Where is My Mind
Alexis
The gravity of my very extreme, very precarious situation doesn’t register past the almost dreamlike quality of my surroundings until Chase’s manhood hits the back of my throat.
My eyes spring open against the dark.
I’m blindfolded. With his silk tie. On my knees. Naked—all but my stockings.
He means to degrade me. He intends to make me his possession. I am shaking—but not from fear. I have never, ever been this aroused by a man before. I’m so desperate to feel this elusive pleasure he’s promised that I’ve willingly submitted to him without clearly knowing the guidelines, or what he intends as punishment.
Another in my position might detest this uncertainty. Might fear his cruelty. Might feel indignant over the prospect of being owned.
But I know the difference. I know that when a person wishes to cause you suffering or pain—when they crave to strip you of your power—they don’t ask permission first.
They take.
Chase isn’t taking anything I’m unwilling to give. He’s offering me a choice, a release—something I’ve yearned for, but have been unable to voice. Even if I could, I’m not sure it would’ve mattered, as no one truly listens. I was screaming into a void, my pleas going unheard. Unanswered.
He heard me.
For that, I have given this man permission to own me—my body, my mind. If there’s anything to fear, it’s whether or not I can stop myself from giving him more. That once I give all of myself over, I’ll be lost to him.
And I’ll never want to be found again.
I’ve never been in the presence of anyone who knows exactly what they want and need, and knows just how to obtain it.
Chase has that power.
That’s the pull, the attraction. More than his physical beauty, which is an alluring aspect all of its own, it’s the appeal of giving over my doubt, my insecurity, to someone who can take control.
The loss of struggle and worry over my own existence liberates me to feel other things. Buried and ignored until this moment. I suppressed my own desires far below my conscience, and now they’re surfacing, rising at an alarming speed that almost frightens me.
He didn’t unlock the door; he tore it from the hinges.
This thought has me clinging to him. Taking his cock deeper into my mouth, craving the touch of his sure hands as he tightens his grip in my hair. Shivers race over my skin, tingling and sending a rush of adrenaline to my head. I’m almost woozy, as if I’m drunk on him.
Then, without warning, he pulls away, leaving me panting and aching. Worrying that I’ve done something wrong. This is a constant state of stress for me. The agonizing over having made some mistake that I’m unaware of—
“I’m not coming in your mouth,” he says, dousing the flames of my mind before they consume me. “Your mouth is so perfect, I’m going to enjoy filling it – but I’m going to fuck you first,” he says, a hint of promise in his deep voice that makes me quiver with anticipation “However, there’s the matter of trust to discuss before we go further. This won’t work at all without trust, Alexis. I need your compliance and trust as much as I need your body.”
That word: trust. Just hearing it tenses my insides, leaving a gaping emptiness where I was just—moments ago—sure I wouldn’t suffer that isolation with him.
“Trust doesn’t come easily for me,” I answer honestly. Speaking to him blindfolded alleviates the apprehension of seeing judgment in his eyes. It was difficult enough to admit I needed help for my brother. I don’t let others in easily, either. Especially to witness what causes me pain.
You believe you can trust someone with your secrets…until the moment they turn them against you. Use them to their own advantage. This is the truth as I know it. And despite my attraction to Chase, my yearning to disappear in his world that promises escape, the risk is far too great.
The feel of his strength closes in around me, his masculine scent invading my space as his arms enfold me. This tender touch is so acutely altered from his commanding nature, I stiffen against him. My body corded as tightly as his muscular arms enveloping me.
“Then pleasure first,” he says, his words a whisper-soft touch along my shoulder. “And trust will come. My wish is not to abuse you, Alexis. Understand that much. Breaking you of your confines and exposing you to desire you can’t comprehend just yet is my aim. And in doing so, yes, I’ll take pleasure. I’ll take tremendous pleasure in owning you.”
He runs his lips along my neck, his hot breath urging my chest to arch as he cups my breast, tenderly caressing and then twisting my nipple with a hard pull. His teeth nip at my skin, tiny bites that send a current of heat rushing through me.
“I want to trust you.” The breathy admission falls from my lips. It’s as much a confession, a surrendering of will, as it is a revelation.
He roams lower, his callused palms gaining friction over my skin, until he reaches my center. My body jerks at the sensation of his fingers seeking inside, the sudden jolt to my sensitive clit electrifying. My thighs ache to close, to wrap around him, but my position prevents me from doing so.
“There’s my greedy cunt,” he says against my ear. The ache deepens at the feel of his erection gouging into my thigh.