I’m still here. Still alive.
My vision blurs, but I still spot the shiny silver knife as it’s brought to my face…
Then the crush of my lungs caving in darkens the world.
Help. Help. Help me! My mind continues to plea as I fade away.
Ellis: Now
I stare at the white scars on my palm, the wind whipping my hair across my face. A massive gust snatches the air from my lungs, and I gasp, the fear of reliving that nightmare made all too real.
It is real. It happened, Lanie.
I squeeze my eyes closed and will Dr. Leighton out of my head. But her words ring true.
“Help me! Oh, God…”
Addison’s voice breaks through the haze of my mind, and I look across the pass. She’s hanging onto the ledge of the ridge, seconds away from losing her grasp.
This moment is so clear; what I have to do has never been more pronounced, and I hunch down along the rock path and crawl toward her. “Give me your hand.”
I extend my hand out to her, offering her the chance to grab hold of me. Hesitancy laces her wide, tearstained eyes, but as she glances down at the fall that awaits her, Addison curses and latches on to my forearm.
It’s an impossible task to pull her up, but I don’t let go. I hold on to her arm as she clings to mine. “You have to release the rock, Addison,” I tell her. “You have to climb over me.”
She shakes her head, terrified. “I’ll fall.”
“I won’t let you fall. I promise.” And I’m relieved to realize that I mean those words.
Again, her unwillingness to trust me costs her precious seconds. Her grip starts to slip… She uses the shelf of the ridge as leverage as she loses her hold on the rock. Her hand grasps at my back, and she finally finds purchase on my upper arm.
I grit my teeth, trying to ignore the piercing pain that feels like my shoulder is about to dislocate. Finally, Addison begins to haul herself upward. She crawls over me, making her way back onto the narrow pass.
Breathless, I lay here, my chest on fire. My skin burns from the cold wind and where Addison used me as a ladder. I don’t notice the danger until it’s too late.
I feel the moment the knife is pulled from my backside.
Betrayal is a hot flame searing my chest as I turn my head to look at Addison.
“Sorry,” she says, her voice trembling, face dirt-smeared and eyes gleaming wild. “But I just can’t trust you, you psychotic bitch.”
She stab
s the knife into my thigh. My body lights up, every numbed nerve comes alive with pain. I grab hold of the hilt, my hand shaking, and curse as I yank the blade free.
Not wise…
I’ve been left for dead before—and in spite of those who wish it, I survived. If I bleed to death up here, I think as I get to my knees, I’m making sure I take that bitch with me.
Addison starts to ease backward along the pass, her eyes trained on me and the knife in my hand. When she gets far enough away that she feels safe, she turns around, and a blast of wind knocks her off-balance.
I see the moment it happens. I drop the knife as I reach out for her, as if I can prevent her fall, but it’s over quickly. Addison is gone. Her hollow scream follows her down the dark chasm.
I stare down into the darkness of the ravine, my body cemented to the rock.
Did you try to save her, or did you let her fall?
I banish the thought immediately. Of course, I tried to save her. I’m not a monster.