressed with Beh’s hide on a stick, and they use more hides and sticks to make additional carriers. With more people, we can bring down larger animals and carry them easily back to everyone else to skin the animals and prepare the meat in the safety of the cave.

My mate’s ideas are impressive though nothing impressed them more than the little round fire-maker.

When we first found our new home, we had no coals with us to start a new fire. Peh and Ehm began to get sticks and tinder together to start the long, difficult process of making a fire when Beh came over with a shy smile and started one with the round thing and a piece of flint. They were so impressed, they had her make another one and then show them how as well. Beh also taught the women how to make dishes from clay, and Met showed Beh how to dig a tunnel behind the fire, which makes it burn hotter. When they use the hotter fire to dry out the clay, it ends up stronger and less likely to break.

Though our tribe narrows their eyes at my mate and children when they start making a lot of bizarre noises, they have still accepted us. I think Beh’s valuable ideas helped with that a lot.

I walk around the large community fire to the section of the cave where my family lies down to sleep. It is not as warm and cozy as our little home was, and the mouth of the cave is almost as large as the entire cave. It is more of a deep depression in the side of a mountain than a proper cave, but it is just the right size for our growing tribe. We hang furs from long poles, wedged between rocks to keep the drafts away, and it’s easy to light a fire without having to worry about the smoke not being able to escape.

Peh and Beh seem to get along very well, especially after Beh notices he walks with a limp, and she finds a good, strong stick and shows him a way to use it to help him walk more easily.

I am very happy that there are more children for Lee and Lah to get to know. There are both girls and boys close to the same size, so they will be able to have mates when they are old enough.

Jeh and Feh have many children though the small baby Feh had been carrying when we first met was stillborn. She is pregnant again now, and that child should be born later in the fall. Beh and I only have two, but they have both lived long enough that I don’t worry too much. I still try to put another one in Beh every chance I get.

Lah races up to me and throws her arms around my waist. I hug her back and smile down at her as she makes incomprehensible sounds at me.

“Lah luffs!”

Her smile is so much like Beh’s, it makes me warm inside, even when the days are cold. She looks up at me, and the sunlight makes her eyes sparkle before she presses her cheek against my chest. I am amazed at how tall she has grown already. It seems every time I hug her she has grown more.

I shudder a little, thinking of how long we were without her, and I am glad we are now on the other side of the lake—away from the field where Dad came to steal her away. We still travel back to our little cave sometimes, usually to spend a little time away from the rest of the group or to dig for the mushrooms that grow near the ravine. Beh keeps her strange, black container full of even stranger things there, up on the shelf in the back. Though she carries the little rectangular flat thing full of images around with her, the other objects remain in the little cave we called home for so long.

Lah releases me and runs back to the community fire to help prepare the evening meal. Beh is rubbing the dirt off of some plants she dug out of the ground near the edge of the forest. There are large, bulbous tubers at the ends of them, which look a little like the wild onions she likes, but they are bigger and purple. She was excited when she found them and pointed out an image of the leaves from her flat thing to Lah and Lee. The three of them made a lot of noise back and forth before digging them up.

Beh cooks them in hot water for a long time, and when I taste them, they have a strange, sweet flavor. The rest of the tribe enjoys them as well. It’s good to have new things to eat, and no one gets sick from them.

I sit with my arm around my mate after we eat and watch the sun go down outside the cave. The nights are still quite warm, but I pull her back against me and relish the heat from her body. Lah and Lee sit with the other children by the firelight, trying to make sharp spears from long sticks and flint.

Tomorrow, Lee will go with me and the other men to kill a large animal. It will be the first time he has tried. I am both excited and wary because large animals can be dangerous, but if we can bring down two of the large aurochs that have been drinking at the lake over the past few days, we will have enough of both meat and hides for the winter.

My son will be a man.

I inhale the scent of Beh’s hair and nuzzle my nose against her neck. She takes the cue, and we slowly make our way to our furs, covering up with a large hide to give us a little privacy. I try not to moan too loudly as I enter her slowly. Beh arches her back, pushing her hips up against me as I grind into her. Her hands tangle in my hair as I tuck my head between her neck and shoulder. Her skin is salty and warm, and my heart beats faster to feel her so close to me again.

My Beh, my mate.

My fingers brush over her nipples softly, and I feel her tensing, trying to quiet her own cries as she comes undone around me. I press my mouth to her neck, nipping at her playfully as I increase my tempo and quickly fill her.

Rolling to my side, I hold her against me as our rapid breathing calms. Beh runs her hands through my hair, and I know what she is thinking; she will cut some of it off again soon. I smile against her skin.

She always takes care of me.

Running my nose up to her ear, I blow warm air against her skin until she wriggles against me and pushes me away a little. I raise myself up on one elbow to gaze down at her beautiful face. She is smiling up at me, and her cheeks turn red as I stare into her eyes.

So beautiful.

“Ehd?” she whispers softly, and I touch the end of her nose with mine.

Beh reaches to my hand on her hip and slowly brings it to her belly. Her eyes twinkle as she pushes my palm into her abdomen. I glance down and feel my smile grow.

I know I have finally succeeded in putting another baby in her.

My heart pounds in my chest, warming my insides as the fire warms my skin. Beh clutches at my hand—her nervousness obvious—as Lee walks around the fire and reaches out to take the hands of Jeh and Feh’s daughter, Ney. I see a tear form in my mate’s eye as Lee makes soft sounds in Nay’s ear just before he touches the end of his nose to hers. He runs the tip up the bridge of her nose to her forehead, and Nay smiles broadly as her cheeks tinge pink. She looks at him sideways as he makes another sound, her eyes narrowing a little, looking at his mouth.

I know how she feels about Lee’s sounds. Beh’s noises were so strange to me when I first met her. Still, Ney accepts Lee as he is, and I know he will provide for her and give her children.

Beh turns her face to my shoulder, trying to hide her tears. I don’t understand why she cries, but my mate cries at a lot of things that make no sense to me. Lah takes her mother’s other hand and squeezes it, too. I wonder how Beh will respond when Lah moves from our sleeping area to her own. I cannot decide yet which of the young men she favors—Mik or Ty—though I know Ehm would like our families to be joined. Of course, if Lah does not choose Ty, Ehm’s son, then we will still be tied together at some point in the future, when my youngest daughter, Kay, will be old enough to mate. There are only two boys of suitable age, and both are Ehm’s children.

Lee and Ney disappear into the darkest part of the back of the cave, and Ehm helps an aging Peh over to where Beh and I stand. Peh’s smile is reserved. He still grieves for Met, his mate who died in the winter, but he shows life in his eyes again. Watching him try to continue without Met makes me think it will not be long before he also lies down and doesn’t get up again.

I know if Beh dies before I do, I will not survive. At the same time, I hope that her eyes close forever before mine. Though I would join her directly afterwards, I know when I look at her what kind of pain she would feel if something were to happen to me. I do not want her to feel that pain—the pain of losing her mate.

As hard as it would be, I would rather feel it for her.

Jeh embraces me roughly, then lifts Beh into the air and spins her around. I reach out to steady Peh, who rolls his eyes at his son but still chuckles a little. Feh marches over and smacks Jeh’s arm until he puts Beh back down again, red faced and laughing.

I shift Fil, our youngest son, to my other arm. He’s really far too big to still be carrying, but I have allowed him to play the baby far beyond what I should. He is our last though. I knew we wouldn’t have any more soon after he was born…