Fading Out (Living Heartwood 3)

This town reminds me of the upper-class district of my hometown. Where I rode the bus to nearly everyday, attending a school that was far out of my league. Where my parents commuted to for work, serving the better half. Where Alyssa once lured me under false pretext to a party at a mansion.

I remember freaking. I ran out and spent a good chunk of my savings on a nice outfit, just so I wouldn’t stand out. So I’d blend in. Those feelings of inadequacy never truly departed. Even now, after all these years and my recent revelations, the feeling of not being good enough slithers over me, covering me like a blanket of shame.

Even if I make millions in the pros, I’ll never be like these people. Like Ari’s people. There’s a class structure that even money can’t cross. Generations of breeding this class defines them above the simply obscenely rich.

And as I turn onto a road and spot a long, winding driveway, sweat beading across my forehead, I know that Ari’s parents will never accept me. But I’m okay with that. Just as long as Ari accepts me, and she’s willing to fight for us, I’ll never care again how others view me.

Twinkling lights dot the manicured yard, and a glowing fountain stands center. Music drifts out of the enormous house as I make my way up the drive. I parked along the street, hoping to make a break for it easily if I needed to, and a valet greets me before I reach the door.

“Keys, sir?”

I point over my shoulder. “I already parked. Thanks.” He gives me a hard once over, but steps aside. Then I dash around the house, ignoring his instruction to enter through the front.

I doubt I’ll get two feet inside before I’m tossed right back out. My best chance is to sneak in through the back. Try to find Ari and talk her into leaving with me before I’m noticed or cause a scene. The last thing I want to do is embarrass her…but I’m feeling damn near desperate.

Laughter and classical string music hits my ears as I creep through a pergola entryway to the backyard. I stop suddenly, feeling way underdressed. This house party is black tie. Hell. Attempting to straighten my shirt and brush my hair down from its disarray, I walk along the outskirts of the party, my eyes dancing around groups mingling.

On edge, I tug out my phone and send Ari a text. She hasn’t responded to a one since she told me she needed time to herself, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t see them. I glance around and type out my location to her, hoping she’ll know right where I am.

Not five minutes pass before I see her emerge through the crowd. My heart stops.

She’s wearing a black and tan gown that falls to her feet. It’s all lace and elegance. Her hair—that has in fact been streaked with blond highlights—is swept up off her shoulders. Loose tendrils fall from the up-do, cascading down the middle of her back. She’s so beautiful my chest aches. It will be a cruel punishment if I can’t win her back.

Nothing I do from this moment forward means a damn thing if she’s not mine.

Bolstering my confidence, I move with purpose through the crowd, my steps determined as I close the distance between us. She meets me halfway.

“Are you crazy?” she says in an urgent whisper. “What are you doing here?”

Not able to go another second without touching her, I grasp her elbow, urging her to follow me to an enclosed pool area. The party hasn’t gotten this far, and I usher her under an alcove of hanging string lights. As I look down at her, the glow shimmers in her amber eyes. If not for the circumstances, this would be a perfect moment.

“Vee told me.” I let my words hang between us, and watch as she connects their meaning. Her eyebrows pull together. “Ari, this is insane. You are not getting engaged to some random guy just because your parents want it.”

Her slim throat bobs as she swallows. “It’s complicated, Ryder.”

The world fucking tilts on its axis. I was hoping…shit. I don’t know. That she’d laugh it off. The idea of her engagement so utterly absurd that she’d blow it off with a wave of her hand, reassuring me that I have nothing to worry about.

That’

s not what happens, though. And the look on her face conveys all the torment she’s feeling.

“Hell no.” I link our hands together and start to pull her through the alcove, leaving. Immediately.

She jerks back. “I can’t leave!”

“Yes, you can!” I turn on her, my chest heaving and my eyes wild. “You can do anything you want, Ari. Anything and everything.” I pause, needing to center my thoughts. I’m so about to lose all control. “Explain it to me, then. Make me understand why you’re willing to trade in your freedom and happiness for this world?”

And like a blinding light full of the truth, it hits me. In that one question, I shed the last remaining, painful layer of myself. What was I willing to sacrifice to make my father’s dreams come true? To right all the wrongs; prove to everyone that I’m not Jake—that I’m better? My own passions and wants swept aside to be the star athlete with a real future.

The unequivocal truth that I’m better than my roots.

Ari’s eyes glisten with unshed tears. She shakes her head, over and over. “Because I’m no one,” she says.

I feel the confusion wash over my face. “What are you talking about?”

She laughs a mirthless laugh. Then sucks back her tears, stares into my eyes. “I’m fading away. Just…fading out of existence. If I ever really existed at all. Who I am isn’t as instrumental as what I am. A Wyndemere who will carry on this fabrication of reality. So me? All on my own? I’m no one, Ryder.” She sweeps a hand through the air, indicating her life. “And, God, but when you stumbled right into my little bubble, you burst the damn thing open.” She shakes her head. “I wanted you so badly. I wanted to be someone with you. But that was the biggest lie of all, wasn’t it?”

“No.” I grab her wrists and bring her to me. “I see you. No matter how you try to hide, I see you, Ari. And I’ll be damned if I let you believe all this bullshit. You are someone. You’re so much to me… And you’re more than that, even; you’re standing here, so vivid and real, it’s tearing at me to keep from touching you.”