My Life as a White Trash Zombie (White Trash Zombie 1)

“Marcus, it’s cool,” I said, grinning. “Look, dying was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

He visibly relaxed. “Okay. Yeah. Good. I mean, not good that you had to die, but, you know.”

“How long have you been one?” I asked. “I mean, Ed said the two of you had been friends since you were kids.” Then I scowled. “And yet he was still ready to kill you.”

He let out a soft sigh. “Yeah, Ed and I grew up together. About six years ago Ed and my uncle and I went out hunting, and we came across a family of raccoons. I was a dumbass and tried to catch one and got bit.”

I frowned. “I don’t get it. You became a zombie ’cause you got bit by a raccoon?”

A grim smile crossed his face. “No, I got rabies. Turns out that raccoons and bats are the big carriers of rabies in the U.S. And unless you get the shots within the first couple of days after a bite, it’s pretty much one hundred percent fatal. Once symptoms start appearing, it’s too late.”

“Rabies. Are you fucking serious?”

“Completely!”

I blinked. “Wow. I had no idea. That’s so weird. So, who turned you?”

“My Uncle Pietro. He felt responsible even though I was the dumbshit.” He gave a small smile. “One of his businesses is a funeral home down in Thibodeaux. He keeps me well-supplied with brains.”

“Wow,” I said again. I took a few seconds to digest everything he’d said. “There’s one thing I don’t understand.” Marcus looked at me expectantly, and I gave him my best suspicious look. “Why the hell was I naked when the ambulance showed up?”

“The blood,” he stated, completely seriously. “Your clothes were torn and covered in blood—both yours and the driver’s.” He surprised me then by giving an embarrassed wince. “I undressed you and, uh, dunked you in the bayou to get the blood off. Then took you as far away as I could so no one would connect you with the accident.” He grimaced. “It was stupid coincidence that I decided to ‘find’ you on the same road where a murder victim would be found at about the same time.”

“Oh.” That actually made sense. Of course that also meant that he’d not only seen me naked but had also had his hands all over me. Oh, hell. Now I needed a cold shower.

“We, uh, should probably get out of here,” I said, hoping he wouldn’t notice how suddenly flushed I was. “I don’t think Ed will be coming back any time soon, but there’s always the chance.”

Marcus nodded. “You’re right. There’s just one thing I want to do first.”

I suppose I should have seen it coming, but I was still completely taken by surprise when he slipped a hand to the back of my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. My surprise only lasted for about half a second though, and after that I was pretty cool with the whole thing. More than cool. To hell with the cold shower.

An eternity later we finally pulled apart, though his hand remained gently entwined in my hair.

“I’m hungry,” he murmured, smiling.

“Me too,” I replied. Somehow I knew that neither of us were talking about brains.

Chapter 37

Together we managed to get my Honda unstuck, but before we headed back to town we returned to where the four-wheelers were parked. We drove them both a good ways into the woods, then I stayed put while Marcus veered off down a trail. He returned on foot about ten minutes later and climbed onto the back of the one I was driving.

“Pushed it into the river,” he explained.

After that, we cleaned ourselves up as best we could. My shirt was inconveniently full of bullet holes and blood, but that was easily remedied since I still had all my worldly possessions in the trunk of my car. As soon as we were presentable, Marcus used my phone—since his had “somehow” lost its battery—to call the Sheriff’s Office to report that he and Ed had become separated in the woods, and that Ed was still missing. I wasn’t sure why he bothered to do that since I knew Ed was still alive, but Marcus merely gave me a grim smile.

“Gotta cover our asses. If Ed never shows up again it’s going to look really funny that I came back from our hunting trip without him and didn’t say anything. And if he does show up, then no harm no foul.”

I had a feeling there was more going on, but I didn’t really want to ask.

I drove Marcus home but didn’t make a move to get out of the car with him. He paused with his hand on the door and gave me a slightly puzzled look.

“Would you like to come in?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I replied. “But I gotta go deal with some stuff first.”

“Your dad.” It wasn’t a question, and I was relieved to see complete understanding in his eyes. “Will you come back by when you’re done?”

I smiled, relieved for a number of reasons. “You know it.”