Freaks: Alive, on the Inside!

“You’ve had your fun,” I said as I stood before them. “Now hand over those clothes.” I tried to smile. Papa said that joining in the joke sometimes helped in dealing with bad situations.

“What? You care to dress before you flee?” asked the dark-haired one.

“Yes sir,” said his companion. “He wouldn’t want to run away like a yellow c

oward while in the altogether, would he?”

“Naw, he’d rather run away like a yellow coward fully dressed,” said Dark Hair, “but that don’t matter to the little fellow. He carries his suit with him.”

Crooked Teeth grinned. “Yeah, a monkey suit.”

Well, you could call Apollo a dog all you wanted and he’d simply wag his imaginary tale, but call him a monkey …

Apollo shot by me and landed on Crooked Teeth, sinking his fangs into the culprit’s shoulder. The youth proceeded to howl and flail, for the dog boy wouldn’t be budged.

The dark-haired boy yelled and picked up a sturdy branch. He raised it, ready to strike my young friend. I had to hit him. My blow to his shoulder made him drop the stick, all right, but only so he could commence beating on me with his fists. I was sure my opponent’s pugilistic moves were not in the rule book, especially when he laid a mighty kick on my shins that left me hopping. I landed one blow to his three and, rules aside, was pleased to note that my “cheap Gypsy jewelry” did some noticeable damage. But as I reeled from an uppercut to the jaw, Apollo’s opponent recovered sufficiently to punch the dog boy in the gut. Apollo fell gasping to the ground, and his bitten foe swung a boot back for a kick I couldn’t allow.

I ducked under a sockdolager aimed at my head and ran for my fallen friend. I grabbed his arm and dragged him aside, and the boot caught air, throwing its owner off balance. The crooked-toothed boy toppled into his charging partner. They tangled and fell.

“Run!” I cried as I yanked Apollo to his feet.

We crashed through the undergrowth back to the path. If we reached the gate, we would be safe. I heaved a gasp of relief when I saw the road, then it dawned on me. The evening audience would be arriving. We couldn’t make a scene. “We have to go in the back way,” I cried. I jerked Apollo to a halt by his scruff and plunged back into the woods, pushing him ahead of me. I prayed the way would be clear, because the jeers behind us told me we were not safe yet.

We thrust through vines, jumped bushes, and wove in and out of the trees. I tried to ignore the stabs to my feet and the branches that whipped my flanks. My calves stung with bramble scratches. Finally we came panting to the wall.

“Quick,” I said, and bent over as the enemy burst through the bushes behind us, favoring them with a seldom-seen view of my rear.

Apollo leaped on my back. He scrambled to my shoulders as I straightened, then hoisted himself to the top of the wall. I clambered up after him, using the rough stones as handholds and toeholds. Apollo helped me straddle the peak.

The townies stood below shaking their fists, but they dared not follow.

“You wait, freaks,” yelled the dark-haired boy. “Well catch you.”

His taunt set a fire of anger alight in me. “I’m not a freak,” I almost yelled, then choked the words back. How would that make Apollo feel? It would sound as though I thought I was better than he.

“Come on,” I said to Apollo. “We’ve got to get out of sight.”

Apollo waved a rude gesture in the direction of the town boys before he leaped into the kitchen garden. I followed him down into the neat rows of squash.

“You were marvelous,” Apollo cried, jumping up and down with excitement. “The way you tackled both of them together.”

“I might not have had to if you hadn’t bitten that lad,” I complained in hushed tones. “Keep your voice down. Do you want to be discovered like this?”

Apollo gazed at me blankly. Embarrassment was not in his vocabulary.

“Let me put it this way, then,” I said. “Would you like to scare a lady and be beaten by your papa for it?”

“Oh!” he said, light dawning.

I caught the glitter of fear in his eyes. My words had more than a shadow of truth to them, I guessed. “Just be cautious,” I told Apollo. “If we can get back to our quarters without being spotted, all will be well.”

A giggle from behind the pea trellis crushed my hopes. Apollo yelped and grabbed my arm.

Out from the vines swaggered Archie Crum. Behind him a kitchen maid rose to her feet. She stood taller than the dwarf by a foot and a half, as tall as the trellis, in fact. Although I was surprised to see Archie in the kitchen garden, I was not surprised to see him with a woman. Archie had a knack with the ladies. She peeked through her fingers at us, then covered her eyes again, which I thought hypocritical, considering what she had recently been up to.

Apollo let go my arm. “Archie! We’ve had an adventure.”

“My, my, my,” said Archie Crum. “Working on a new act, are you? Let me guess—the Flying Birthday Suit Boys?”