He seemed very far away. Distant and watchful and displeased.
“I’ve judged my parents’ loveless marriage more harshly than it deserves, I think,” she said pensively, reevaluating something she’d only ever seen as coldly practical and lacking in personal regard. “There’s value in a dedicated partnership where you can trust in the other and lean on their strength. You can become more than the sum of the parts. That’s a relationship worth pursuing, I think.”
He snorted, incredibly intimidating as he drilled her with his unwavering gaze. “You’re still willing to marry me?”
Her heart leaped in alarm. He wanted to back out? Because he’d achieved acceptance? He didn’t want her after all?
“Knowing what a black sheep bastard I am?” he continued.
“Don’t,” she murmured, recoiling at the depth of angry hurt that coated his tone.
“How are you going to balance that out?” He sounded both appalled and tortured. “How will you compensate for it? You can’t. And they may yet force it to light, Pia.”
“I don’t know how I’ll react.” She curled her fingers into the edge of the sheet, her toes into the mattress. “But it won’t change my commitment to you and our marriage. Not if we’re both faithful and sincerely trying to make a life together.”
He didn’t seem particularly appeased. His jaw pulsed as he ground his teeth, his brooding gaze cast into the middle distance.
“We don’t have to discuss any of this unless it becomes necessary.” It was a cowardly avoidance of a hard subject, but she was terrified that the tentative bond they’d formed was disintegrating. It wasn’t strong enough to withstand hard examination.
His cheek ticked and he nodded once, jerkily, and went to dress.
She slipped into the shower. She could have invited him to join her and wished she had, but she didn’t know how to extend herself that way. It felt weak to want to touch him when they’d just been physically close.
She was afraid of rejection—that was the real issue. It didn’t help that Angelo remained withdrawn and she didn’t know how to bridge that gap.
At least their New Year’s Eve appearance clinched their position as the couple to support. Acceptances to their wedding poured in.
Pia couldn’t say she was relieved exactly, but for the sake of everyone involved she was thankful they had overcome whatever hurdle Angelo’s brothers had posed.
Which freed her up to panic about the new life upon which she was embarking.
Angelo had spent the last weeks making inroads into the society that should have been his by birthright. Now she would take her place next to him on his turf, a global stage focused on the technology sector. She would have to become what she had always felt would make her a square peg in a round hole—the wife of a powerful man.
Angelo willingly stayed in her home in Valencia while they rode out these turbulent weeks into their shotgun wedding, but after their honeymoon in Australia, he intended to take her to America until her third trimester reduced her ability to travel. They would return to Spain until the baby was born, after which he expected they would divide their time between a handful of his preferred homes.
Along with learning the ropes of motherhood, which Pia looked forward to, she would continue decorating his arm and joining him at networking events. She would have to begin entertaining. Host functions.
So even though Angelo frowned with concern when she reported the final number was nine hundred and fifty guests, and said, “It’s only one day,” she knew it wasn’t. It was a daunting lifetime of feeling isolated in a crowd.
“What have you done in the past to cope?” he asked, seeing something in her expression that made him set aside the tablet he was working on.
“Mostly I ran away,” she joked, trying to dismiss her character deficiency even though he wasn’t teasing or mocking her for it.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, they were legitimate field studies, but I might have left early for them.” She looked at her nails. “Or stayed longer than strictly necessary. Or collected data for other researchers.”
For the first time in days, he seemed to relax as he tilted a look at her that was both empathetic and indulgent. “Would you feel more comfortable holding a clipboard than a bouquet? Because I’m open to it.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I’ll try imagining it while I’m walking down the aisle. Maybe it will help.”
“What have you decided with regards to research?” He pulled his earbuds out completely and left them atop his tablet, giving her his full attention. That always disconcerted her, but made her insides squirm today when she was trying to hide how disheartened she felt at the life she faced.
“I don’t know that I’ll have time to pursue any.” She set aside her own tablet and the calendar that was being synced to his. Eaten up and overwhelmed.
“Because of the baby?”
“And your work. I’m looking at all these events you have scheduled and now your assistant is asking if I want to take an active role in some of your charities. That’s the sort of thing my mother always did and—”