Sun-kissed (The Au Pairs 3)

"I'm sorry," Mara said helplessly.

"I would never hold you back, you know. All you had to say was that you didn't want to be at Dartmouth, and I would have understood. I just thought you did, so I made all those plans--I wish you'd believe that I only want the best for you," he said softly.

"I know that now. Oh, Ryan, I messed up so many things," Mara cried. It broke her heart to know how much she'd doubted him all summer, thinking that he wasn't supportive of her ambitions and that he felt resentful of her career, when all along, he'd had the best intentions at heart.

"So what happens now?" Ryan ventured. "With the two of us?"

"We break up," Mara said bravely. She'd given it a lot of thought, lying alone in the V-berth by herself the night before.

302

She'd started out the summer so nervous about her writing skills, intimidated by her boss and her subjects, but now she was confident she could make it as a journalist. At the very least, she wanted to try. Plus, she truly doubted whether she and Ryan really belonged together. Maybe he would be better off with a girl who could share his love of the ocean, not one who wanted to spend the evening in front of a keyboard. She very much hoped she was the girl for him, but she also didn't want to make him miserable, the two of them trying to bend so far back to accommodate each other that they lost sight of who they really were.

Ryan exhaled. "Is that what you want?"

Mara sighed. If you loved somebody, you had to set them free. If they were meant to be together, they would be together, no matter where they ended up. Maybe it would be a year or two years or maybe even after they graduated from college. Someday, she hoped they would find their way back to each other. But she had to take that chance, she had to risk it, for both of their sakes.

"Yeah. I think we need to grow up a little. Both of us."

"I love you," Ryan said, squeezing her hand tightly. "I'll always love you."

"I love you too," Mara said back.

They kissed, and it was a heavenly, soul-searching kiss. It was just like their first kiss on the hammock, but so much deeper, because it was bittersweet.

They went back to the boat to have one last great night together as a couple. And the next day, they would leave as individuals.

303

a door is closed, but a new window opens

THE TWO LONG BEEPS OUTSIDE THE DRIVEWAY SIGNALED

that Eliza had arrived. Jacqui quickly packed up her bags in the au pair cottage. The boys had offered her a ride to the city on the Black Hawk, but she'd declined, wanting to spend a few more hours with her friends. She felt a little wistful that none of the boys had worked out as a boyfriend, but she was eager to go back to New York and everything it offered. In a city of eight million people--there had to be one boy who was right for her. She was certain of it.

Shannon was zipping up her carryall, stuffed with the clothes she'd bought on numerous shopping trips with the older girls.

"Thanks for all the help this summer," Jacqui said, offering her a hand.

Shannon shook it. "No problem. It was fun," she said with a wicked smile. "Is it always like this in the Hamptons?"

Jacqui laughed and thought about it. "Pretty much."

"So, I'll see you in the city? And don't worry about me staying with you. Madison said I could stay at their town house when I

304

come to visit. No offense, but I heard their place has a lap pool in the basement."

That girl was too much, Jacqui thought, smiling.

Eliza was in the driver's seat, leaning on the horn. She had her hair in a high ponytail, and she was wearing Jeremy's work jacket. It made her feel close to him. The two of them had spent the night at his apartment, and he was planning to come visit her in the city before she had to go off to college. Since he had his own company now, he would come up whenever he could, and she'd promised to come down every month. They were going to make it work. He was her one true love, and she wouldn't let go of him. She had broken the news to her parents the night before. She was going to defer a year at Princeton and apply to Parsons instead. She was serious about becoming a fashion designer, and she wanted to see where this path would take her. All her life she had lived up to someone else's expectations, but she wanted to see what would happen when she tried to live up to her own. Her parents had not taken the news lightly, and they still hoped she would come around--hence the compromise of deferring a year.

Mara was sitting in the shotgun seat, leafing through the final issue of Hamptons magazine. Her column had been a huge success, and for its last installment, Sam had approved a six-page exclusive on the designer whose name was on everyone's fall shopping list-- Eliza Thompson. The magazine had a double scoop as well--after

305

the dismal failure of his fall fashion show, Sydney Minx was out of business, and the designer had announced he was going to retire to his French villa. As for Paige McGinley, Eliza had heard that the former high-handed assistant had been reduced to working the counter at Saks, where she could use her skills at flattery to sell women expensive clothing they didn't need.