Secrets of the Demon (Kara Gillian 3)

I frowned. “Um, yeah. I know.” We’d had these conversations before about how the demons we summoned were not the evil demonic creatures of religious mythos.

“It applies in reverse as well.”

“Huh?” I scowled. I was too tired to sort through verbal games. “What are you talking about?”

“The demons are not demonic. The demonic are not demons.”

I bit back a whimper of frustration and slowly counted to five. “Aunt Tessa, I love you dearly, but you’re driving me batshit crazy at this moment.”

I heard her yawn. “I’m sorry. It’s not important right now. I’m going to go back to sleep, sweets. You’ll let me know when I can go back home?”

“Um, yeah,” I muttered, feeling off-balance again.

“You’re a good girl. I’m so proud of you. I’ll talk to you later.” And with that she disconnected.

I let my hand fall to my side and let out a low groan. She’s going to drive me absolutely crazy. Well, that much was back to normal.

I returned to the kitchen. At least Eilahn was no longer glaring at Ryan.

“Okay, I don’t have a car,” I said. “So, Ryan, you’re stuck driving me. Us.” I fought back a yawn. I wanted to go through the financial info again, but I knew that it wouldn’t help at this point. Showing that Vic had used Roger to participate in a little insider trading didn’t provide any proof that Ben Moran was responsible for the murders. I didn’t even have proof that he was the one who let slip the information about the sale of the bank. “But we need to relocate. I don’t know how safe it is to stay here.”

“If you were attacked here once, it could happen again, and with more force and preparation,” Eilahn pointed out.

“I think it’s time to take the fight to our opponent,” Ryan said, eyes narrowing.

“With what?” I said, frustration rising. “We have nothing. No proof. No probable cause for a warrant.”

“Fuck warrants,” he growled. “This asshole tried to kill you in your sleep. I don’t know about you, but that kinda pisses me off.”

I snorted softly. “Yeah, well, it didn’t exactly give me warm fuzzies.”

He stood up. “This has gone beyond what our legal system can deal with. Think about it, Kara. There’s no way we’ll ever be able to put together a case that could go to court. Ben Moran isn’t strong enough to crush someone’s spine, and we can’t exactly present his accomplice in trial.” He leaned forward and planted his hands on the table. “You said it yourself. We have no proof.”

My mouth felt dry. Ryan was voicing things I’d been reluctant to consider. “But then we’re nothing more than vigilantes, Ryan. And what are we supposed to do? Go kill Ben Moran?”

“If that’s what it takes to eliminate the threat, then yes.” He straightened, never taking his eyes from me. “He brought this on himself, Kara. If he hadn’t brought the fight to us by attacking you, then he probably would have gotten away with this.”

“But what if we’re wrong?” I said. I rubbed my arms, unsettled at the turn the conversation had taken. “What if he’s not the one doing this? Ryan, I couldn’t live with myself if we did something drastic and he wasn’t the bad guy.”

Frustration and anger swept across his face. “Then we’ll make sure we’re not wrong. We’ll get proof, or a confession, or whatever it takes. It won’t be anything we can take to court, but it’ll be enough to let us know we’re doing the right thing.”

I gave a shaky nod, but I still felt horribly conflicted, which, frankly, surprised me. I’d always kind of assumed that in a truly dire situation I’d be able to do the whole superhero thing and Do What Needed To Be Done—no matter what—to save the world. After all, I knew without a doubt that, as a police officer, I could pull the trigger in a life-or-death situation. I’d carefully examined that moral issue when I’d first entered law enforcement. But what Ryan was talking about was different—taking the fight to the bad guy and eliminating the threat in a preemptive strike. Crossing heavily into that grey area, and edging dangerously close to the darker edge, if not going over.

I guess I had more faith and support for our legal system than I ever imagined.

“I took an oath, Ryan,” I said, stomach oddly tight. “I’m supposed to uphold the law. Not commit ... murder.”

Ryan came around the table and took me by the shoulders. “Kara. I know this is tough for you. You’re a cop. I’m a cop. You’re passionate about your work and you believe in justice and what’s right. But this has gone beyond the laws of the mundane world. He’s using magic. And that’s how we have to fight back. You swore an oath to uphold the law, but that oath also includes protecting the public.”

I looked over at Eilahn, hoping for some sort of signal or advice or solution or something from her, but she was silent and still, watching us. This was my moral dilemma.

I could feel tears snaking down my cheeks, but I made no move to wipe them away. Why was this so hard for me?

Because I’m normal, I told myself. It shouldn’t be easy. Back when I was a road cop one of my teammates had revealed to me that he’d shot and killed a man in the line of duty when he’d worked for NOPD.

“It was a good shoot,” he’d told me. “The guy had a gun and woulda killed me. There was never any question that my actions weren’t justified.” He’d paused. “But it still ate me alive that I’d killed a man. I saw the counselor for a long time, and you know what? That’s the way it should be. It shouldn’t be easy to deal with killing someone, especially if you’re a cop. We do it when we have to, but if it doesn’t hurt, then you’re a sick fucker.”

And now I was being asked to take it to another level. I looked back at Ryan. “Have you ... ?”