Held her there. He looked into her face; his, the austere planes wet, his hair plastered to his head, had never looked harsher. “I have no idea what”—he gestured wildly—“idiot notion you’ve taken into your head, but I have never considered you my mistress. I have always— since the first time I saw you—thought of you as my future wife!”
“Indeed?” She opened her eyes wide.
“Yes, indeed! I’ve shown you every courtesy, every consideration.” He stepped close, actively intimidating; she quelled an instinctive urge to step back. “I’ve openly protected you, not just through the investigation, not only via your household and mine, but socially, too. As God is my witness I have never treated you other than as my future wife. I’ve never even thought of you as anything else!”
Male aggression radiated from him. Uncowed, she held his black gaze. “That’s quite amazing news. A pity you didn’t think to inform me earlier—”
“Of course I didn’t say anyth
ing earlier!” The bellow was swallowed by the night. He locked his eyes on hers.
“Just refresh my memory,” he snarled. “What was the basis of Ruskin’s attempt to blackmail you?”
She blinked, recalled, refocused on his face—read the truth blazoned there.
“I didn’t want you agreeing to be my wife through any damned sense of gratitude.” Tony growled the words; sensing her momentary weakness, he pounced. Lowering his head so they were eye to eye, he pointed a finger at her nose. “I waited—and waited—forced myself to wait to ask so you wouldn’t feel pressured!”
Panic of a kind he’d never before known clawed at his gut; anger and a largely impotent rage swirled through him; an odd hurt lurked beneath all. He’d thought he’d done the right thing—all the right things—yet fate, untrustworthy jade, had still managed to trip him up. Yet the truth was slowly seeping into his brain—he wasn’t going to lose her. He just had to find a way through the morass fickle fate had set at his feet.
He scowled at her. “Regardless of what I did or didn’t say, or why, what the devil did you think the last weeks have been about?” He stepped closer, deliberately crowding her. “What sort of man do you think I am?”
“A nobleman.” Alicia refused to budge an inch; elevating her chin, she met him eye to eye. “And men of your class often take mistresses, as all the world knows. Are you going to tell me you’ve never had one?”
A muscle leapt in his jaw. “You are not my mistress!”
The words resonated between them. Slowly, she raised her brows.
He dragged in a breath. Easing back, he released his tight grip on her arm, plowed his hand through his hair, pushing sodden strands from his eyes. “Damn it—the whole bloody ton knows how I see you—as my wife!”
“So I’ve been given to understand. The entire ton, all my acquaintances—even my brothers!—know you intend marrying me. The only person in the entire world who hasn’t been informed is me!” She narrowed her eyes at him, then more quietly stated, “I haven’t even been asked if I’m willing.”
Precisely enunciated, the words gave him pause. He held her gaze for a long moment, then, also more quietly, said, “I told you I loved you.” His eyes suddenly widened. “You do understand French?”
“Enough for that, but I didn’t catch much else. You speak very rapidly.”
“But I said the words, and you understood.” His voice gained in strength. “It was you who never returned the sentiment.”
She lost her temper. “Yes, I did! Just not in words.” She could feel the heat in her cheeks, refused to let it distract her. “Don’t tell me you didn’t understand.” She gave him a second to do so; when his face only hardened, she jabbed a finger into his chest. “And as for saying the words, believing as I did that I was your mistress, such a confession would have been entirely unwise.”
She realized the implicit admission, sensed by the flare of heat in his gaze that he hadn’t missed it.
Lifting her chin, she continued, determined to have all clear between them, “It’s all very well to say you love me, but many men doubtless think they love their mistresses, and tell them so—how could I tell what you meant by the words?”
For a long moment, he held her gaze, then he gestured, as if brushing the point aside. In the same movement, he reached for her; grasping her elbows, holding her steady, face to face, he locked his eyes with hers. “I need to know—do you love me?”
The question, the look in his eyes, went straight to her heart.
She closed her eyes, then opened them and searched his. The rain was cascading down, the night was wild and black about them, yet he was totally focused on her, as she was on him. She drew breath, shakily said, “In my world, love between a man and a woman usually means marriage. In yours, that isn’t necessarily so. You said one word, but not the other. You knew my background—knew I wasn’t up to snuff. I couldn’t tell what you meant, but…that didn’t make any difference to how I felt about you.”
He studied her for a long moment, then released her, stepped close, framed her face with his hands. He looked down into her eyes. “Je t’aime.” The words resonated with a conviction impossible to doubt. “I love you.” He held her gaze. “I want no other woman, not for a day, not for a night—only you. And I want you forever. I want to marry you. I want you in my house, in my bed—you already reside in my heart. You are my soul. Please…”He paused, still holding her gaze, then more softly continued, “Will you marry me?”
He didn’t wait for her answer, but touched his lips to hers. “I never wanted you as my mistress. I only ever wanted you in one role—as my wife.”
Another subtle kiss had her closing her eyes, swallowing to get her words out. “Do you think you could see me as the mother of your children?”
He drew back and met her eyes, his expression faintly quizzical. When she said nothing more, he replied, “That’s understood.”
“Good.” She cleared her throat. “In that case…”