I bow my head, hiding my eyes from his intense gaze, and nod. “So we can’t train at the meadow anymore?”
He walks to the corner of the room and lifts up a dark canvas, revealing shiny metal. Swords. “We’ll go there twice before we commence the mission.” He picks up a rapier and turns it over and over, examining the blade in the torchlight. “You need to practice with a couple different people to get a feel for how others attack. And Fallon wants to evaluate your progress.”
For some reason, having the little Rebel leader—another girl—monitor me makes me nervous. I stretch my arms over my head, loosening my stiff muscles, then stare at the ground, hoping that Devlan only plans on sword practice. I ache already as I imagine hitting the stone floor.
Walking over to me, he hands me a lethal-looking sword. Its blade is long and thin, but not as long as Devlan’s. The dark steel of the hilt contrasts against my hand as I grasp it. I hold it out, feeling the balance of the weapon. It’s not too heavy, but I know I’m in for extremely sore arms tomorrow.
Devlan slices his blade through the air a few times, getting a feel for the sword he picked out. “In any other situation, I’d have you suited up properly with armor. But since it’s too risky, seeing as we’re trying to be as stealthy as possible, we’ll just have to take extra care not to mortally injure one another.” A slight smile curves his mouth, but I can see the concern that he’s trying to conceal behind it.
I nod through my own fear. “Why aren’t you using your own sword?” I say, noticing he set his in the corner. “And why can’t we just use the practice swords?”
“Because our weapons are inspected.” He takes a couple more swipes. “I don’t think they’d believe I was simply hacking at cherry trees for fun.” He crooks another smile at me. “Practice swords are counted and inspected, also. I don’t want to chance anyone noticing some missing. These are from the Rebel camp.” Then his face sobers. “Zara?”
I look up. “Yes.”
“Do you believe what Sebastian told you today?” He studies me a moment, then says, “Are you convinced of his ignorance of Outside, and that he really wants change?”
His gaze is disarming. I turn my back to him and search my conscience, seeing Sebastian’s golden eyes twinkle as he spoke to me in the square. Finally, I face him. “I do.”
He nods slowly, his eyes drifting to the ground. He’s quiet for a long moment, then he walks up and stands over me. I look up into his cool eyes. “When the barrier is lowered and Hart is gone,” he says, “we’ll ne
ed Sebastian to command the Force and the army against the attack that awaits us.”
I tilt my head. “Yes, Devlan. We’ve discussed this. What are you saying?”
His eyes hold mine. “That if you trust him—if your feelings for him have changed…” He shifts his stance. “… then there’s no reason that you can’t be with him. Truly be with him, and help him command.”
My mouth falls open. I always thought that the charade would end. That I would no longer have to pose as Sebastian’s betrothed once we freed the Taken. I would find my father, cure him, and then…
What?
The barrier will be down. We’ll all be exposed to Outside and its horrors. We’ll need to fight every day to beat back the darkness.
I pull myself up straight. “So you want me to continue to be with him in order to secure an army.” I nod my head hard. “That is all I am. A piece on a chess board to manipulate, or rather, to manipulate your future leader.” I cross my arms.
Devlan’s eyes widen. “No. That’s not at all what you are, Zara.” He steps closer to me, the shard of air between us charged. “If you care for him, I just wanted you to know that there’s no reason not to be together.” He bites down on the corner of his lip, slightly exposing the dimple along his cheek. “I thought this would please you to hear.”
No, it doesn’t. And I’ve heard enough.
I exhale heavily and raise my sword.
His hand lowers the blade slowly. “It’s important that we discuss this. We have yet to set a date to commence the mission.”
“What does this have to do with the date?”
His face hardens. “If you wish to be with Sebastian, then we don’t have to rush the mission to take place before your…” He drops the point of his sword toward the floor and adjusts his footing. “It doesn’t have to be before the marriage ceremony.”
I open my mouth, then snap it closed. My face burns as hot as the torch flame lighting the room. “You’re concerned about my wedding night?” As I say it, I want to hide. He can’t truly be weighing this as part of our mission.
He exhales, releasing a strained breath. “I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to. Not even for the mission.” His eyebrows pull together. “The ceremony is still nearly two months away. I feel, if we work hard, you’ll be trained before that night.”
I nod, understanding. My eyes dance around the chamber, looking everywhere but at him.
“But,” he continues, “if you’re already feeling something for Sebastian—love, maybe—then there’s no reason why you can’t go ahead and marry him.”
I force my eyes to meet his. “Devlan, all that I have thought about since I saw my father on that damned monitor is saving him.” I grip my hilt. “There is no room in this mission for love, correct?” I study his face closely.
A muscle jumps along his jawline as his mouth tenses. “That’s how I see it. But—”