A bitch?
“Don’t tell her,” I snap. “You can’t, Carter. I was stupid to come here…I don’t know why, other than I just wanted to see you.”
He looks over at me. “I wanted to see you.”
Warmth rushes my body, chasing away all the cold uncertainty.
“Who was that back there?” I ask. “Why were you fighting?”
“Sully.” He says his name with disdain. “Some douchebag from my old school. He was… He used to go out with Addison. He said some dumb shit, that’s all.”
Addison again. This girl is starting to be trouble, as I knew she would be. I inhale a deep breath to fill my lungs, then release it slowly. I could reprimand him like a counselor, or a teacher or grossly, a parent. But the moment my lips met his, the dynamic of our relationship changed.
“I should tel
l you not to fight,” I say, taking a right onto my street.
“But you won’t?” he says, hedging. “Because it makes you hot, doesn’t it?”
I shake my head, a smile playing at my lips. I park my car in the driveway and angle toward him. Taking his hand in mine, I run my thumb over his bruised knuckles. Then I kiss the damaged skin.
“We’re a secret, Carter,” I say, my voice low, solemn. “We have to stay that way. Drawing any kind of negative attention… We just can’t do that.” I meet his eyes. “Plus, you can’t throw your future away over some douchebag.” I smile at him.
He leans across the console and touches my face. “I told you I’d do anything you ask.”
I bite my lip. Then: “Don’t fight, Carter. Walk away. Always walk away.”
He acknowledges my heartfelt request by clasping the back of my neck and drawing me to him. He kisses me tenderly, and I breathe him in. He smells like smoke and ocean and everything I’ve come to know as comfort.
I knew we had a connection the moment I read his file. Attempted murder, it stated. Carter had almost been convicted, and I, too, had been blamed for a crime. We’re the same, he and I. Carter and I are birds of a dark and twisted feather.
And that terrifies me.
One of us needs to stay rooted in reality, to be aware of what’s coming. The only constant we can depend on is change; nothing stays the same forever, and there are forces that want to tear us apart.
Carter is a fighter. But, no matter how hard you fight, sometimes, the universe changes course, altering everything we thought we knew—and there’s no fight strong enough to control fate.
11
Entropy
Ellis
According to the definition, entropy is a gradual decline into disorder.
The key word of the meaning is gradual. Anything that happens gradually should be predictable, expected, as you can see it coming toward you slowly, like a slow-progressing storm. Unfortunately, the slower the storm, the more time it has to build, the more catastrophic the damage.
There’s a storm brewing over Black Mountain Academy.
I first notice the shift in wind when I spot Sue in the faculty lounge Monday morning. She doesn’t look ill—actually, she looks better than she did before. Her cheeks are rosy from broken capillaries, most likely due to straining while she was hunkered over a toilet. But the color does her pasty flesh some good.
She’s purposely trying to avoid me; her eyes dart away every time I try to make eye contact. I send her a bright smile, and she hastily clutches her coffee mug and heads out of the lounge. I shrug internally, thankful that, whatever epiphany her sickness may have given her, she’s learned to mind her own damn business when it comes to me.
The rest of the day slogs on as usual. I counsel students on college, stress level, academics. Thankfully, there’s been no word about Carter’s fight at Alister’s other than a few tame rumors. The usual high school gossip.
I should feel alleviated, but I can’t shake this dark, looming feeling. Like I forgot to turn a burner off at home, and some disaster awaits me the moment I let my guard down.
I keep my focus on the task at hand, so by the end of the day, I’ve successfully brushed the wariness aside and grab my satchel to leave.