“I’ve never told you what I think you should or shouldn’t do. Never nagged you about sticking with one guy. Never even whined about never getting to meet any. ” She offered the lingerie to Rubi. “But this time, Rubi, this time, I really think you’re making a mistake. ”
“Why would you say that?” Rubi scowled at her friend and took the lace from her hand. “We both know what would happen. I’d screw him once…okay, maybe twice, because he’d just be that damn good, and then I’d walk away. He’d be pissed and hurt. And how do you think he’d feel about hanging with me then? It would ruin what we have, Lexi—this comfortable, fun foursome. And imagine when he finds another girl and wants her to hang with us. God, what a mess. ”
She strode into the bathroom and stripped the corset from her body. Her heart was beating too fast. Her breathing too shaky.
In the other room, Lexi said, “And what if the sky falls tomorrow?”
She wiggled into the translucent bra bordered in leather. Damn, Lexi made the most beautiful creations. “The chances of the sky falling are about one zillion to one. The chances of things going bad with Wes are 100 percent. ”
“There is another side to those what-ifs,” Lexi said. “Like, what if…you screwed him once…okay, definitely twice, because he would be that damn good, and you didn’t walk away? What if…you stayed long enough to figure out if he’s everything you want and need in a man? What if…now I’m going out on a limb here…you actually admitted to yourself that you’re already half in love with the man and could easily finish falling if you even just tried on this friends-with-benefits deal?”
Rubi stepped out of the bathroom with what felt like a boulder in her chest. She could barely breathe. Both her fight and her flight reflexes were now amped to full power, gushing adrenaline into her chest. “You just told me you didn’t think it would work. ”
“Not long-term, no. But I think it would give you the safety net you think you need to try with Wes. ”
She was starting to sweat. Her heart beat even harder. “You’re delusional. Love has infected your brain. Just because you’re head over heels with Jax does not mean the rest of the world has changed. I have definitely not changed. I’ve never been a forever type of woman. Hell, I’ve never even been a more-than-a-month type of woman. And for the last five years I haven’t even been a more-than-one-night type of woman. ”
Fear eclipsed her thought process. She had to work hard to think in a straight line. Extra hard to keep her arguments together. Because now that Lexi had gone and voiced those what-ifs that Rubi had suppressed in her subconscious, she couldn’t ignore them.
“Going around and around about this is just confusing you,” Lexi said. “You’re living off a script you put in your head a long time ago, one that doesn’t apply to who you are now. ”
Lexi lowered to her knees again. Rubi knew she was blowing a chance with someone special, and that hurt. But she could handle being hurt if that meant Wes wasn’t. She could—she had to—let a chance with Wes pass if that meant he didn’t get damaged by her issues. As long as she was blowing it for herself and not for Wes, she could handle it.
Rubi turned according to Lexi’s gestures. As her friend pinned an area in the back of the bra, Rubi pressed a hand to her stomach. She didn’t like this. She didn’t want this. She just wanted to stay in her safety zone and keep Wes in his own safety zone.
“Just in case you were wondering,” Lexi said, “the reason you’re all jittery and sweaty and can’t think straight is because you’re crazy about him. Because you care. Because he matters. None of the others did. That alone should tell you everything you need to know. ”
That was information Rubi didn’t need. And bringing it out in the open like this only complicated all her current struggles.
Yeah, she definitely needed some space.
Eight
Wes stopped the truck along the curb in front of Lexi’s studio, and the sight in his left eye blurred. Hard to believe he’d been in perfect health when he’d left here just four hours ago. No broken bones, no bruises, no blood—all of which he had now, after a few hours with Bolton.
He was relieved to see a light still on at almost one in the morning and pulled his phone out to text Jax.
WES: Are you and Lexi up?
JAX: The woman never sleeps, which means neither do I. Where are you?
WES: Outside.
JAX: Come in.
Wes pocketed his phone. The movement shot pain through his shoulder. “Fuck. ”
Rage kicked into a boil again. He was livid. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so angry.
He put all his focus into moving without splitting his head open. The whole left side of his head and face throbbed with each pulse of blood.
Jax came to the studio’s entrance in gym shorts and a T-shirt and jerked the door open. “Do you need to go to the ER?”
“No. ” His disgust came out in that one word. “I need ice and painkillers. ”
Jax turned away and started through the downstairs studio toward an employee break room. “What happened?”
“That fucker Bolton happened. ”