looking to get lost
LATER THAT NIGHT, THE THREE WEB SITE HONCHOS INVITED
Jacqui to a party they were throwing at the castle to celebrate their latest triumph--their stock had split and they were now worth double what they used to be. The guys had outdone themselves: the house was packed with glamorous revelers, there were three different full cocktail bars set up in the patio with massive "Shocker" ice sculptures, and the Killers were scheduled to play a set in the ballroom.
Jacqui rang the doorbell, but not even the promise of a fun night of partying could make her feel better just then. It was too late. Kevin had made good on his promise, had filed papers and sent an assistant to the Hamptons to bring his things back to their town house in the city. He had been gone for two weeks.
Anna had asked Jacqui to keep it a secret from the kids. She didn't want to upset them, and she wanted some time to ponder what she was going to do now. "Don't worry, I'll think of something," Anna had told her.
But for the most part, Anna didn't seem to be doing anything to save her marriage. Instead, she hit the boutiques with a vengeance. Not a day went by that Anna didn't come home loaded
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with shopping bags. When the kids asked Jacqui why their dad was never home, she had to lie and tell them he was away on business. The atmosphere in the house was becoming strained, with Anna locking herself in her room for hours and then coming out red-eyed and sniffing and the children demanding to see their father.
Thank God for the three guys--their fun-loving antics made her forget all of her problems. It was obvious all t
hree of them were attracted to her, and it was entertaining to watch them jockey for the key position, but since the three of them shadowed her constantly, she didn't know which one of the three was the boy who made her heart skip faster.
She rang the bell again, impatient to get inside and grab a drink to drown her sorrows.
The door opened, and Ben Defever stood in the doorway. His good-looking face broke into a sweet smile when he saw her, but his forehead soon creased in concern. "What's wrong?" he asked, noticing her agitation.
"It's nothing--oh, Ben," Jacqui said in a wretched tone.
"Onion," he said "let's go somewhere quiet, where we can talk."
Jacqui nodded, and they slipped through the crowd to the back staircase. Ben put a light hand on her back as he led her up to the top floor of the house. His room was in the northern end.
She sat on the edge of his bed and put her head in her hands.
"Now, tell me what's bothering you," Ben said, handing her a glass of sangria.
"I just can't take it anymore," she said mournfully, thinking
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about the Perrys' impending divorce and her fifth-year issues. She took a long gulp from the glass and looked around, as if the answer to all her problems could be found nearby. His room was unexpectedly neat for a boy's, spartan and immaculate, with nary a dirty sock or a wet towel in sight. A few guitars were stacked against the wall.
"Boss trouble?" Ben asked.
Jacqui turned to him with a wan smile. "Yeah, kind of. It's a lot of pressure working for them. And there's only so much one person can do, you know? But they expect me to do everything. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person keeping that family together, and it's not even my family. Merda."
Ben nodded sympathetically. "I know. It sucks. I feel the same way--not about my family, but about the business. The site was my idea and I write a lot of it, on top of overseeing the marketing stuff, and I can't bring myself to delegate. I get kind of burnt out sometimes."
"Me too."
"But it'll get better. You just need to take a second to breathe." Ben took a deep breath and exhaled. "Just let it in, then push it out."
Jacqui followed his lead. For a few minutes, the room was quiet except for the sound of their breathing exercises. "You're right--it does help."
"Anytime you ever need to talk, you can come to me, you know," he said shyly.
"You're so sweet," Jacqui said, impulsively putting her arms
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around him. She put her face in the warm cotton of his shirt and felt his heart beat through the fabric. It was just nice to be next to someone. Ben was such a great guy--he really understood her feelings. He held her for a while and then cleared his throat. He looked at her hesitantly, as if he'd just realized she was clinging to him.