A jolt of awareness rushes me. I glance around the parking lot. It’s early…vacant, but— Colton arrests my senses before I can object, expertly working my underwear aside.
“Don’t tell me no,” he says as the rough pads of his fingers slip into my sensitive folds. He finds my center and pushes inside, releasing a groan at the feel of my slick arousal for him. “This is what you need—what I need. I’ll never deny you. It’s not selfish, goddess. Not when we’re designed differently.”
I grip his hair, undulating my hips on top of him as he shamelessly brings me to the edge. His thumb swirls over my clit as I grind against him, the feel of his erection, his desire for me, making me bold.
I attempt to check the parking lot, but he seizes my gaze, his grip in my hair forcefully commanding my face toward his. “Look at me. Not them. Don’t be afraid of who you really are, goddess. We play by different rules. Always above them, because we embrace our dark deeds. Never denying ourselves. Not anymore.”
His mouth captures the band of rope around my wrist, his teeth tightening the cord until it bites into my skin. The coarse fibers graze my flesh, heightening every sensation. My eyes close as I slip into ecstasy.
A soft moan escapes my lips as I break and he’s there to catch it, his mouth swallowing my release as he drinks me in.
As I come down, the climax fading into ripples of pleasure skittering over my skin, I open my eyes. “I’m terrified,” I admit.
The knot of his throat bobs on a hard swallow. “You’re not leaving me. I promise you that.”
“And I’m not losing you,” I say, letting the desperation leak from my voice.
His eyes narrow. “Never.”
“Then you have to trust me to do what I have to in order to help Avery.”
Another heavy breath, then, “We’ll talk about this later, when Quinn can back me up on how crazy this is and that it’s not ever happening. I can at least count on him for that.” His firm expression morphs into confusion. “Wait. What did you say before? That it wouldn’t have been the first time… What aren’t you telling me?”
My lips part, my mouth dry—the words right on the tip of my tongue. Colton has bared his soul to me, has trusted me with his darkest secret. A secret that would destroy his life if it were ever revealed. It’s the kind of secret that would shatter any other two people—but not us.
It binds us together. Makes us the same—if only just.
But that’s the distinction. The very narrow disparity that casts him in light, and keeps me shrouded by darkness. The crucial variable that separates us.
What he did in his past was out of love, compassion, and mercy. My choices…my actions…were purely executed out of revenge. Loathing. Despair. Colton deserves to know the truth of me, but God, I’m terrified. So fucking terrified to stand before him with complete transparency.
“Goddess…” His fingers rove over my face, his eyes seeking a crack in my armor.
“Not here,” I finally say. Taking a deep breath, I revel in his touch a moment longer. I know he’ll wait for me—but there is an expiration date. And it’s approaching fast. “I need to be focused on Avery right now. But I promise…”
“I’m patient, Sadie. As long as it takes.” Then his lips are on mine, slowly and tenderly caressing my fears away. I cling to him, to that promise. I cling so hard I can taste the loss in his kiss. What I will lose when the time comes. A deep pang hollows out my chest as the truth of it crushes me.
I can’t lose this. I only just found him.
A swell of blaring sirens breaks us apart, and I whip around to see squad cars rushing past. “We have to go. Quinn’s gathering the task force.”
* * *
The mood inside the department is fragile. Tension suffocates the air, strangling the camaraderie. Where a strike against one of our own should band us together, creating a unified, unstoppable force, there’s a looming current of suspicion that threatens to unravel the department.
The UNSUB could be one of us.
It seethes in the looks I get as I hurry through the bullpen. It festers in the chaos crippling an otherwise structured task force. I understand why I’m being targeted; I’ve been barred from the case, and now I’m pushing my way through with a suspect at my side. Not only did I get Colton released from questioning, but I’m including him—an outsider—in the investigation.
When all this is over, I’ll be reprimanded. Maybe even discharged and investigated myself. There’s a chance—a very likely chance—that I’ll be found guilty of obstruction…or worse. But none of that matters just as long as I can bring Avery back.
As I turn the corner toward my office, I spot Quinn. His eyes widen a second before he’s gunning for me. It feels like this morning has lasted a week already. As if it’s been much longer than the hour it’s taken to get Quinn up to speed on Avery’s situation and for Colton and me to reach the station.
Quinn hands off a document to a uniform and steps in my path. “My office. Now.” His attention is momentarily diverted toward Colton. “You—” He points toward a chair. “Sit and go nowhere.”
“We don’t have time for this shit, Quinn,” I say, trying and failing to get around his sizable form. “We can do this however you want…but later. Avery is all that matters right now.”
I look up into his rugged face, my eyes pleading. I don’t have the strength to be angry, or demanding. I will beg on Avery’s behalf. Quinn’s gaze softens, and I can see the misery and worry he’s suffered since the news of Avery’s abduction hit.