Dear Moon, he's sweet, Vivian thought in anguish. A swift pang hit her gut, and she bit the inside of her cheek, hoping the pain would keep her sane. Not sweet like that, she screamed silently, staring with panicked eyes at his round firm thighs.
After the wine came two glasses wrapped in a bandanna, then a chunk of cheese, a plastic knife, and some paper napkins left over from Christmas.
"Classy, huh?" Aiden's eyes glittered with delight.
She licked her lips nervously. "Lovely. You brought dinner," she heard herself say. She wanted to bolt for the woods. You fool, she thought. You shouldn't have come.
She glanced at the moon. It was still behind the trees, its light mercifully broken by foliage so that she and Aiden were covered by mottled shadow. Could he see any change in her? Aiden was cutting slices of cheese onto the bandanna, babbling away. He didn't seem to notice anything wrong.
She experienced a dizzying surge of pain and pleasure and her face twitched. Her hands flew to her ears and felt them push past her fingers. She hastily pulled her hair around her face.
How do I make him go? she thought as her joints began to pop.
"Here you go." He held a slice of cheese to her mouth and it was all she could do not to take his fingers off. The cheese was sharp and ripe and clung to her tongue. She sluiced it down with the glass of wine he offered.
"Hey, silly, you're supposed to sip," he said. "I don't want you doing something you'll regret later." His eyes suggested otherwise.
Her lips raised into what she hoped was a smile; then she turned away swiftly. How were her teeth?
He moved closer and put an arm around her. "You pick a funny time to go shy on me," he said.
Her shoulders shook with silent laughter at her stupidity. How could she think she could be intimate with a human? She detected an undeniable rippling up her spine, and a hardness came to her eyes and the corners of her mouth. She tested a new idea. So what if I hurt him?
"Vivian?" Aiden whispered. His breath was light on her cheek, fragrant with the warm wine and cheese.
It was a stupid thought. She doubled over and moaned. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"What's wrong?" Aiden asked, surprise and concern in his voice.
"I think I'm coming down with the flu," she said. What a brainstorm. "Maybe you should go. I don't want you to catch it."
"But someone should look after you if you're ill."
"I'd rather be alone," she insisted through clenched teeth.
Still he didn't move to go.
"What's wrong with you, boy?" she cried. "Do you like watching people throw up?"
His eyes widened.
She felt like a jerk. She changed her tone. "Please. I'll be embarrassed if you stay."
"But - "
A spasm ripped through her and the bones in her knees crunched. "Go! Please go!" she yelled, and scrambled for the window like a drunk, her legs refusing to obey. "I'm going to be sick."
She dove onto her bed, rolled to the floor, and spidered out of the room on knuckles and toes. She reached the bathroom at the end of the hall and slammed the door behind her. She shot the bolt home.
Outside the window the swollen moon leered at her over the tops of the trees.
She shuddered with pain, and tears outlined her downy face. She had never known a time when she hadn't wanted the change, hadn't enjoyed the change, but now she was nauseated from holding it back. He couldn't see her like this. She couldn't betray her people.
There was a gentle tapping on the bathroom door. "Are you all right? "
She tried to say Yea, I am, but her jaw was wrong for speaking and the words came out a muffled growl. Why was he making this beautiful gift seem dirty?
"Well, if you're sure you'll be okay ..."