Freaks: Alive, on the Inside!

Her words sent my blood surging.

She laughed again, softer and with more affection. “I take my strength from your hand and the ring. The more you touch me, the more I come alive.”

I yearned to touch her but feared if someone saw, they would sense my desire and be disgusted. Even I found it hard to admit what I felt about someone referred to recently as the “beef jerky lady,” but despite her sallow flesh, I kept on seeing glimpses of the beautiful dancer of my dreams, and my whole being reached out to her.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Mr. Bopp in one of the stalls, curled up like a pill bug, feigning sleep. He drowned in deep gloom, I knew. Apollo was already rounding the children up for a rehearsal. His facial hair bristled in a frown as they danced around him and refused to be hushed. Miss Lightfoot and Mr. Ginger talked by the wagon.

I reached over and brushed Tauseret’s lips with my fingers. She sighed, and the rise and fall of her chest quite distracted me. I stroked her cheek, and she closed her eyes. I touched the one hand that lay free of her wrappings, and it grew less leathery. My heart beat faster. My hand caressed her shoulder, and warmth rose through the cloth. What had been bony became soft and round. With a tearing purr the ancient linen ripped apart at the juncture of her armpits as her chest filled out. My hand slowly followed my eyes, and my mouth dried. She did not complain or try to stop me. How could she? She was bound. This both appalled and excited me. I snatched my hand away.

Her eyes opened and her mouth pouted. “Don’t stop.”

“I must,” I said. The words came out as a squeak. “There’s work to be done.” How could this seem right and not right all at the same time?

“Don’t neglect me,” she begged. “Come touch me often, that I might become a real woman again.”

“You have no need to worry about that,” I promised before I left her side. I felt sure I could manage to get over my embarrassment with practice.

“Are you well?” asked Miss Lightfoot as I passed. “You look quite flushed.”

“Just a mite warm in here,” I said, tugging at my collar.

Mr. Ginger and I set up as painters, with Moses as our assistant. I encouraged Apollo to continue with the other children. I couldn’t begin to think of how I’d wash paint out of his tawny pelt, and I knew he would splash it all over himself if I allowed him to help.

I put my ring in a pocket to keep it safe from paint, but after a while I slipped it on again and went to see Tauseret. I couldn’t keep away. Her existence was too amazing. She greeted me with open eyes and a smile. I marveled at the way she changed even more as I touched her.

“Lillie’s taking a nap,” Tauseret told me, “at the temple of love.”

Mrs. Delaney’s bawdy house, I interpreted. “How can you know?”

“She touched the ring, did she not?” said Tauseret. “I was able to control her then, and that gives me a path back to her.”

Tauseret seemed so sure of herself.

“I asked her to send help, but she laughed at me,” Tauseret said.

“You were just a silly dream to her,” I answered, allowing myself to accept Tauseret at her word.

“Perhaps, but I told her where to find money for a journey. That bully lost his purse behind the butter jars when you hit him.”

I chuckled. That would serve him right if it was true.

“The tiny woman at your home recognized me, however. I met her early this morning. Ah, that woman has powers.”

“Miss Dibble!” I exclaimed. “She touched the ring when she told my fortune.”

“Your colonel is looking for you,” said Tauseret. “Miss Dibble will send him a message by wires.” She looked puzzled by this.

The colonel might be on his way? My spirits soared. “He must have guessed I’d try that circus,” I told Tauseret. I wanted this to be true so much that I pushed all doubts aside. “He probably looked up their schedule and went after them. I expect he keeps in touch with home, though. He has a business to run.” My words caught in my throat, and I hung my head. What a nuisance I had been. What a fool. I cou

ld add expensive telegraph messages to my debt, perhaps even telephone calls. “Well, thanks for helping,” I mumbled, and then realized I didn’t sound thankful at all. I glanced up and smiled awkwardly at her, in case she thought I didn’t appreciate her efforts.

“Is she awake?” Moses asked when I came back, and I nodded.

“Watch that can,” Mr. Ginger told him, and gave me an odd look.

Moses tugged my sleeve. “Can I go talk to her too?”

I glanced over at the water trough. The children and Apollo were gathered around it, all reaching in. Perhaps they thought their touches helped too. I hoped she was amused.