“Kal?” Lilly’s questioning tone bleeds into the many thoughts stalling me.
She takes her long layers of red hair and slides them over one shoulder. “We may have a solution,” she says, eying Bax carefully. “In the Cage, we didn’t have much of a choice. But we do now. Every one of us who came here, did so with the knowledge that we might not escape this time. And we’re prepared for that. You probably won’t like what we’re about to suggest…but it’s perhaps the only way. Are you prepared?”
My best friend is asking more of me than if I’m prepared to die. More than if I’m prepared to watch them die. Though nothing could ready me for either, I’ve accepted this as my ending. Bale will decimate our world. We are all going to suffer no matter what course we decide on.
But Lilly’s asking me, truly, if I can let Caben go. Because my vow will never be fulfilled. I can live with a lot of shortcomings, but my honor was never one of them. It’s more than pride as a protector or Nactue. It’s the only real thing I’ve ever trusted about myself. The only truth of my existence.
And how sad. So many others have immeasurable belongings to live for: love, family, devotion to a passion. Me? It’s my word. But it’s at least the one thing I can offer someone. A promise.
I hold out my hand and ask for Lilly’s transmitter. If I’m going to fault on my honor, I should at least say my goodbyes to my mother and father first. I understand now that my own father was a pawn in this war. It doesn’t, ultimately, excuse his actions; we still all have a free will. But it does give me something I’ve never had before.
A reason why he hurt me so deeply.
It will have to be enough.
I program in my mother’s transmission and suck down a breath. When her image springs above the device, I say, “I need to speak to him.”
? 27 ?
Caben
I AT LEAST THOUGHT Lake would be by my side during the insufferable end.
It’s damn foolish, and absurd, that I should miss an ugly mutant’s face. Having to let Kal go has warped my brain beyond repair. I laugh out loud. As if I could get any more warped. But I did leave something behind when I walked away from her.
A part of me.
The last part that was truly myself. It took a force of sheer will to leave her, and I’m completely drained because of it. I have nothing left to hold back Bale, no lust for alcohol or the stomach for it. Whatever I manage to consume comes straight back up with a sickening retch. Bale is on her way.
Steering the Crusher one-handed, I slip my free hand into my pocket, finding Kal’s insignia. My token only brings me pain. I pull it out, press it to my lips, then hold my hand out the open window to chuck it—but my fingers won’t release the damn thing. Though it kept me sane some of the time, it never brought me much comfort. It was always a measly excuse for the real Kal.
Still, for nostalgia or whatever else, I drop it back into my pocket.
It’s getting easier to let everything else go, at least. After leaving Kal behind, I can walk away from my life. My father’s dead. The kingdom he left me, gone. Not even Kal could keep the leeches back. They’d have worn me down over time, anyway. Julian, my own cousin, hah. He was always a little shit. But I give him credit; I didn’t see him coming.
My mother…she’s in the best place possible. She will never have to return to the ward. The Nactue will look after her, and when Kal recovers, she’ll make sure of that.
And Bale won’t get her evil talons on my girl. I’m still a disgusting fiend for what I did to Kal, but she’s now out of harm’s way. The power will keep her bedridden for possibly another day. And by going to the Otherworld, getting as far away from her as I can, I’m making sure she stays safe.
It will also give Kal and her people time to devise a plan. Maybe. Some strategy to defeat Bale on their own turf. I’m not entirely sure what they’ll be facing when she arrives, but I know Kal. She’ll succeed.
I am keeping my promise, ultimately. I never let Bale hurt her. I took the bleeding cuff—the Freedom Ring—that day in the Cage. I summoned the dark goddess within myself, and I’ve fought and struggled for months, battling Bale every second in order to protect Kal.
It’s cost me my sanity, and my life, but maybe now I can bow out of this world a hero.
For that, I hope, Kal will be able to forgive me.
Just in this moment, I allow a full smile to stretch my face. I may be deranged, but let me have my delusions. I’ve earned them.
The Crusher lurches over the bleak desert, the wind and my speed sending sand-filled gusts against the windshield. I wish I’d have thought to steal one of my vehicles; a Cury or something sleek and fast. But I was single-mindedly taken with one objective at the time. It’s a good thing I had a backup Crusher. The damn Otherworlders took everything else.
Though I gave the order, still, they just up and vacated. Left their Liege behind to go await their dark goddess. Well, here she comes, boys!
I shift into a higher gear and bear down on the pedal, gaining more speed over the terrain.
A surreal numbness washes over me as I enter the Otherworld.
The first time I was brought here I was forced. A prisoner. A terrified, weakling of a prince who was trying to hide his identity—unprepared for the terrors. I didn’t take in the beautiful colors. The glowing sediment and soaring rock and shiny metal makeshift buildings. Everything felt so eerie, dark and desolate.