“What?” The word spits from my mouth harshly. I was going along with the idea that Ari and I would have to settle for friends—at least for now. Anything more would cause her too much trouble with her family. I was a bit sore over that at first. I don’t understand how a woman of probably twenty years of age, in today’s time, would let her family decide whom she can date, but it’s not really my place to question.
There are some dynamics there at work that I actually don’t want to understand. As long as Ari’s okay with it all, ultimately making the choice for herself, then it’s none of my business. I’ve decided I’ll discover this fact in time—I’ll figure out what to do later if it turns out differently. And besides, rushing headlong toward a girl out of my league is what got me in trouble way back when in the first place. Sometimes, we do learn from our mistakes.
But regardless, and against all better judgment, I’m unwilling to not be around her. I haven’t been able to think clearly for the last two days. My mind felt sticky, lazy, a constant awareness of her running on a loop in the background. I’m man enough to admit when I need to see something to the end—get to know this girl and get her out of my system.
I am not, however, going to set her up with my best friend. Fuck that.
She laughs, and my spine stiffens. “You’re asking me to set you up with Gavin,” I say, each word forced out through gritted teeth.
She shakes her head. “No. Not for me, for Vee.” Her head tilts, and the wind sends her soft brown curls across her cheek.
Realization dawns, and my chest loosens. A heavy breath whooshes from my mouth. “Your friend.” She nods once, affirming. “She’s into Gav?”
“That’s a gross understatement,” Ari says. “She would probably die if she knew I was even telling you.” I see her wince, as if her friend is aware of her actions right now. “Look, you can’t tell him right out. You have to be like, I don’t know, sneaky. Just casually mention to him he should ask her out, or something.”
I laugh. “That’s not exactly how guys work.” If I’m bothering to scope out some chick, enough to mention her, I’m in it for me. I sure as shit wouldn’t hint my interest to another guy, sicking the hard leg right on her. No guy would. We don’t think like women; checking out prospects for our friends.
It’s all about us. We’re selfish beasts that way.
With a sigh, Ari crosses her arms over her chest. “Well, that’s what I want, Ryder. I want Vee to have a chance with the guy she’s been infatuated with since freshman year.”
“Damn. Really? That long?” Why the hell hasn’t Gavin hooked up with her yet? She’s not bad on the eyes at all. Just the opposite.
“Just see what you can make happen,” she says, backing up a step. “And I’ll help you with whatever you need.”
“A story.”
She stops short. “Not novel length, I hope.”
A quick smile spreads across my face. “A short story. My professor is a real hard-ass on themes. Everything I’ve written so far is convoluted, or not testing my characters enough, or something. I’m not really sure what she wants from me.”
“Have you Googled her?”
“What?” I take a step closer to Ari, hating the distance she’s putting between us. I’m not ready for this lunch period to be over. For her to leave.
“Have you looked up your professor? Seen what pieces she has published. What works she favors.” She glances around, noticing the students starting to funnel into the school. “We’ll talk about it later. I’ll give you a list of things—”
“When?” I attempt to start walking beside her, but she holds up her hand.
“Just…text me. I have a class to get to.” Then she’s off. Turning and heading into the school before I can ask her anything more.
But it’s a start. I feel like we’ve been dancing around each other this whole time—not counting the actual time we danced, that is. I don’t want to let her go without confirmation that we’re going to see each other again.
God. I look up at the swaying tree branches, feeling like the biggest loser. This girl has me so wrapped around her finger, ready to do just about anything, and she doesn’t even realize it. It’s that sad. This is the one thing that is exactly like the Alyssa situation.
Even though I do need some help with my class—it’s not the reason why I asked her. I could’ve asked just about anyone to tutor me. And I could get through it okay with a passing grade, a decent story. I do want to excel, try to go for creating a story I’ll be proud of—but by asking her at all, I’m inviting her into a world I block everyone else from.
I had to do something, though. It’s a sorry excuse, one I’m sure she sees right through.
I shake my head and start toward the building. And just as Gavin strolls up to me in the hallway, an idea—one where I get to kill two birds with one stone—hits me square in the head.
“Hey, Gav, what’s the word on that booster party?”
* * *
A cold is sinking past my skin, into my bones. The wind lashes viciously at the field. I watch a stack of paper cups roll across the 50-yard line. One of the booster girls races after it, cradling a giant Gatorade bottle on her hip like a kid.
After popping on my helmet, I look to the risers, to where there’s always a small group of the boosters based at every practice. Ari is never one of them. Which is good, really, because I’m not sure I could concentrate if she was here. But the clear thought of her feels like a presence.