"What?"
"I think... I think someone's trying to hurt me, and Papa."
"Who?"
"I..." She glances around fearfully, as if she's expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and bust us together. "I want to tell you more, but it's not safe here."
"I don't have time for this." I shake her hand off me. "You're just a kid and you seem very confused. Also, I–"
"Nicoletta!" We both raise our eyes to find an older man with salt-and-pepper hair standing by the stairs leading up to the mansion. "Get back here."
His expression is thunderous. Gustavo Carlucci seems pissed.
"I have to go," she whispers. "I'm sorry."
Confused by the entire encounter, I watch her walk up sheepishly to her papa. He scolds her before escorting her back inside the mansion. She doesn't look back once. After a few steps, they're joined by someone else.
It's another girl, probably the same age as Nicoletta. She has blonde hair too, although hers is paler, more cool-toned than Nicoletta's honeyed locks. She doesn't see me, but I instantly take notice of her. There's something about her, something that makes me unable to tear my gaze off her. I've had reactions to women before, but not like this, not for a kid. The fierce need to protect her takes me by surprise.
I have one rule in life: I always come first. I don't give a shit about anyone else. I'm the only person I can count on to take care of myself. But suddenly, I want to follow the other little blonde girl. Keep her safe. Make sure no one looks at her or touches her inappropriately.
Confused by my own emotions, I find myself following the trio inside the house. The girls hold hands – it seems like they're friends.
It's easy enough to slip inside unnoticed. I watch Gustavo lead the girls away. Once they're almost gone, Nicoletta turns around and catches me looking. But it's not her I'm staring at. It's her little friend who still hasn't even noticed me.
Nicoletta's lips form a thin line. She seems upset, disappointed, probably because she's not the center of attention like she's used to. But I only have eyes for her friend. A fierce need to make sure she's okay awakens inside me and I fight the urge to follow them again.
"Ryder, there you are." My brother Adrian pulls me over for a conversation with one of Father's business partners. Soon enough, he notices I'm distracted and barely following, and he excuses us from the small group of people that have gathered around us. He pulls me to the balcony while I crane my neck to see what happened to the blonde. "What's going on with you? You're not here, mentally, at all."
"Who's the blonde kid with Nicoletta Carlucci?" I ask, ignoring his questions.
"I have no idea," he shrugs, giving me a strange look. "Why are you asking after her?"
I don't answer, I just keep my eyes trained on the crowd, trying to catch another glimpse.
"She's a kid, Ryder," Adrian reminds me.
"You don't need to tell me. I just want to know who she is," I hiss. "I want her name. Now."
"Father won't like this."
"So what?" I grunt. "I just want to know her name."
"She's probably a maid or something," Adrian mutters. "Nobody for you to concern yourself with."
"I just –"
"Ryder," Adrian cuts me off with a dark glare. "Don't get yourself into more trouble. Do I need to remind you what happened last time?"
I swallow my reply. My brothers never bring this up. I glare at Adrian, fire burning in my eyes. "That was a mistake. And it's over."
"Yeah, it's over," Adrian hisses. "It’s over because we had to kill her. Because of what you told her. And I fucking hope for your sake, Ryder, that you learned your lesson."
I shut my eyes. I remember her. Livia, with her jet-black hair and brown eyes and tanned skin, with the full lips and the tight little waist. She's gone. Gone because of me.
"I did learn my lesson," I mutter, fighting my own emotions to get the words out. "I won't make the same mistake again."
"She was a liar and a cheat," Adrian says ruthlessly. "She deserved to die."
He pats my shoulder before someone calls him over. He throws me one last look before disappearing to talk to a business partner, Livia's name still hanging in the air between us and reminding me of the bitter fucking truth.
She didn't deserve to die, but she did anyway. And it's my fucking fault.
Livia filled me with lust, desire and possessiveness. All those emotions are so fucking different to what I felt with the blonde girl. But she's a kid. Of course they were fucking different. Besides, I can't let myself love again. Not when I know what happens to the people I love. Not when Livia's blood is still on my hands.