For a moment I couldn’t breathe, shocked to my core as much by the casual delivery of the comment as the words themselves. Would he be this casual if they’d killed me? Gee, that’s too bad, but at least we’re all safer.
Pellini’s hands spasmed tight on the steering wheel. “You’d best turn your ass around and keep your mouth shut for a little while, son,” he ordered. Idris opened his mouth to respond, but I found my voice first.
“Did you just say . . .” My voice shook so much I had trouble getting the words out. I shoved to sit more upright and tried again. “Did you just say it’s fine and cool that I’ve lost my arcane ability because it’s safer?”
He scowled. “Sure. For now. You’re not a player anymore.” His tone was patronizing, as if I was an emotional idiot to be so worked up instead of seeing the bigger picture. “You won’t be a target, and they can’t use you. It buys us a little breathing room.” He finished with a there-you-go shrug that sent my fury spiraling higher.
“You arrogant, unfeeling asshole!” I sputtered. “Would you say the same thing if I’d been blinded? Because that’s what it feels like. That’s what it is!”
“Blinded?” he said, incredulous. “Give me a break, Kara. It’s not the same thing at all. I get that it sucks, but at least some good comes of it.”
Gravel crunched under the tires as Pellini pulled the truck onto the shoulder and threw it into park, but I barely heard it over the hammering of my pulse. “And it’s cool that you still have all your skills,” I said through ragged, uneven breaths, “because you’re so perfect and untouched and uninfluenced?”
“I never said I was perfect,” Idris retorted, face flushed, “but I’ve been cleared by Mzatal and Elofir.”
Agonizing rage tore at my essence. “Cleared?” I let out a harsh sound—more sob than laugh. Loss and betrayal goaded me on. “You’re hauling around more influence than everyone in this truck put together considering Rhyzkahl’s your dad!”
Idris gave me a withering look. “That’s the best insult you can come back with?”
“Enough of this bullshit!” Pellini snapped. “I’m taking Kara home.” He leveled a black glare at Idris. “You either shut up or get out and walk.”
But my reply spewed out. “We’re cousins,” I snarled at Idris. “I have the DNA results to prove it. My aunt was manipulated to think her baby was stillborn. But he wasn’t. He arrived after she spent time in the demon realm. With Rhyzkahl.”
Silence descended. Idris glared at me, a heartbreaking range of emotions galloping through his eyes. After several tense seconds he flung open the door, climbed out and slammed it, then strode off down the highway shoulder.
Pellini muttered a stream of obscenities under his breath and killed the engine. “My goddamn truck better be here when I get back,” he said then pulled himself out and started after Idris.
Two seconds later I opened my door and vomited onto the gravel, dry heaving when nothing more came up. After a moment the nausea faded, and my rage drained away with it, leaving me empty and cold. My cheeks were wet, but I d
idn’t know when I’d started crying. Nice going, Kara.
Shaking, I pushed myself upright and closed the door. I made a tentative mental reach for Mzatal but pulled back when I felt nothing. I didn’t have it in me to extend and try again. Not now. Couldn’t face that possible loss yet.
I abruptly realized Eilahn had gone silent and unmoving, and a fresh wave of misery settled over me. Had she known about Rhyzkahl and Idris? I found it difficult to believe she had, not that it mattered at this point. I wouldn’t blame her one bit for being furious at me for blurting that out. Even if she wasn’t, I was angry and upset enough at myself for both of us. “Eilahn?” I said tentatively. “Are you okay?”
“I am well, Kara Gillian,” she replied, voice steady and without the faintest hint of anger. She was disturbed, though. I’d known her long enough to recognize how unease manifested in her human form. A faint crease between her eyebrows. Her lower lip jutting out ever so slightly. No. She hadn’t known.
I lowered the window, suddenly desperate for air or a breeze or maybe a tornado that could suck me up and away from all of this. A few seconds later Eilahn lowered the window on her side, though her forehead remained creased.
A breeze drifted through, bringing an earthy aroma of grass and moss and pine that clashed with the stench of hot asphalt. The buzz of cicadas mingled with the rat-tat-tat of a woodpecker, and in the distance a hawk screamed. I dropped my head back against the seat and tried to chill, but I couldn’t stop reaching mentally for something that wasn’t there. I also couldn’t stop trying to figure out where we went wrong. How had Katashi been so certain we’d show up? Yes, we’d followed clues, but none of them were glaringly obvious. In fact, if we hadn’t listened to that phone call, we never would’ve . . .
Shit. We’d gobbled up their lures like hens on corn. Angus McDunn had worked with Bryce for fifteen years. He knew how thorough Bryce was, and he’d been confident Bryce would find the “dropped” piece of paper that led us to the horse farm and Catherine McDunn.
My mouth tightened as I replayed the conversation in my head. It had all been an act. If she hadn’t dropped the info about the calls from Angus, we wouldn’t have heard “number six” and known where and when to walk into the trap. Yeah, she was good. I couldn’t wait to have another nice chat with her—as soon as I stopped feeling like pounded shit.
“That was fucked up how Kara dropped that on you.” Pellini’s voice, barely audible and only because the breeze was right. I peered ahead and saw Idris sitting on the grass ten or so yards in front of the truck, head in his hands and elbows on his knees. Pellini sat crosslegged a half dozen feet from him. I slumped down a little so I could still see, but not be quite so obvious I was watching them. I was already an asshole for using personal information about Idris as a weapon. No need to add to it by flagrantly invading the privacy he needed right now.
“It can’t be true,” Idris said after a moment, voice unsteady.
“Well, so what if it is?” Pellini replied with a shrug. I knew I should close the window and stop being an intrusive jerk, but I didn’t.
A motorcycle zoomed past, covering Idris’s reply. “Look,” Pellini said, “one thing you do know is that you have a fuckload more potential than you ever imagined.”
“I guess so. If it’s true.” A pause, followed by an incredulous, “The demonic lords have children?”
I snuck a quick glance at Eilahn. I suspected she’d been surprised by that detail as well. Note to self: don’t ever let anyone entrust you with a really sensitive secret ever again. Dumbass.
Pellini blew out a breath. “I’ve known Kara a long time. She can be a stone cold bitch when pushed too far, but I’ve never seen her lie or throw out something that big without knowing for sure.”