Going Under (Wildfire Lake 2)

“Like what?”

“Like a partner. A best friend. A lover. Someone to share my life with. Someone to love my kids like they’re her own.”

That’s not what I expected him to say. “Jeez, no pressure.”

He laughs. “I warned you.”

“That’s a tall order. I don’t know if I can live up to your expectations.”

“You’ve exceeded them all so far.” He kisses my temple. “Am I just one of many for you, Kat? Just someone to play with while you’re here? Someone you’ll forget as soon as you’re gone?”

I don’t like the way he’s portraying me, but I can’t argue with it either. “I’ll admit, this is a gray area for me, and I’m not entirely sure why, but I know you’re different. You’re the first man who’s ever made me want more.”

“How is that possible when you’ve got one foot out of town? In six months, you’ll be gone, and I’m pretty damn sure you’re going to take my heart with you.”

I think about the risk of showing him what I was working on before he came in. But I test things out first. I look over my shoulder at him. “Have you ever been sailing?”

“A couple of times. A friend of mine during residency borrowed his parents’ sailboat once in a while. I went out, but I didn’t do anything but sit on the edge and watch. Violet asked for sailing lessons for her birthday after you left today. I think you might have spread your bug.”

“When’s her birthday?”

“May.”

“I can take her out. Rent a sailboat in Santa Barbara and teach her. I might even be able to mine my contacts and trade some mechanical work for time with the boat. None of these owners get their boats out of their slips often enough. Poppy’s old enough to learn too. Jazz is a bit too little, but we could find ways to make her feel involved.”

“We?” he asks.

“I’m hoping you’ll want to come. I thought I might spread my bug to you too.”

He snuggles close again. “Yeah?”

I hold my breath and open the laptop.

“Baby, I don’t need porn to get revved up for you.” He rocks his erection against my ass.

“It’s not porn,” I say with an eye roll in my voice.

He looks at the screen over my shoulder. I roll fully onto my stomach to control the keyboard, and Ben slides right into place, his hips between my thighs, weight on his forearms.

“What’s this?” he asks even as his hand sneaks beneath my towel to stroke my thigh, hip, ass. He moans and gently closes his teeth against my neck. “Never mind, I don’t care what that is.”

He moves both hands up my sides, under my belly, over my breasts, and pushes his hips against mine. I’m thoroughly distracted, but I’m afraid if I don’t tell him now, I’ll lose the nerve.

“It’s the girls’ school schedule for next year.”

He lifts his head. “What?”

“I marked off their holidays.” I click through the calendar. “I was thinking that if we wanted to, you know, try this you-and-me thing, that you could bring the girls to wherever I am on their school breaks, and I could fly or sail back here to see you in between.”

When he doesn’t say anything, I push on, suddenly nervous. “I didn’t realize how much I wanted to share my experience growing up until I thought about having you all join me.

“I really think the girls would not only have fun, but they could learn so much. Sailing teaches you all about navigation and wind and current and control and finesse. You’re surrounded by marine biology, geology, astronomy. And there’s nothing like that kind of silence and solitude to give you room to think and get to know yourself on a deeper level than they’d learn surrounded by all the noise of the internet and friends.

“I could teach them to dive, make sure they all know the most advanced water safety. And if I move to different ports, they could learn about whatever culture we’re visiting, some basics of the language. I could even let each girl pick where we go next.”

Half of what I’m saying is just flowing out of my mouth. I didn’t even consciously think about these additional things until right this second. And the idea feels so right, it just spills out.

I draw a breath to say more, but Ben reaches around, turns my head, and kisses me, long and deep. And if he wants to end the conversation here, I’ll be disappointed, but I’ll accept it and just take what he’s willing to offer.