The Daughter In Law

“No.” That threw him for sure.

“What do you mean no?”

“I mean that I have a dog in this fight and I mean for him to win. Now either we do this together or I do my own thing, because your track record where she’s concerned isn’t that good, and quite frankly I’m not sure I trust you to see through her shit. Trust me, if it took you this long to glimpse her strain of bat-shit cray-cray, you really have no idea what you’re dealing with.” He folded his arms and sat back.

“Okay so tell me, exactly what is your big idea of how to deal with her?”

“I’m of two schools of thought on that one. One, either let Tommy handle it and tap her one in the back of the head while she’s sleeping, or total non contact.”

“Since murder is illegal I’m working on your last suggestion, but your involvement is going to keep setting me back because you think like a female, all emotion and irrationality.”

“Bite me asshole, you’re not the one she terrorized for a year, I want to get some of mine back and you’re gonna let me or there’ll be no anal sex in this house for years to come.” He swallowed hard at that one but I knew I hadn’t won the battle yet.

“I’m pretty sure you know that I’d take that shit so that’s an empty threat, not to mention you like it too so you’re full of shit. And the answer is still no.”

“I ought to nut punch you.”

“What, why?”

“Because you’re being a Class A jerk right now. I understand you wanting to handle hagfish on your own and all, but what you’re not understanding is that I will not be happy unless I get my pound of flesh. Which I will get with or without you.”

“So what you’re saying is that after I’ve asked you as your husband to let me handle this situation, you will go behind my back and do as you please.” I didn’t too much like the way he said that, or the way he was glaring at me.

“I wouldn’t exactly put it that way.” Now I was squirming in my seat.

“I just don’t want you sweeping this shit-uation under the rug because you fell for one of her sob stories or one of her fauxpologies.” That really was my biggest fear, that she’d somehow get to him when I wasn’t there; and how can I be there if he was shutting me out of the operation? He didn’t say anything for the longest and I was beginning to wonder what the hell was going through his head.

“Vanessa do you doubt that I love you?”

“No, I don’t know.”

“What kind of answer is that? Either you do or you don’t.”

“It’s not that, I just think you like her more than you do me.” That last was said in a whisper because when spoken out loud it sounded kind of cray-cray.

“What? come ‘ere.” He pulled me out of my seat and into his lap.

“Baby that’s crazy, the love I have for you is not the same as the love I have for her.”

“But I don’t want you to like her anymore after she’s been so mean to me.” I sounded like a whiny brat but I didn’t care. Let him blame it on hormones like he’s been doing everything else. He kissed my temple and hugged me close.

“It doesn’t work that way baby. I’m very angry at her for the things she did to you, but to just stop loving her after years of her caring for me isn’t that easy. I understand where you’re coming from, you want my loyalty and you’ve got it. I told you I get it didn’t I? I didn’t doubt your word about anything did I?”

“No you didn’t.”

“And I told you that you and pin comes first right? so let that be enough for now. There’ll be time enough for you to learn what’s going on, just not right now.”

I tried to accept that even though it didn’t sit too well with me, but he sounded so sincere, like he really had his finger on the pulse of things. Maybe I was being unreasonable and should just let him handle it like he said. I just hoped he really knew what he was dealing with. One of my issues was that he really didn’t know this monster; he only had second hand knowledge of her evil, having never experienced it himself.