And yet, despite all my instincts telling me it's wrong, the next evening after taking a tour of the Carlucci estate, I'm standing on my terrace again, watching her balcony intently. And like clockwork, Nicoletta opens the French doors and comes out to her balcony. Silently, I step up onto the low wall and pass her the cigarette I'm already working on, and without saying a word, she takes a long drag of it.
Her eyes are on mine as she passes the cigarette back. I don't look away either, even though alarm bells are going off in my head and I know this is dangerous as fuck.
"I didn't see you today."
"Papa wanted me to stay in my room."
I narrow my eyes at her, "Why?"
She fidgets with the hem of her dress. The moonlight illuminates her, making her skin appear nearly translucent in the night. "He thought yesterday was too exciting, so I needed to cool off."
"I bet it was," I smirk. "Meeting your future husband and all."
Nicoletta doesn't reply, she just keeps picking at the edges of her dress. I watch her thoughtfully as I pass the cigarette back. She's so close to me here, we're separated only by the railing of her balcony. With little effort, I could climb up there. I take a second to imagine the pure fear in her eyes if I did that. She would be at my mercy. Would she fight back if I tried to touch her? Or would she welcome the forbidden lust with open hands?
"What are you thinking about?"
I raise my eyes to Nicoletta, wondering how much I can tell her without intimidating her. I don't think she's ready for the truth. It's too soon.
The painful reminder that she's still only seventeen makes me fist my hands. I can't risk this. She's engaged to be married to my brother. Father would kill me if he knew the thoughts going through my fucking head.
"Nothing you should concern yourself with," I mutter in place of my answer. "You shouldn't be smoking, you know. Your father will be able to tell."
"Just one more drag." She holds out her hand and I give her the cigarette through the railing. She takes a long drag, filling her lungs with the smoke. "Thank you."
She passes it back. I shouldn't relish the knowledge her mouth was just wrapped around the cigarette. I shouldn't imagine her mouth wrapped around my dick, either.
"Are you going to sleep now?" Nicoletta asks.
"Guess so." I take one last lungful of smoke and stub the cigarette out on the golden railing. It makes me feel better to mark something beautiful. "Night, principessa."
"Wait!" she says as I jump down from the wall.
The way she calls out for me is so sweet and desperate I force myself to obey. I turn my head over my shoulder, risking another look at the girl. "What is it?"
Nicoletta fidgets with the hem of her dress. "Do you want to stay a while and talk?"
Dio, I do want to. I want to spend hours uncovering the blonde's mind and familiarizing myself with every bit of her world until I know her better than the back of my hand. But I also know she's engaged to be married to my brother, and I have no claim to her, no right to give in to her request.
Wordlessly, I shake my head. I don't even look at her as I head back inside my room, locking up behind me.
I just broke her heart.
I had to.
* * *
The next morning, I join Gustavo Carlucci and his beautiful daughter for breakfast. My brother is there too, easily bantering with his fiancée. I don't want to admit it, but it makes my fucking blood boil. I hate seeing them together. I'll hate it even more when they do eventually tie the knot and she moves into the estate. My only consolation is I won't be far behind. Surely, Father will want to find a bride for me, too.
I end up stuffing my face and leaving the table abruptly. I can feel Gustavo's watchful gaze on my back as I leave the room. I don't want to deal with his questions, so I walk out of the house and into the gardens. I feel calm out here, with the sun warm on my face and the knowledge that Nicoletta is far away. Too far for me to hurt.
"Enjoying the view?"
I look up to find Gustavo Carlucci standing a few feet back. Swallowing a groan, I force a terse smile on my face and nod. "It's beautiful."
It's really fucking not, unless you're into overly primped and decorated places. Gustavo seems to have a thing for the theatrical. Everything he touches glistens and shines with gold.
"I can tell you've taken an interest in my daughter." Carlucci nears me and I pray to God he doesn't notice my shoulders tensing up. "I appreciate it very much."