Her heart lurched as that steady gaze pried into her soul in a way she’d never experienced.
He searched her face but still said nothing.
When the silence made her feel as if her very chest might burst, she blurted up at him in complete exasperation, “Well, say something. I just agreed to be your wife.”
He swung away and kept walking. Only faster.
“Thornton?” she called.
Still walking at a fast, rigid pace, he tossed out over his broad shoulder, “I decline your offer and ask we never return to the subject again.”
She gasped and scurried after him in an effort to keep up. “I just asked you to marry me!”
He headed straight for the double doors leading to the main corridor of the foyer beyond the ballroom. “Such flippant submission is not the sort of relationship I want, Magdalene. Which is why I am declining your offer.”
“But I…” Her breath hitched. He was throwing out a saber and expecting her to parry back. “All right.” She hurried after him. “What sort of relationship did you want?”
“Don’t insult me. If you don’t know the sort of relationship I want out of you, and have no expectations for yourself, then damn you, woman, you don’t have what I want.”
“Oh, dearest God. And I thought I had insecurities.”
He came to halt just within the opening of the ballroom. Turning, he caught her gaze. “I didn’t have any insecurities until I met you. Anne left me wounded, yes. But you, Magdalene, you up and left me for dead when I laid my very self in your hands. You expect me to forgive that? With the mere toss of a marriage proposal from your lips? I want more than that. ’Tis obvious, however, that you don’t have more than that, or you would have already offered it to me.”
Now that hurt. And yes, she did deserve it for submitting to her fears as opposed to trusting the last man who would ever seek to hurt her. She drew in a shaky breath and let it out, making her way toward him. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t know how to go about this then, and I’m sorry I don’t know how to go about this now.”
He adjusted his coat around his frame with a solid tug, avoiding her gaze. “Four years. Four years of me waiting for you to—” He bared his teeth.
Her throat tightened. She’d been hurting him all along without knowing it.
“I spent years trying to prove my worth to Anne only to find it was never good enough. I don’t deserve this. I don’t. Not from you, not from anyone.”
He was referring to his wife. A woman who had given him everything but her love. “Thornton—”
“Good night.” Without deigning her a glance, he disappeared, leaving her to wonder how her life had ever become so complicated. Her chest ached miserably. It was clearly up to her to salvage whatever was left between them. And she was frightened out of her wits knowing it. She’d forgotten what it was like to be involved with a man in that way. But drat it all, if Charles could take on the world and his dreams, risking it all in the name of love, so could she.
* * *
WOMEN.
Stalking down the corridor, Mark made his way into the main section of the house, toward the entrance hall. That front door sure as hell wasn’t where it needed to be.
“Thornton,” Magdalene called after him.
“For God’s sake, don?
?t say anything. Don’t.” He refused to settle for anything less than her heart, and it was something, goddamn her, she hadn’t even bothered to offer him throughout her merry charade of tossing out the concept of matrimony.
The heels of her slippers click-click-clicked as she trotted alongside him. She reached out and tapped the side of his arm. “Life is full of surprises, isn’t it? Whoever thought my son would marry the daughter of a chemist? And whoever thought that you and I would ever find each other attractive? I would have gagged if you had told me any of this when we first met.”
Bloody brilliant. Now she was being downright insulting. “I have to get back to the girls.” He yanked open the entrance door.
She jumped in front of him, causing him to skid to a halt.
“Thornton.” Angling herself better between him and the entrance, she slowly closed the door leading to Park Lane and latched it. She hesitated. “I’m sorry. It’s been so long since I even wanted to be involved with a man in that way. In truth, what happened between us that afternoon paralyzed me. I thought I knew how I felt about men and…you. But I didn’t. Obviously. I mean, I did know how I felt about you all along, I just… Stupid as it was, I thought you were giving in to a fancy. All you need know, though, is this—I cannot imagine living my life without you after having met you. And that is why I not only want to be your wife but need to be your wife. Because you are, and have always been, more than a friend to me. You are my everything and I have loved you, Thornton, for as many years as you claim to have loved me. My heart tamped it all down but it was there. So in that, our suffering has been the same. We both suffered, loving each other in silence out of fear it wasn’t real. When in fact…it was.”
A raw heat tightened his entire body as he stared down at her astounded. All this time. All this time and she— “Why the devil didn’t you tell me? Magdalene, why didn’t you—”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she tossed right back, throwing up both hands and rattling them. “I wasn’t sure what it was I was feeling, but you… All I needed and wanted to know was that it was love you felt, not—not…lust that can fade within a breath. Attraction is one thing, drat you, but love is quite another! Adam gave me more than enough lust and passion and angst to last me a lifetime. What I wanted and needed is love, damn you. Love!”