He rested his elbow on the edge of the window and his forehead in his hand. He made small circles on his temples. Twenty-four hours ago, he hadn’t even been interested in fucking anyone. Twelve hours ago, he was perfectly fine with a simple one-night stand. Now he was considering not sleeping with a woman who’d kept him hard all day because of the possibility she knew who he was?
“I’m insane. ”
He pressed his fingers to his eyes. He was just tired. Stressed. Still reeling over what Veronica had done. Hell, hard to put it behind him when everyone kept bringing it up. What difference did it make if Lexi wanted something from him, anyway? She was great. It wouldn’t kill him to introduce her to someone or help her out in some other way.
“Fuck. ” The thought made his stomach knot.
Yeah, actually, it would. What would kill him was knowing she’d come on to him with the favor in mind, not because she’d been attracted to him. He was sick of being used. Worse, of being fooled into being used.
The car slowed, and Jax decided he’d let things play out. Take everything one step at a time.
He tipped the driver and dragged his filthy, sweaty self through the pristine, marbled lobby. He felt like a snail leaving a trail and darted self-conscious glances toward the sunken lounge and dimly lit bar. A number of beautiful women dressed the tables, a few of those blonde. But of course he had no way of knowing if any were Lexi.
He vowed to take the stairs if anyone else got on the elevator with him. No use in subjecting others to this sight or smell—but the car was empty, and Jax stepped in. He glanced at his reflection on the mirrored wall, winced at the grime, the way his hair stuck out all over, the cut on his forehead, then turned and hit number seven.
At his room, he slipped his key card into the door, turned the handle, then paused. This was where Lexi had stood a little less than twelve hours before. She’d been nervous, he’d been sure of it at the time. Now he wondered if he’d been projecting his nerves onto her. Or if she’d been reading him and playing off those nerves to see if he’d respond to them.
“I’m a lunatic. ” Jax pushed open the door, forcing his mind away from what he’d done to Lexi right there in the hall that morning. He flipped on the light and tossed his key card on the side table while glancing at the sofa, commanding his mind not to remember what Lexi had done to him right there.
Which, of course, didn’t work. He saw her shadow lower to her knees. Saw her head between his legs. Blood roared that direction.
He growled, pried his gaze away from the sofa, and turned toward the bedroom while stripping off his T-shirt. Pulling it over his head, he sighed, anticipating the feel of the shower. He tossed his shirt on the bed but was already dragging clean, folded clothes from his freshly washed duffle, which the staff had set on the dresser.
Something crinkled when his shirt landed.
Jax turned and lifted his shirt. A paper bag indented the comforter. A handwritten note on the front in ink said, In case you didn’t get time to eat. ~ Lex
She must have had the staff deliver it, the same way he’d had them deliver his jacket. A painful, tingling burn erupted high in his chest, as if he’d been stung by bees, and the emotion that followed tightened his throat. He blinked quickly to clear his eyes, reached down, and dumped the contents of the bag on the white down comforter.
An apple, a protein bar, cashews, a small plastic container of fresh blueberries, and a four-piece box of Godiva chocolates.
Warmth spread through his body as he stood and stared at the food. He huffed a pathetic laugh and murmured, “This is what it feels like?”
Or what it would feel like if it were real. To have a woman think of him during the day
. Anticipate his needs and fill them before he even realized they would be needs. This was what it would feel like to know he mattered to a woman. Really mattered.
Jax ate the cashews while the shower water warmed and he undressed. Took the blueberries into the enclosure with him and devoured them while the hot water pounded his muscles. He tossed the carton into the sink across the room and dropped his head back under the spray. With the edge of his hunger sated, relief streaming through his muscles, and a beautiful woman waiting for him, a deep sense of…rightness filled Jax. A sense of comfort. A sense of peace. A sense of… He opened his eyes. Water droplets dripped off his lashes.
Happiness. Deep happiness.
“Don’t set yourself up, dumbshit. ”
If nothing else, Lexi had shown him what he was striving for. Now, at least, he knew what it looked like—metaphorically speaking. Knew what it felt like—or could feel like.
He dried off and pulled on clean underwear and jeans. Drying his hair with one hand, Jax sat on the bed and picked up his phone. He tapped Lexi’s name, and options came up. Instead of texting her, he hit the button to dial and held the phone up to his ear.
On the third ring, the phone picked up, and a soft, sleepy, female voice said, “Hello?”
Jax opened his mouth to speak and found his throat closed.
“Hello?” Lexi said again, more alert this time. More query in her voice.
“Hey,” Jax finally got out, then swallowed and shook his head at himself. “It’s Jax. ”
“Hi…” She drew out the word, her voice lifting with pleasure and surprise. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting to hear your voice. What a nice surprise. I…” She laughed softly. “Fell asleep again. I haven’t slept this much in months. Sexual satisfaction seems to do a lot for me. ”
Jax couldn’t keep the smile off his face.