Tired of my mind and my aches, I curse my death bed and rise. Slugging toward the open window, I beg the gods for just one cool breeze. I miss the ocean air like I long for Xarion’s sweet touch. Outside my window is nothing but sand and more sand. Though this is the safest place to raise Xarie, I wish I could see the deep blue waters one last time. Show my daughter the wonders of the sea.
From the dunes, the taw
ny sands begin to stir. I hold my breath. The breeze is warm, but I welcome its soft brush. “Thank you,” I whisper. And I know it’s time. I can’t fight the power any longer.
Phoenix’s heavy footfalls sound at the entrance to our hut. “There’s a swell coming off the red land.”
I nod, keeping my gaze on the rising winds.
Xarie wraps her arms around my leg, and I reach down and lift her into my arms. I smooth back her dark locks, look into her gleaming blue eyes. Then unlatching the golden asp necklace from around my neck, I remove it and place it around hers. “Live freely and love bravely, my daughter.”
After I embrace her, Phoenix takes her from my arms and lays her down for a nap. When he returns, I say, “I know she’ll be well guarded, but could you try to keep her ignorant of your whoring ways . . . at least until she’s gone through her Change?”
He chuckles, and my chest tightens. I’m going to miss that sound. “There are no promises where the ladies are concerned.” He winks. “But I do vow to break any boy that tries anything with her. Especially any boy like me.”
I match his smile until his features reveal the tension he’s trying to mask. “I’ll miss you, Star.”
I clear my eyes of the moisture, and repeat the words he once told me. “It doesn’t end here. I’ll miss you until later. Much later.” I smile.
Moving beside Xarion’s coffin, I lie down and settle my hand atop the golden case, my head resting on a silk cushion. As I let go, my soul falling away from my body, Phoenix kneels close, ready to perform the funeral rites.
For a moment, there is nothing. No sound. No color. No coolness or warmth.
Then a lambent light blooms around me, slowly brightening into a brilliance that should hurt my eyes, but it’s as if I’ve waited to experience this real sight my whole life.
My senses flood with feeling, so intense, and then I’m cradled in warmth. The heat stems from my hand and spreads through my body. I look down and lace my fingers through his.
He strokes my jawline, lifting my face and my gaze meets his emerald eyes—clear and vibrant—like time never passed between us. “You’re home,” he says, his voice stirring all my love.
“You are my home.”
Xarion’s lips caress mine as I’m welcomed past the gates of the underworld.
Acknowledgements
This book has been over a year in the making, and one of the hardest struggles I’ve faced in my writing career. The amount of research I had to invest before even putting fingers to keys was astounding. Many times I feared I’d never be able to do this story justice and wanted to quit. Luckily, I have the most amazing support team, and their faith in this story, the characters, and me never wavered. I love all of their faces so hard. I’m extremely grateful for their praise, love, encouragement, and even the firm ass kicking they give when I need it the most.
First, I have to thank my amazing critique partners. Without you guys, I’d have lost even MORE hair while writing this story. Rachel Harris, Victoria Scott, Shannon Duffy, and Patrice Michelle. Thank you for the countless emails back and forth, reading the same scenes over and over, and simply, for everything. You guys are not only the greatest CPs, you’re my friends—the bestest. *squishes*
To my mother, my rock. Not only are you an awesome book blogger who knows her shit. You’re the voice inside my head (and on the other end of the phone!) shouting at me to write steamier, hotter, and with more passion and feelings. To let my characters “get down.” Without your input, I fear this novel would be far less romantic, and not nearly the heat level needed. Mom, you know your swoons.
Dad, you don’t know how many times talking to you helped me calm down. So many times I was close to jumping off the ledge, the stress so bad my hair was falling out! Your confident cool and strength always centers me. Thank you for your unflappable belief in me when I doubt myself, and for always being there. I’m forever a Daddy’s girl.
To my amazing team of beta readers and early readers and cheerleaders who keep me going. I just don’t know what I’d do without you guys! Not only did you give me amazing feedback that helped shape this story into something readable, your enthusiasm in emails and on Twitter got me through the tough times. In no particular order, thank you to Jaime Arnold, Jessica Estep, Megan Verhegghe, Kayleigh-Marie Gore, Lindsey Mead, Pavan Hansra, Rachel Clarke, Julie Brazeal, Valerie Fink, and Amber Troyer. I heart you guys!
And to all the amazing, supportive YA book bloggers! You guys make crazy cool things happen. I’m honored to be a part of your community.
A special shout out to a fantastic historical author who saved me when I was drowning in history. Stephanie Thornton swooped in and marked up my novel with her magic red pen (MS Word Comments) and worked her magic. Thank you, thank you. This novel would not be nearly the story I wanted to tell without you.
Another special mention to the amazing Andrew Chugg. Your recommendations on some of the hardest books I’ve ever tried to read helped me recreate Ptolemaic Alexandria. Thank you for the emails and direction and suggestions, as well as your own book, The Quest for the Tomb of Alexander the Great, that is a wealth of knowledge.
To the girls of YA Bound. You ladies are some of the most talented authors and bloggers I’ve had the privilege of working with, as well as swooning with ;) Thank you for your amazing support. Tara Fuller, Rachel Harris, Eileen Li, Nereyda Gonzalez, and Kelly Hashway. Hugs! Thank you to the ladies of Omnific for the support as well as advice and a great author loop to blow off steam. You keep me sane.
Thank you to my husband who puts up with my late night editing sessions, missing showers for days on end (yes, I know!), and for loving me so much despite my headache-inducing career choice. And for creating the map of Alexandria. That means more to me than you even know. My son tolerates a lot of neuroticism from me, also. So thanks, Blue, for only slightly ducking your head when we walk into a store and your mom’s got dried, crusty milkshake in her hair. My guys are the best.
Stephanie Mooney, thank you for taking my vision of the cover and creating artwork that surpassed my expectations. It’s gorgeous! And to Jaye Manus, who was patient with me during edits when I had to change the formatting date. Thank you for taking my story and making it look super professional. The interior is perfect.
To my readers. There are no words powerful enough to express how grateful I am to have such a loyal fanbase. Because of you, I get to live my dream of being an author. Thank you for your praise and encouragement, and for rocking so hard it isn’t even funny. The biggest hugs to you all!