"So what did you think of Momzilla?" ELIZA
asked when they were back in their rooms.
"Problema. Women like that at my store. Meu deus. Never satisfied," Jacqui prophesied.
"How do you know them?" Mara asked.
"Long story." Eliza shrugged. What business was it of theirs? "My dad went to college with Kevin. He called asking if I was available for the summer. I'm only doing this as a favor. I know these kids. Absolute terrors. My advice? Stay as far away from them as possible."
Well, that isn't really practical, Mara thought, since we were hired to take care of them.
"Anna's a total witch, too. She's his second wife. Cody--the three-year-old--is the only one that's hers. The others are Brigitte's. She was crazy. Anna was Kevin's personal assistant. She was having an affair with him for years," Eliza said as she checked herself out in the mirror. White halter top, sequin-embellished
55
miniskirt, white sandals with satin ties that laced up the calf-- yes, that would work for tonight. Jacqui pulled on a pair of lowwaisted jeans and a tube top. Mara changed out of her stinky poly-blend blouse for a T-shirt, shorts, and sneakers.
Second wife. Stepkids. Personal assistants. Affairs. It was too much for Mara. Had she walked into some whacked-out soap opera? She was still wondering how she was going to heat Madison's food to only "100 degrees Fahrenheit so as not to spoil its natural essence."
At sunset the three walked toward the pool, where the smell of gasoline hung heavy in the air. Packs of hamburger meat, hot dogs, and sesame buns were stacked next to an open, smoking grill. Finding no one around, the three girls sat around the table, which had been set for dinner with a white linen tablecloth, sterling silver cutlery, and porcelain plates.
"She said seven, right?" Eliza asked.
"Yeah," Mara said, feeling a little apprehensive. Something was wrong here.
Jacqui got up. "Where do you think the wine is?" she asked, poking in the Igloo cooler she found near the pots of citronella candles.
Suddenly all four kids burst through the screen door, clamoring for food.
"Something smells," William said, wrinkling his nose at the smoking fire pit.
"Is something burning?" Madison asked.
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"I'm hungry," Zoe said.
"Me too," Eliza replied. What was going on? Where were the eats?
"Camille always made me a double cheeseburger," Madison said. "With lots of onions and pickles," she added hopefully. "Who's Camille?" Mara asked.
"She was here three days ago," Madison said, playing with her napkin. "But she did a bad thing and had to go away."
Just then Anna wafted by, humming to herself. She was wearing a grass skirt over her bikini and had put an orchid in her hair (which was still showing the slight aftereffects of William's water attack). "The invitation said Hula Couture," she said with a laugh, walking out to the patio. "Isn't this fun? I got Michael Kors to sew it up for me."
Kevin followed, wearing a formal tuxedo jacket over his Hawaiian shirt.
"Is everyone having a lovely time?" Anna asked.
"No!" William roared. "There's nothing to eat!"
"We're hungry!" Madison whined.
"What?" Anna said, walking over to investigate. She found the
three au pairs sitting at the table in front of empty plates. "Why isn't anything ready? I distinctly remembered informing you we were having a barbecue tonight."
"Oh!" Mara said.