Still, every single fragmented piece spins on a loop inside my head. A vicious, never ending circle, like a debilitating OCD trigger that will never be satisfied.
I still feel the press of Sadie’s concerned, lingering look she gave me when Quinn dropped the rest of our team off at their cars in the Lark and Gannet parking lot. Her eyes said so much in that moment. She’s aware I’ve revealed our secret to Quinn. Soon, I’ll have to confess as much to her, reassuring her that she won’t be prosecuted for Wells’ murder.
But not tonight.
Tonight, I want to pretend the Alpha will go away forever, along with all of his accomplices. That his extortion of me poses no threat; the fingerprint on the victim’s neck doesn’t exist. The trafficked women will return to their homes and loving families. Quinn will look at me and only see the woman I am. Not the revenge-motivated victim I became. That somewhere below the fear I still am.
Quinn’s quiet as he signals his blinker and takes a right onto his street.
“I think it’s safe for me to go home now.” My voice seems too loud in the small space of the car.
He pulls into his apartment complex and parks. Kills the engine. “Did you see me hesitate?” he asks.
Confusion pulls the corners of my mouth down. “What do you mean?”
He doesn’t look at me as he removes his key from the ignition. His focus remains hard on the windshield, at something beyond. “Did you see me hesitate to pull the trigger?”
I swallow hard. “Yes,” I answer.
“You’re not completely safe, Avery. I had one job to do; pull the fucking trigger to ensure the threat against you was eliminated.” He looks at me then. “And I fucking hesitated.”
With a trembling hand, I go to reach for him, but he pulls away to open the door. “Wait.”
He stays.
God, but I just wanted to pretend for one night that this was over. I’m not stupid; I know the Alpha can get to me—can get to all of us—from behind prison walls. If he even goes to prison at all. He’ll be out on bail by the morning, just like the two men who kidnapped me.
It’s never going to be over.
For just one night…I wanted to feel safe. I need to feel safe.
My admission rushes out. “I hesitated, too,” I admit. “I had one job to do to make sure no one questioned Wells’ death. To make it look like an accident, and I couldn’t…” I trail off, the thick lump in my throat choking me off.
Quinn turns around. “The truth,” he demands. “Not some bogus confession you wrote out of wanting to protect Sadie. Tell me the truth.”
I swallow down my nerves. “I was there,
but I didn’t plant the evidence. I tried…but I’m just too weak.”
“Get out of the car.”
I blink rapidly. “What?”
He says nothing else as he exits the car and storms around to my side. He wrenches the door open and hoists me out of the seat before I can react.
Back braced against the car, I stare up into his face. The chill of the night air seeps past my thin dress, and I shiver. His gaze drags down my body. I flinch against his intense scrutiny, my insides no longer quaking from the cold.
“I can’t feel my legs,” I say. I’m trembling so badly now they can’t sustain my weight.
With a low groan, Quinn bends at the knees and scoops me into his arms. “Can you feel your arms?” I can only nod. “Good,” he says, kicking the door closed behind us. “Hold on, then.”
He carries me across the lot and up the two flights of stairs to his apartment. The whole way, I keep my head buried in the pocket of warmth between his neck and chest. I memorize his scent. The feel of his strong arms cradling me.
If this moment is fleeting, I want to sear it into my memory.
Once he has the door open and we’re inside his living room, I reluctantly lift my head and prepare to be put down. For his arms and his comforting scent to be taken away.
But he doesn’t release me. He stalks straight to his bedroom, where he lays me on the bed and hovers from above. “I wanted to kill Carson tonight.”