The vials shimmered. Sparkles danced over them. Alluring. Mocking.
My last hope
of calm in a stupidly unfair universe.
The V12 is all I have left. Damn it. I’m not hurting anyone.
Pulse racing, I snatched up the vials and fled the office. I didn’t slow down until I reached my car and then only to fumble my keys into the ignition before I peeled out.
When I reached the little highway I dragged the wheel over and coasted to a stop on the shoulder. My chest was so tight I felt as if I was about to implode. Away from Dr. Nikas, away from the lab and the Tribe and the world I’d come to love, I let it out. My chest heaved, and my gut felt like it was turning inside out with sobs.
My phone beeped with a text message. Dr. Nikas. Come back.
Coherent thought returned in a panicked rush. Only one reason why he’d want me to come back. I twisted to scan the highway behind me. Even though the head honchos were out of town, there was always the chance that Dr. Nikas might send Tribe security after me. I couldn’t deal with that. Not until I had to. Tears blurred my vision as I pulled back onto the highway, but I drove another ten minutes before I turned onto a side road and parked. I grabbed a syringe and a vial and drew up a dose, then paused before sliding the needle under my skin.
“And you like the way it makes you feel.”
Dr. Nikas’s words took on a vicious edge as I mentally replayed them. I scowled, unsettled. He was off base there. Sure, it felt good, but I wasn’t an addict. I was nothing like the old Angel. And I could prove it. Jaw set, I squirted the dose back into the vial and continued on my way.
A mile later I stopped and clawed for the syringe.
“I’m not an addict,” I muttered. The mass of ants dug their marching feet into my skin. I slid the needle between their bodies and pushed the plunger.
A haggard blonde woman looked back at me from the rearview mirror. Sparkling tears slid down her face.
I dashed them away.
“I’m not.”
Chapter 7
The Kreeger River boat launch was my go-to sit and think spot, and I drove there in a numb, sparkly fog. No way could I be around anyone I knew. Couldn’t handle it, couldn’t risk that I’d see in their eyes, “We knew you were a loser. We were right all along. Who were you trying to kid?”
After I parked, I climbed out and sat on the hood. The boat launch didn’t always hold the best memories. I’d been attacked there by Philip and Saberton goons—back when Philip was undercover. It could be downright creepy at night, but the only darkness at the moment was my mood.
A low sun sparkled across the water, silhouetting a young couple kayaking side by side. A man with a battered pickup loaded a boat onto a trailer and drove off, streaming water across the gravel. Two preteen boys stood on the dock, trying in vain to skip rocks across the water. After a few minutes they climbed onto bicycles and raced off, leaving me alone in the lot.
Grief swelled, and I let it fill me and spill over. I’d loved working at the lab. Loved it. And it was my fault and no one else’s that I’d lost my place there. I’d been so cocky, full of excuses. Not an addict? Yeah, sure. Who are you trying to kid? And what about the Tribe? Was that gone as well? I didn’t want to think about how Marcus would react when he found out. So much for us remaining friends.
I stared out at the river until the agony faded to merely a horrible ache. Boats motored by, and three warning hoots from farther up the river signaled an opening bridge. A sweet scent rode the breeze to me, a contrast to the less pleasant smells of boat exhaust and dead fish. I glanced around for the source and spied a determined stand of bushes at the very back of the lot, exploding in tiny white flowers.
On impulse, I walked over and snapped off a sprig of blooms. A bee, legs heavy with pollen, alighted on one of the blossoms, and I watched as it burrowed into the flower to do its pollinating thing. It didn’t care whether or not the flowers were still attached to the bush. When it finally buzzed off in search of more gold treasure, I returned to my car, deep in thought.
My time with the Tribe didn’t have to be over. So what if I didn’t work at the lab anymore. I stuck the sprig in my cup holder, mustered a smile as the sweet odor filled the air. I was like that little worker bee, digging out useful info. I’d been damn useful to the Tribe over the past year, and if I continued then they’d pretty much have to keep me around, right?
Feeling a little better, I started my car and headed home. If Dr. Nikas decided to send security to pick me up, so be it. Until then, it felt good to have a plan, or at least a sense of direction. Enough shitty stuff. Tonight was movie night. Pierce needed eyes and ears around town, and I was going to have a nice time if it killed me.
• • •
My grand plans for a nice time free of shitty stuff hummed along up until the moment I walked into my house. There on the living room couch sat my dad, obviously waiting for me, with a Very Serious Expression on his face.
I stopped dead, door still open. “What’s wrong?”
He lifted his chin. “I got something I need to say, Angel.”
Not Angelkins. Angel. That was never a good sign. I shut the door. “Did someone die?” I asked then narrowed my gaze at him. Dark circles rimmed bloodshot eyes. He looked tired, sad. Fear squeezed my heart. “Are you sick?”
He shook his head. “I ain’t sick, and no one died that I know of.” He exhaled, and he seemed to deflate as the breath left him. “I didn’t sleep real good last night ’cause my mind kept racing and worrying.”