The Darkest Part (Living Heartwood 1)

I bite my bottom lip, stopping it from trembling. “You kissed me.” It’s an accusation.

“You kissed me.” He raises his eyebrows.

My mouth parts, but I’m stunned silent.

“You’re a cute girl,” he says, each of his words tearing at my defenses. “And I wo

n’t lie, the other day was hot. You’re going to be one sexy woman when you grow up. But that’s just how I am. I make out with a lot of chicks. And I was boned up the other day.” He laughs. “Sorry. Sometimes I do dumb shit when I’m high.”

All the air vacates my lungs. My chest feels like its imploding, sucking me inside out, crushing me. My heart’s beating in my throat. I’ve never heard Holden talk so much all at once—and when he finally opens up to me, he’s wrong. Just wrong.

I swallow hard. “You’re lying.”

His head snaps back like he’s been slapped. Good. “Whatever,” he breathes out. “Just do me a favor, don’t tell your parents. I don’t want the hassle from them over some jailbait.”

And now I feel like I’ve been slapped. We didn’t do anything for him to really get into trouble over . . . and he’s not eighteen yet . . . but even still. “I wouldn’t say anything, Holden. I’m not like that.”

He yanks out a hand from his pocket and holds it up. “You got to get over this little crush, Sam.” My eyes go wide. “It’s really sweet, but almost a little stalker-ish. I see you watching me at school and shit. I was wrong to fuck around in art. I shouldn’t have . . . I mean. I shouldn’t have lead you on . . . I just thought—”

He’s stumbling over his words, like he’s veering from his cheat sheet. “Not going how you planned?” I say, my voice ragged. “Why are you doing this? Why are you being such an asshole? I’m not some stupid little kid. I know what those paintings meant.”

He tips his head back and exhales. When he looks at me again, all his expression conveys is annoyance. I take a step back, feeling the tears about to fall. “Okay, I didn’t want to be an ass about this, but you’re just not getting it.” He advances, and I take another step back. He grabs my arms. “I was curious what it’d be like to fuck you. But I changed my mind, all right? I don’t want the trouble from your parents or the cops.”

“Let go of me.” I jerk back, but his fingers dig in deeper. “I said let go!”

His eyes flash, and for a split second, something registers. “Sorry.”

“Fuck you!”

“Sam—”

“Don’t ever fucking talk to me again. Don’t ever fucking look at me again.” I turn my back on him and storm off, my heart ready to leap out of my chest. My breathing is heavy, and my vision blurs.

I fight back the tears until I know I’m far enough away.

And then I keep fighting them.

Once I’m safely in my room, I let them fall, trailing scorching paths down my cheeks. When Tyler walks into my room, he doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t question. He just holds me until I’m all cried out.

HOLDEN

I can’t stop pacing.

My head is aching, my knuckles sore from gripping my hands into fists. Whatever my dad said to Sam has her upset. She’s been sitting under that tree for half an hour, just staring off into nothing.

I continue to argue with myself about storming into his house and demanding to know what he did to her—but my sanity wins out. For now. If she’d picked any other place to go, I’d have gone to her in a heartbeat. But I can’t. Not here. Not after what happened the last time.

I was such a dick back then. But I had a reason for why I hurt her. I had a good reason. Only, it means fuck all now, doesn’t it?

As she wraps her arms around herself, her tiny shirt inches up to reveal a sliver of smooth stomach, and I just want to come out of my skin. I almost laugh out loud. I’m losing my mind. After all this time, I’m still losing my shit over this girl. But when she buries her face in her knees, and I see the tremble of her shoulders, I can’t take it anymore.

Stepping from behind the huge pine, I say gently, “He’s an asshole, Sam.”

She startles, whipping her head around. “Holden? What the hell—?”

I hold up my hands. “I saw you . . .” I glance behind me, indicating that I saw her leave the house. “I don’t know why you were there, but I wish you would’ve told me first. I could’ve warned you that he’s unreasonable now.” I laugh, I can’t help it. “Unreasonable now. As if he’s ever been.”

She scrambles against the tree and pushes herself up to stand. “It’s understandable, considering everything he’s gone through since . . .” She looks away, down the trail, away from me. She can’t say it.