"Nothing," Jacqui said.
"Are you comfortable?" Kit asked.
Jacqui nodded. She'd never felt more at home.
277
a bathrobe never
looked so good
MARA FELT BAD FOR RYAN. HE LOOKED SO SAD, JUST
standing there, dripping wet in the kitchen, a pack of Rice-A-Roni in his hand.
"Listen, you don't have to say anything," she said. The thought broke her heart, but if Ryan and Eliza were happy together, then she would just have to find a way to be happy for them.
"I don't?" he asked, confused.
"I know you and Eliza are together now, and it's . . . fine. I just want you guys to be happy . . ." she said, her voice trailing.
Ryan shuffled and put down the cardboard box. "But that's what I'm telling you--I'm not with Eliza. Eliza and I . . . we're just friends," he said, stepping toward her. "We're good friends, but that's all."
"You're not? With Eliza? But ... I don't understand," Mara said, taking a step closer to him. Then she saw that his lips were a little purple. "Oh God, you're freezing," she said, before Ryan could say anything else.
278
"But I want to tell you something," Ryan said, dripping fat, wet rain droplets on the floor.
"Okay, but you need to get out of those wet clothes first," she said, "Come on."
"I am c-cold," he said, shivering. "Come with me?" he said as he began stripping off his outer clothes on the way to his room. When they arrived at the top of the stairs, Mara saw that a maid had already started a fire in the fireplace next to his bed. Ryan stood next to it and started looking a little less blue.
"Here," she said, holding a fluffy white towel from the bathroom. "You need to get dry, or you'll catch the flu or something."
"Mara, wait--we need to talk," Ryan said, rubbing the towel against his neck. His T-shirt was drenched. "Do you mind?" he asked, tugging at the shirt.
"Um, oh, no," Mara said, turning around. "Go ahead, I won't look."
Ryan laughed. "No, I mean, will you help me?"
Mara lost all her self-consciousness as she helped him out of his soaked clothes. He stripped off his wet jeans, and Mara handed him his bathrobe. He looked so handsome, so tan against the terry cloth, so nearly naked. . . .
"So, Mara ... I just wanted to tell you . . ." he said awkwardly. "I mean, this is kind of hard to say."
"Yes?" Mara looked at him hopefully.
"It's just that, well, this summer, you know, I . . . just . . . I just . . ." He shook his head and looked grimly into the flames.
279
"I missed you this summer, you know," he finally said. He exhaled. "I guess I missed--I miss-- the old Mara."
"I do too," Mara said, her throat tightening as she sat down on the side of his bed, deflated. The old Mara. The Mara before the earring scandal, the Garrett Reynolds debacle, the Perry sisters' nick name. She
didn't know who the old Mara was anymore. She certainly wasn't just some small-town girl from Sturbridge anymore, but she wasn't a Hamptons swan, either.
"Ryan, I feel awful. I've been terrible. I just... I just. . ." Her eyes filled with tears, and when they fell, she couldn't stop them. "I just got carried away, and all I wanted was to be with you. I don't even know why I was with Garrett all the time. I just wanted to make you jealous."