Lost in Time (Blue Bloods 6)

Julius looked at her curiously. “We’ll be late, miss.” But what bride was ever on time for her bonding?

And if there was ever a time to hear what Ben needed to say, it was now. After tonight it would be too late. “Sure.” She kicked off her high heels and changed into a pair of flip-flops she kept in the foyer.

They walked a few blocks down to Riverside Park, and walked by the water. The leaves were starting to turn. It would be winter soon, cold. Their shoes crunched in the leaves. Her dress made a rustling noise in the grass. In an hour, she would be bonded to Charles.

Allegra spoke first. “What are you doing here?”

“I didn’t get married,” he said.

“Hmm,” she said, not knowing quite what to think, and somehow not surprised. When she saw him at the stoop, her heart had taken a grand leap, and she knew instantly that this was what he was going to say. Somehow, even though she believed this part of her life was over and the danger had passed, it was as if someone kept opening the book to the same page—someone was insisting that she and Ben see each other again. Who was that someone? Was it her? Was it him? Why was it suddenly so easy to forget about the carefully orches-trated plans for her bonding day? She was supposed to get in the car now. In a few minutes she was supposed to be standing in the temple.

Charles would be standing at the altar in his tuxedo. Their guests would be arranged around them, holding candles. They would say the words to each other. She had already moved her belongings to the town house that morning—a careful ritual they still practiced from the ancient Egyptian world, back when a bonding was signified by the wife bringing her things to her husband’s home and there was no need for ceremony.

How sensible they’d been then, truly.

And yet, in a whisper, in a flash, she had tossed the plans to the wind, had agreed to take a walk with Ben. Perhaps they should have been superstitious after all. Perhaps it had been bad luck this morning—for Charles to see her.

Or maybe it was good luck—since why on earth was Ben here, now, at such an inopportune time? If he had come tomorrow, she would not have recognized him. Or if he had come yesterday, she might have had more time to think it over before acting—time to come to reason and gather her wits. But the time was now. There was no time to waste, no time to think. There was only the drumbeat of her heart. She was in her bonding dress. She had lavender twined into her hair.

Ben found a bench and motioned for her to sit with him.

“I couldn’t tell you back then because I didn’t think it mattered. But it matters now. Renny was pregnant. Or she thought she was.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t know. I’m not really sure. It sounds like she was never pregnant in the first place. She only believed she was.

mother thinks that she was trying to marry the boss’s son.

mother always thinks that of every girl I date.” Ben si

ghed. “I was going to go through with the wedding anyway. What did it matter if she was pregnant or not…. I loved her.”

Allegra nodded. It was hard to hear him declare his love for another girl, but she had seen it herself that evening at the Redwood bar—his gentle way with Renny, the obvious affection between them.

His leaned back against the bench and pulled off his scarf, twisting it in his hands. “In the end… I couldn’t do it. I called it off. I realized I had to follow my own happiness, which is why I’m here now.” He turned to her, and his eyes were the brightest and clearest blue she had ever seen.

“Ben… don’t say anything you don’t mean,” she warned.

“You’ve just gone through a crisis. It’s not an easy thing to break up with someone you were going to marry.” She should know, she thought. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“That’s just the thing, though,” he said. “I know what I want now. And it’s what I always wanted. I just didn’t think I could get it.”

Allegra began to panic. This was not what she wanted—she was wearing the oils, the swords had been blessed, the rings collected from the safe. “You’re making things complicated, and I want us to be friends. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

“Hear me out, please, Legs,” he said.

She nodded, her heart pounding. She should leave right now—she could not stay here and listen to this—it would only complicate things. But instead of thinking of the guests at the temple, or the orderly procession of events that were now slowly going haywire, she wanted, so badly, to hear what Bendix had to say.

“That night when you walked back into my life… I could never forget you. It stirred up so much in me….” he said, his hands making circling motions above his chest.

“Ben. I can’t. I told you…” Allegra’s voice rose, strangled by emotion. “I told you I can’t.”

“I know what you are, and I love you. I want you. I don’t care that you’re… not human.” He could not bring himself to say the word.

She shook her head. “It’s more than that. It’s so much more than that.” She bowed her head. “There’s something you need to know.”

She told him the vision she had seen the first time they had been together, the first time she drank his blood. She told him about their baby, and then seeing herself comatose on the bed, and her certainty that if they were together it meant that he would die, that her love for him would mean his death, that being together would mean the end of him somehow.